Just a taste of what I might be doing working at Acer Computers. ROFL!
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Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
(WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly issues.)
CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 6.66. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and/or performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0. Good Luck!
Tech Support
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Problems with MS Girlfriend 1.0
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I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend and having some problems. I've been running DrinkingBuddies 3.0 all along as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have conflicted with it. I hear the DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you run Girlfriend in background mode with the sound switched off. But I'm embarrassed to say that I can't find the switch to turn it off. I just run them separately, and it works OK.
Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort it with some sort of timing incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance with Girlfriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with Girlfriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn't have enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0 and that eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed Girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it it gave me a virus.
I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while. I very cautiously upgraded to Girlfriend 4.0. This time I installed virus protection. It worked OK for a while until I discovered Girlfriend 1.0 was still in my system! I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still installed, but Girlfriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of Girlfriend 1.0 and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions! The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of Girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I can't understand, much less program in.
Frankly, I think that there is too much attention paid to the look and feel and not enough to the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold plated contacts. And I've never liked how Girlfriend is totally 'object-oriented'. A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of Girfriend to GirlfriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of Girlfriend. He discovered that GirlfriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, you also then have to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a 'huge resource hog'. It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else now.
One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. Well, it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus. And, although he didn't ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Mother-in-Law 6.66 which has an automatic no-warning pop-up feature that he can't turn off. I told him to install Mistress 2.0, but he said that he heard that if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife, then Wife 1.0 will delete all your MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 2.0 won't install anyway due to insufficient resources.
Anybody out there able to offer technical advice.....
=========================================
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
(WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly issues.)
CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 6.66. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and/or performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0. Good Luck!
Tech Support
===========
=========================
Problems with MS Girlfriend 1.0
--------------
I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend and having some problems. I've been running DrinkingBuddies 3.0 all along as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have conflicted with it. I hear the DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you run Girlfriend in background mode with the sound switched off. But I'm embarrassed to say that I can't find the switch to turn it off. I just run them separately, and it works OK.
Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort it with some sort of timing incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance with Girlfriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with Girlfriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn't have enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0 and that eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed Girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it it gave me a virus.
I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while. I very cautiously upgraded to Girlfriend 4.0. This time I installed virus protection. It worked OK for a while until I discovered Girlfriend 1.0 was still in my system! I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still installed, but Girlfriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of Girlfriend 1.0 and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions! The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of Girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I can't understand, much less program in.
Frankly, I think that there is too much attention paid to the look and feel and not enough to the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold plated contacts. And I've never liked how Girlfriend is totally 'object-oriented'. A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of Girfriend to GirlfriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of Girlfriend. He discovered that GirlfriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, you also then have to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a 'huge resource hog'. It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else now.
One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. Well, it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus. And, although he didn't ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Mother-in-Law 6.66 which has an automatic no-warning pop-up feature that he can't turn off. I told him to install Mistress 2.0, but he said that he heard that if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife, then Wife 1.0 will delete all your MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 2.0 won't install anyway due to insufficient resources.
Anybody out there able to offer technical advice.....
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
BTW, that set you did for Coriander came out awesome! Congrats! If I ever get back down to TX I am definitely using you and your skills!
[Edited on May 20, 2006 9:02AM]
Have a great week.
Laters