electricmainline

It's amazing the strain we can put on ourselves to avoid shitting in a public bathroom. The pressure that can be applied to the human colon has to have effects later in life. You know, your about to jump on the highway and you feel one coming on. But you tell yourself you can make it home, no problem. Then about halfway there you start squirming a little, all while pinching your cheeks. Ten minutes later the pressure starts to build and you start looking nervously around, pretending you can hack it. Now your squeezing the steering wheel like your about to tear it off the column and your squeezing those cheeks a little harder. Images of babies being born and turtles peeking out of their shell fill your mind. The pain starts shooting up your stomach and you begin yelling at no one but somehow it seems to help a little. You look around the car to see if there's some paper towels or old t-shirts laying around the back seats. Maybe you could just shove them down your pants and shit all over yourself, as long as you can relieve the pressure. But somehow you actually make it home, screaming a little but making it to the toilet. And you can't believe how fucking good you feel now, even though you're totally exhausted.

I hate it when that happens.