Ventriloquism Stuff; Read at Your Own Risk.
Well it seems that something interesting has happened. I was talking to a buddy of mine at work about rebuilding my ventriloquist dummy. His dad used to be a magician but had a stoke so he is living in a care facility with no short term memory now. He was selling off all of his dad's old props so I figured I'd take a chance and ask if his dad had any ventriloquist related stuff. He said his dad did but it was junk and going to throw it out. I told him that if he was just going to toss it all, I'd be more than happy to take it off his hands. He said that would be find but the dummy he had the jaw didn't work on. Now, I foresee two ways that this could go. The worst case is that the dummy is totally useless but it should still have all of the mechanics, albeit not working, so I can know for sure how to hook up everything. Awesome. The best case is that it's still in good shape and just needs to have the jaw fixed. Again, Awesome. I asked him if it was the standard issue little boy type figure and he said no, he thinks it was an old man or old woman. Awesome for the third time. I have an idea for another character that will require an old man type figure and I am betting that no matter how bad off this dummy is, the head is still salvageable. I can sculpt a head from scratch, make a mold and cast the head myself but:
A. it's a major pain in the ass (the sculpting is fun but the mold making and casting suck)
B. it will cost about $350 just for the materials
C. it will take several weeks to finish
Building a ventriloquist dummy from scratch isn't for the casual craftsman. Eventually I will have to create custom dummies but I don't have the time or spare cash right now. If I start seriously performing again then I will make the time and find the money. Until that happens I'll just use what I have. One thing I have decided, I am never buying another kit head from this place again. The other parts are great; I'm just not a big fan of their heads. There are a couple of soft dummy (aka puppets) that won't be that bad to make from scratch so I'll at least start the design process with them (yes, I can sew
). There is one bright side to making the custom dummies; all I have to do is make new heads. I can still use the old bodies.
I'm not a big fan of using anything stock at all, especially jokes. There is one thing I'd like to say to just about every ventriloquist on earth, WRITE YOUR OWN FUCKING JOKES! Don't go through kids joke books, don't use other people's scripts you downloaded from the net or got out of books, don't be content in wallowing in mediocrity for Christ's sake! It's the same way with magicians, only ventriloquists are far worse offenders. This is the main reason that ventriloquism and magic are usually relegated to the duty of children's entertainment. Take pride in what you do! If you want to see a great ventriloquist, take a look at Jeff Dunham, the guy's fantastic (and holds the same gripe about ventriloquists not writing good material). I dare you to watch him and Walter or Achmed the Dead Terrorist and not laugh.
Of course I have to go back to doing the real fun part, writing. I lost every act I had in a hard drive failure about five years ago and haven't been able to rewrite everything yet. I have bits and pieces so far but I haven't put a dent in rewriting what I lost. Oh well, at least there is a good side to it, it forces me to exercise my creativity again. Hurray for the silver lining. If I am going to do this I plan on doing it right so this is probably going to take up a lot of time and if anyone is interested I'll be more than happy to post my progress. OK, I'll probably do it anyway.
Well it seems that something interesting has happened. I was talking to a buddy of mine at work about rebuilding my ventriloquist dummy. His dad used to be a magician but had a stoke so he is living in a care facility with no short term memory now. He was selling off all of his dad's old props so I figured I'd take a chance and ask if his dad had any ventriloquist related stuff. He said his dad did but it was junk and going to throw it out. I told him that if he was just going to toss it all, I'd be more than happy to take it off his hands. He said that would be find but the dummy he had the jaw didn't work on. Now, I foresee two ways that this could go. The worst case is that the dummy is totally useless but it should still have all of the mechanics, albeit not working, so I can know for sure how to hook up everything. Awesome. The best case is that it's still in good shape and just needs to have the jaw fixed. Again, Awesome. I asked him if it was the standard issue little boy type figure and he said no, he thinks it was an old man or old woman. Awesome for the third time. I have an idea for another character that will require an old man type figure and I am betting that no matter how bad off this dummy is, the head is still salvageable. I can sculpt a head from scratch, make a mold and cast the head myself but:
A. it's a major pain in the ass (the sculpting is fun but the mold making and casting suck)
B. it will cost about $350 just for the materials
C. it will take several weeks to finish
Building a ventriloquist dummy from scratch isn't for the casual craftsman. Eventually I will have to create custom dummies but I don't have the time or spare cash right now. If I start seriously performing again then I will make the time and find the money. Until that happens I'll just use what I have. One thing I have decided, I am never buying another kit head from this place again. The other parts are great; I'm just not a big fan of their heads. There are a couple of soft dummy (aka puppets) that won't be that bad to make from scratch so I'll at least start the design process with them (yes, I can sew
). There is one bright side to making the custom dummies; all I have to do is make new heads. I can still use the old bodies.
I'm not a big fan of using anything stock at all, especially jokes. There is one thing I'd like to say to just about every ventriloquist on earth, WRITE YOUR OWN FUCKING JOKES! Don't go through kids joke books, don't use other people's scripts you downloaded from the net or got out of books, don't be content in wallowing in mediocrity for Christ's sake! It's the same way with magicians, only ventriloquists are far worse offenders. This is the main reason that ventriloquism and magic are usually relegated to the duty of children's entertainment. Take pride in what you do! If you want to see a great ventriloquist, take a look at Jeff Dunham, the guy's fantastic (and holds the same gripe about ventriloquists not writing good material). I dare you to watch him and Walter or Achmed the Dead Terrorist and not laugh.
Of course I have to go back to doing the real fun part, writing. I lost every act I had in a hard drive failure about five years ago and haven't been able to rewrite everything yet. I have bits and pieces so far but I haven't put a dent in rewriting what I lost. Oh well, at least there is a good side to it, it forces me to exercise my creativity again. Hurray for the silver lining. If I am going to do this I plan on doing it right so this is probably going to take up a lot of time and if anyone is interested I'll be more than happy to post my progress. OK, I'll probably do it anyway.