eisdamme

I'm in the process of archiving many dreams for my umarchives. And I came across this gem. Typical me-dream. In lieu of a real update, I bring you this:

ENJOY THE CRAZY!

It begins in the living room of my mother's old house, with me sitting on the loveseat beside her. She must be dead and I don't realise this, because I am telling her that I am going to ask Deanna (my mother's very close friend) for my mother's wedding dress so that I can dye it red. I have already dyed her veil red, and would like to create something really beautiful from her dress. (Deanna has many of my mother's things in a sort of temporary *storage* ) Then I look in my lap and I am holding the dress, only it is black and gold rather than white and blue, and my mother is telling me that I cannot have it, even though, in life, she had told me that I *could* have it to wear.

And suddenly I find myself in the mall with old friends I have either never seen, or just never speak to, Michael Darling and Jen Wiseman. I am hiding in the dress section, underneath the racks, desperately afraid, yet not sure why.

And as dreams often do, the imagery shifts, and I am now riding in a car with a red-haired girl. Her hair glows and is the colour of blood. We drive to the cemetery, and walk through it silently, coming upon a playground in its centre, where we kiss and admire one another's dresses.

I am swinging, then, swinging on a rail over a cement wall where Lindsey Buckingham is teaching me how to balance upon said rail while dancing. He holds a cane and I view his likeness in a television monitor, all the while looking off to my left, where Stevie Nicks sings. She pauses, mid-note, to speak to her drummer, not Mick Fleetwood, (as one would have expected, given that half of Fleetwood Mac is already present) but a woman who resembles Julia Roberts. Stevie discusses divorce with this woman, who listens as she drums, and Stevie cautions her not to "get taken for more than she's worth". The drummer nods and sings, and in my dream again I ponder her resemblance to Julia Roberts, noting that if only her eyes were closer together she would be identical to the actress.

The Frightened People. That is how I think of them in that dream-thought, that state of half-consciousness where one is aware of events, yet fails to realise they are dreaming. I am not a lucid dreamer, usually. The Frightened People change faces often, and it is hard to look at them for long. The make me dizzy. With them is the Screaming Woman, running through my mother's house, nervous, pausing to grab one of the Frightened People, shake them, and scream. Again we are in my mother's house, though in the dream it is as if we never left, and that anything outside of this house had been a daydream.

I am in my mother's house with them, still. I shout the words as I see them in my head, along with the Men With Borrowed Candles. The Men are whirling, whirling in my mind in perfect synchronicity, like dervishes, and Aleister Crowley is smiling somewhere. I know this. Each incantation that I shouted ended with the word 'Zomelak!' and i thought my voice would crack the skies, and each time I repeated 'Zomelak!' a drawer would open or shut, or a door would do the same. I knew I could move objects with my mind. The Frightened People sat, stunned as I walked through the window and out of the house, spinning round on the grass, laughing. I caught up my skirts in my hand---they were purple taffeta, and my boots were velvet. (I believe this is the first time I have ever worn clothing that I own and can identify as such, in a dream. Weird.) The Frightened People went across the street and into our neighbors, Penny and Dennis', house, which was for sale. We went in and found that the rent was $650 a month. (?) There was carved, cherry furniture inside, so ornate and intricate, a bar, a desk, and an abundance of tile and stone. I remember carved lions as well. The backyard was a garden that needed a tiny bit of work---and there were two greyish white horses behind the fence.

Then the Lions came. There were three, and they had human faces. Its consciousness was One but it had split into Three and it taunted. It wanted to kill.

We fled inside and it thought that it had us trapped, but the house became bigger. The bedrooms were huge. A sword hung over the front door, crossways, and I suddenly realized that all events preceding this were a dream. One room had a pink floor and a silver record player adorned with perching cupids. Stevie Nicks' voice recited Current '93 Lyrics in this order:

"It's hard to keep riding when your eyes fill with blood,
you think it's a game
but the game is just you
when shall you stop hiding in the heart of your night
when the cold trapway beckons
when the cold trapway stops
and Christ i was thinking of your bended arm
it's blue on the inside
it's blue on the outside
you said and then buckled as if you might die"

I knew the Frightened people were now Thorin and John, and that they wanted the house. The Screaming, woman became The Frantic Woman, and she sobbed, disappearing through walls. I carried two little children ( a boy and a girl) into the town and chanted. My voice did crack the sky and the Lion turned into a man. The child became well again and aged within my sight. He resembled Don Knotts, and walked into the house again---and I knew him to be a part of the Lion. I went outside to slay the digs with the sword that hung above the door; repeating and safe in the knowledge that wishing *always* came true.

My words killed them. And then my hair turned white. I wished it wine red. I wished for 'two husbands for the Queen' (who was now the red headed woman I'd previously possessed...she looked like Kim Sharpe and Stevie Nicks.) One husband was seventeen, and I willed them both to accept her. The Queen smiled.

I asked her which husband she preferred having sex with, but couldn't be bothered to listen to her answer. She formed words, describing both of them with music, and I skipped away on stones. I was Susan now. I hung the sword back up and remarked how curious it was that it had always been there. I told the children about saving their lives and went outside to sit high in the branches of the Great Tree. It was huge and I was no longer afraid of heights. I watched my feet dangle and saw that my skirt was cobalt blue and sparkling, beautiful.

I call (and called) this shade 'Susan Blue', and in the dream I knew of someone named 'Cobalt' and i said hello to the fabric---knowing it was a portal and a mirror of some sorts, and that the real 'Cobalt' could hear me. Then I sat in the tree and remembered *being* in the body of the Queen/Sorceress. I watched the peacocks wander by and became sickly aware that it was time for the violence to begin. I watched the sky to see the colour of impending bloodshed.

I wanted to wait for Sterling but I knew the digs were about to come so I slipped down from the tree and ran across the gardens and up the stairs. My cat in waking life, also named Susan, was there---I called for her to come before the dogs arrived.

I knocked on the door and Susan's father answered. I knew this was now the beginning of the story because Susan's parents are dead when my novel starts, and he let me in. I kept calling to the cat but then I heard the snarling. The shadow encroached and I knelt, calling. The cat almost came to me and I saw one of the dogs' heads enter my field of frame---it was rabid, hideous and frothy with blood. It was also smiling. Susan's father said he would stare into its face but I couldn't. He told me to shut the door. Angrily and numbly I did, and heard the cat shrieking. In my head I wished that someone would shoot it rather than let it get torn by the dogs. Then I heard gun shots. I had a pistol somewhere, and I knew that one of the dogs was dead. Then my mother showed me a tarot full of pictures of Giants, and even the babies were huge. Then the tarot was full of all of the people I have ever known that had died, and I began describing decks of tarot to my mother, and I was back at the beginning of the dream, holding her wedding dress, but I was still Susan.

This made me incredibly happy when I woke up.