elfboy

Well.
It's over. My Mom died on Sunday of last week @ around 3:45
pm. My Father & I had gone to a nearby town (15 miles away....) to pick up some photo enlargements of my visiting extended family.
I had told him about some of my recent adventures & or troubles on the way "home", & he listened as I grasped for a means to make it clear to him my situation. The way I described it struck me as odd later, as it echoed my Mom's state, metaphorically, but I shan't get into that too deeply as you would need a PHd to grasp the metaphorical sublties.

Anyway, the minute we returned from the store, as I walked in the door, I had a feeling. I rushed to my Mom's bed, immediately watching her breast for breathing. There was no visible motion. Her skin was warm as I felt for her pulse, but I couldn't tell if her pulse was just really faint, or it was my pulse (this is a common error made when checking pulses)...

My Father asked me what I was doing. I told him.

"Get out of the way," he said, as he's an EMT. He checked her carotid artery for activity, & concurred.

She was no longer amoungst the living.

My sister, who had been sleeping off her hyper-vigilance a few feet away, awoke.

"What's happening"? she asked.

We informed her.

Long & short, we'd had her body transported to a medical school in Syracuse for organ donation (if possible considering her condition) & medical research. My Father doesn't want the urn, so my sister will have it shipped to her, & we'll scatter her ashes in the ocean in Maine, her home state.

I've spent the last week monitoring my sister's mad rampages & breakdowns as she handled my Mother's estate, limiting her destroying everything of value, even if it is not of sentimental value to her, personally.

My sister has a few.... disorders, conditions, syndromes, & ailments.
& hormonal concerns....

I'll post some of the crazy assed retro pictures & such I'd managed to save w/ the help of, & despite, my sister.

"What do you want to save that for"? she'd asked....

"Because you're an emotional mess & don't know what you're doing. Because you are clueless as to the historical value of these antiques & collectables, or how historically relevant your Mother is as a local personality, or how she became that way. Or how as an early feminist, she participated in creating awareness for Women's Rights, economic justice, & right for Women & people w/ alt lifestyles to make their own life decisions...." I thought to myself..... that & a few less... nice thoughts amidst the tension.....

I don't mean to sound unkindly towards my sister. She's had a rough life. It's just how I felt. I knew she would not make good decisions in her state, considering her condition(s)...

Feeding my Mom Opiates when she is (barely) recovering from a recent prescription medicine addiction didn't make it easier on her either.

So, we've gone through the first round of relic saving & distribution of my Mom's stuff this week. We're gonna quit for now so my D.O.M. Dad doesn't feel like he's being evicted from his own house... After all these years, it's gonna take him a while to adapt to the single life...

I'll miss her. It's been good getting more of a grasp of what made her tick as I go through her old scrap books, writings, & albums.

She was a wild thing, traumatised as a youth, in a world where wild things were penned up & "domesticated". She fought them all the way.

All she really wanted was to express herself, give of herself, have a good time, and be loved for it.

Considering all the scores & scores of people who came to pay her homage, she did pretty damned well, & changed some lives along the way.

Hell, she just wanted to party.

I'll be putting up a bunch of ancient pics I think you'll get a kick out of, or at least find interesting.

I could go on, but I don't have all day. Yet.