Long story short, I discovered my life has not been what I thought it was. I discovered a spicy text message between my wife and another man. When I confronted her, she lied... I flew off the rails. In the aftermath, I discovered that it has been going on for a while and she has been done with me for a long while.
I'm torn because the responsible/husband/father side of me wants to fight to keep things together... to work to make us better and to create the life we want. But, part of me recognizes that she hasn't cared for a long time and hasn't been putting in any effort for a while. I don't need to be tied to someone who doesn't want to be an active partner.
Argh! I'm so bad at mind games and I can't help but think that's what she's pulling. I talked to the guy (a fellow photographer) and he said he knew she was definitely acting out. But the anger I've felt from her since then makes me not even want to push it anymore. Our marriage is dead...
My oldest son is aware of everything and is being torn apart... I can't help him. I've tried to keep my answers to his questions so vague as to not make a bad guy out of anyone. I want him to know that we both love him and that's all that matters.
Initially, I was upset because it felt like a betrayal and a loss of something I've cared about for so long. Now, I'm almost excited about creating the life I've been wanting to live for so long. To be healthy, and appreciated. To find love and support.
Where ever you are in your life, know that you are worth it. You deserve love... you deserve acceptance.
