As I'm discovering more about myself, I'm trying to catch an idea for what I want my life to look like. Long story short, about a year ago my marriage crumbled. Something I thought was rock solid... it turns out... never was. And it got me questioning a LOT of things.
When that rock slide began, my wife had asked me if I had ever heard of being "monogamish." I hadn't, and instead of instantly shutting her down. I wanted to have a think. What did I do? I went for a run, I cleared my head and I looked at her question from many angles.
Now, this whole discussion was brought up because I caught a text message between her and a work friend about her sucking his cock again. BIG RED FLAG. But, being the serious family man (with two children and something I thought we had built together), I wasn't about to throw everything away.
Well we never returned to that conversation because as it turned out he wasn't her only partner and she wasn't intending on communicating clearly. Instead, she self identified as being single and decided she didn't need to inform me.
I know, if that was the SHORT version... can you imagine the full length??
But that whole shit show started a pebble rolling in my mind. As I considered what I wanted my life to look like in the future. Where I went wrong, and what I could learn from this utter soul crushing experience.
I'm still not certain. But I'm getting glimpses. SO. I thought instead of keeping those glimpses in my mind. I might as well share them and see if anyone I know has any experience with this and might illuminate me on how close or far off I am.
I know that I want to be married again. I want my children to have a mother they love and respect, I want them to watch their father commit to a person and mean it. I also... want to share my love with multiple people. Women.
"You mean to tell me, you think you should be able to have sex with whatever women you want and SHE can't have sex with any men she wants?? Isn't that... unfair?" The first comment I heard as I brought this up to a level-headed writer friend.
Is it so wrong to want a woman to share my love with other women? Someone to delight in pleasing other women, in sharing our sexual healing as a couple. To MAYBE someday find another to add to our relationship?
I'm Dominant. I didn't realize it until I met my girlfriend. The way her eyes look up at me as she kneels before me, her spittle dripping from her lips as she eyeballs the bulge along the front of my pants. The way she whimpers when I exact my punishment for her drinking without asking. The way she shudders as I gently trace my nail along her spine. She is MINE. Entirely. And in that, I feel honored. I did not conquer her, I did not capture her. She submitted to me. And that's something you cannot force.
It's true. I've rocked her world in ways she never knew could happen. And I, too, am proud of that. There is nothing quite like knowing you were the LAY OF THE CENTURY for a woman much younger than you after coming out of a marriage where you were seen as week old meatloaf. I'm spicy. I'm hunky. I'm fucking HOT! And I love it!
People watch us in public as we tease and play. More than once we've caught people watching us with a funny look in their eye. I can just imagine the looks we'd get if we added but one more to our group. A second woman, another little. My girls.
Both bad asses who will cut you in a second. But who fully submit to me. Who serve me, and who I humbly serve. Knowing when we get home, the clothes are coming off and we get to fight over who gets the first orgasm. Over who gets to play with whom first.
I can imagine my girlfriend begging me to sit in the chair across the room as she and my other play. Teasingly, undressing on the bed. Kissing, gasping. Biting. Putting on a show for me and delighting in the ever constant growl or groan that escapes my throat as I desire to take them both.
Watching as one spreads her legs, exposing her swollen pussy to the room. I can imagine the smell and taste of her moisture. I long to feel her clit under my tongue, feel her hips buck against my face as I tease her labia with my own lips.
Instead, I sit back and watch as they caress and kiss. Nibble and moan. My thick cock fighting to escape his prison in my jeans. My fingers aching to pull him free and stroke gently, teasingly...
Finally, their hands stretch out to me. And like a hungry tiger, I pounce. Upon them both, I kiss. Bite. Growl. As I enjoy the feast before me, I feel my wife's hands on my shoulders. Her lips along my neck. I feel her hands unleashing my throbbing penis, catching a drop of precum on her finger. Licking it as she lays beside our girlfriend. Kissing her, so that as my tongue glides up her slit as I slyly fly over her clit she groans into my wife's mouth. Her knees clasping down around my ears as her hand struggles to force me down onto her.
The look in my wife's eyes as she unzips her own jeans, releasing her drenched and swollen pussy. Coming to my side, we kiss. Her fingers caressing our girlfriend's thigh as she scoots up onto the bed. My wife follows, her own head draped between her legs. I hear the all too familiar gasp as her tongue finds the fleshy swollen pink clit. Her ass splayed out before me... begging.
Slowly, I slip in behind her. My tip teasing the moisture escaping from her blossomed pussy. Her labia unfolding before me. As I bury an inch inside, she too groans. Her hips stretch, adjusting to allow for the length that is my cock to fully penetrate her. As my hands grip to her waist, my nails digging into her flesh, she pulls up and moans loudly.
Our girlfriend watches from the front as I plunge deeply inside. Her body has been waiting for this all day, it is just the stress relief she's needed after a long day of working horses. Dealing with frustrating clients and accountants. The day's stress is the last thing on her mind. Our girlfriend sits up, taking her nipples into her mouth. She suckles and licks like a good girl. My wife barely able to control herself, being pleasured from both sides.
The cacophony of sound erupts as I thrust deeply. Pulling out that last moment, she erupts all over the bed. The flood of her squirting pussy splashes our girlfriend as she giggles with glee. Her own fingers plunging in and out of her drenched pussy.
Collapsing beside her, my wife turns to watch as I slip inside our girlfriend. Missionary was never quite as fun with anyone else, but after 12 years of marriage, I had learned all the tricks to making it the most exciting position you'd ever experience. Pulling her hips up off the bed, my cock slipping passed her G-Spot we celebrate in the pleasure her body receives. Orgasming almost instantly. Her clit erect and bobbing under her expert fingers. My wife's tongue slipping around her hardened nipple.
Her words had turned into garble as I pummeled her insides. "I'm going to..." was the last I could eek out before pulling out. The tip of my cock erupting as a steady trickle of white hot magma cascaded across my fingers and dripped onto her waiting clitoris. As I collapsed, I watched my beautiful wife dutifully lick each drop from our convulsing girlfriend.
We three kissed passionately, snuggling and giggling. Until at last, my wife ended it, "fuck I gotta piss!" She stood up hobbling across the room leaving our girlfriend and I laughing in the bed.
In the early hours of the morning, I awaken, finding one woman on either side of me. A smile stretches across my face as I feel my heart grow wider. There is no love like the love I have for these two women. They've completed my family and I truly cannot imagine a life without either of them in it. My little girls.
Is that a crazy thing to want? Is it straight out of a porno? I know, I skipped a few steps, and honestly, I can't WAIT for those steps... the courting. The trials. The growth between my girlfriend and my self as we step closer to matrimony. There are a lot of things that can go wrong. And a lot that can end in a horribly fiery blaze. But I hope with full open communication we can create the bond I expect and create a family we can share.
I dunno. Am I crazy?