el_cu_cuy

still waiting for things to fall into place.

lately, i have been very irritable. i dont know what is causing it but i think its the lack of positivity around me. for the past week or so there has been a lot of stress, frustration, and anger. most of the anger itself seems to have been directed at me. which sucks. i might sound crazy saying this but even halo 2 isnt curing the itch. i mean, i like halo and all but i dont worship it like some people do, i suppose. i guess i'm not that big on FPS.

so, here i am. sitting at home in my apartment...in my room. staring at the halo 2 main menu screen listening to the intro over and over and over...

its approximately ten o clock. i am somewhat tired but i feel like getting up and doing something. its crossed my mind that maybe i should use some of the amnities of this apartment complex and actually go use the 24 hour fitness center in the main clubhouse. eh..who knows. i might put some music on my mp3 and head up in that direction...seeing as its raining and all.

i actually love the rain. it just seems like it brings a lot of tranquility. when no one else wants to get out of the house to travel because 'its raining cats and dogs', i am outside enjoying the peace and enticing sense of balance.

*grumbles...

i miss a lot of things....a lot of people. i know theres something wrong when everything goes right. i just wish that i could feel some sort of balance. this rain seems to be the only calm sense i have had lately.


someone help me feel real again before i go numb.