First blog homework I have done in awhile. This week's topic from @missy and @rambo is "What are you an expert in?" At first I couldn't think of anything so I was going to skip this one. Then it came to me.
I am an expert bullshitter. Now hear me out. I am a master at coming up with convincing opinions on various subjects without knowing much about them. I never do this with anything serious and usually let people know its pure bullshit at the end. I do this with co-workers all the time. They might ask me a question usually about why we started doing something or changed a process and I will give a long elaborate answer. Then when they give the usual response of "Oh really I didn't know that!" I will give my standard "Acutally I have no idea. But that sounded pretty good didn't it?"
This has come in handy a few times dealing with Patrons at my Library. Usually when it comes to charging them for lost or damaged items. What we do is charge them the cost of what we paid for the item. With DVDs this used to be a major issue. HBO seasons used to cost $60-100 per season (about 6- years ago). Some DVDs we purchased the cost would be higher than the retail price at Amazon or Best Buy, 29.99 as opposed to 19.99 for example. Of course Patron's didn't like hearing the higher price than the retail they had already looked at online. One time a patron was really fighting on paying for the lost/damaged item. I flipped the bullshit switch with the following:
Well the reason our price is higher is due to us being a Library. We can't purchase from regular retailers. We have to purchase our materials from Library vendors to avoid issues with usage rights, etc. With retail the Movie Studios/Publishers have a lower price since they assume the item is being sold to an individual who will share it with their household, meaning that single copy will be viewed by approximately 1-4 people, 8 at most if they have some friends over to watch it. Also it's safe to assume the DVD/Book will be viewed/read probably 25 times or less realistically. Now with a library we might loan that DVD/Book out 200+ times, which is enough to expect that it would prevent some sales to individuals who took the item out from the library. So the higher price is to help off set the losses in retails sales from Libraries' impact on potential purchasers.
/end bullshit
By the end the patron's eyes had glazed over. They came back to reality with the sheepish response of "well I guess that makes sense. I never really thought about that," and proceeded to pay for the item. I went into the staff area and had to re-tell what happened since my supervisor and a couple others wanted to know how I got the person to pay. After I finished my supervisor and a more senior Circ staff member both laughed and said "Well that's not accurate at all really. We can buy from retailers but we don't for various reasons." All I could say well it sounded good and it got the person to pay. As the story was relayed to other members of the Circ staff some of them bought what I told the patron too.
I did that in school all the time as well. One English class freshman year of HS we had a class debate about something related to the novel we had just finished reading. I think it was for or against the statement "Men are Men, and Women are Women." People switched sides over the course of the debate (physically moving and sitting on the other side of the room). At the end I sat by myself on one side. I held my own against the rest of the class with various bullshit and easily demolishing straw man arguments. A good portion even moved over to my side when the Teacher asked if anyone wanted to make one final change with the end of class approaching. At the end of class the Teacher who was also the Teacher in charge of the debate team tried to recruit me to join the debate team. Which I declined that day and several other attempts over the remaining portion of the trimester.
I guess you could also say I am an expert arguer. I can argue about anything (I have been told that it has something to do with being born July 21 which I guess is a cancer but on the cusp of being a Leo. IDK I don't follow that stuff) which many family and friends have turned into a running gag almost. I even have a shirt that says "I disagree" that I purchased with money I won from my Mom for a bet over something we were arguing about.
I could list some other bullshit I could say I am an expert in but after reading all this who knows if anyone would believe or if it would even be true ;)
Cheers,
Dave
