elgeneral

Sometimes I think that I don't believe in god anymore because of the things I have seen and things that he lets happen in this world. Then I find myself wondering if I will be forgiven for the things that I have done. Or I find myself looking up to the sky when something bad or good happens. I don't agree with a lot of the things that catholic church says, but I believe that is good and that questioning religion is a good thing. I don't think I have to change my religion or not not believe in god because I don't go to church often or don't agree with the churches stance on things.

Enough about that now. Not sure why I even wrote about it. I have been having trouble sleeping again and it sucks. I think I need to go back to therapy for the PTSD. I don't like leaving my house lately unless I absolutley have to or if it is at night when no one is out. The worst thing is not being able to trust yourself, because you know you are sick. These feelings don't come on all day but they do get to me. Sometimes I just have to go take a nap and that kind of resets my brain, kind of like restarting a computer when it is going wacky. Or I just listen to some really good mellow music or watch a movie that I love.

Well on a good note my football team is still undefeated and I talked to my sister for her birthday. all of my fav sports teams are doing well. I was a little slut this weekend, had sex with 3 different girls in 4 days. I need to stop that because I am still thinking about getting me one of those serious relationships. I just can't put it away sometimes.

That is it for now. Take care everyone and I love you all.