"EITHER WE GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS OR . . ."
The band Kai Kln has been a staple of the Sacramento music scene for almost 20 years. They have failed to achieve success beyond the greater Sacramento area as bands like Cake, the Deftones or Mother Hips have been able to in limited exposure. The Sacramento music scene has died a horrible death and bands like Kai Kln are all what remain of the hope for a solid foundation for future bands to ween on their success and are rather a reminder what might have been. Soundgarden would be a band of a similar sound and style to Kai Kln - lacking the vocal abilities of Chris Cornell. Soundgarden, too, could be considered similar in that they were eclipsed by other bands of the Seattle area - Pearl Jam, Nirvana, the Smashing Pumpkins and even Alice in Chains. Tonight Kai Kln was the featured act in the Free Concert in the Park a summer series of local bands and performers.
I had planned to attend the event based on the "free", "music" and girls wearing summer dresses aspect as well as hopefully bumping into friends I had not seen since last summer in Cesar Chavez Park. The ulterior motive was more suspect and was due to be emotional, searching and a possibility to be downright physically painful.
Kai Kln was the favorite band of Christian Silvera Wilford, the brother of my 2nd girlfriend. I think it's best to discuss relationships and the eternal when is someone a boyfriend/girlfriend for another time. Chris was 12 days older than me also with brown hair and brown eyes. He was also over six feet tall and had a finally honed sense of humor and mannerisms that matched my own. Down to similar food issues and an apprehensive approach to social settings.
As parents it's hard to imagine any pair to be more cool than Bud and Cindy. They were high school sweethearts and Alison and Chris were a reflection of their closeness. As much time as I spent with the family I never heard a raised voice or stern word directed toward each other. Often family discussions surrounded the effectiveness of Zoloft versus the side effects of Prozac and Lithium. A family that had mental health behaviors in common but did not blame each other for the manifestation of those eventual problems and difficulties.
Chris drowned in a hiking accident on the upper arm of the American River in the first year of my relationship with Alison. When Chris died I instantly became a replacement as a brother and a son. Not an unfair assessment but a little creepy with the whole incest inference.
Wandering around to the front of the stage I scanned the littering of blankets and lawn chairs for Bud's bald head. I had no inclination that they would attend the concert. But a logical hunch led me to look for them. They are (or were, I no longer know for sure) state employees. Bud working at the Department of Justice and Cindy for a department in midtown. Living in Placerville it was often their modus operandi to linger behind and wait out traffic for that deadly commute.
I spotted Bud. Easy enough when you hone the search to a game of "Almost Famous", the game were you notice a crowd of people and try to stretch their appearance to a celebrity. Salt and pepper beard equals Kenny Rogers while a bad hairpiece might mean Ted Koppel. Bud was a close knock off of Sean Connery. He stills does resemble the better of all the Bonds. But he and Cindy both looked drained. Probably the term to use is older. But also the sun was lowering and had obviously been slowly baking them into a sweaty pulp. I lingered for a few moments without any idea of how to proceed. I tried to inch toward their peripheral vision.
My thought was that I shouldn't impose. I thought of what their emotions might be in the situation. The sight of someone who might resemble the son they lost and in another way, lost again. The guy that broke their daughter's heart as he was expected to marry her and produce offspring and continue to grow the family bond. The metronome of thoughts and possible outcomes in approaching Bud and Cindy varied between a grumbled acknowledgment, hearty handshake, punch in the face and/or gut or perhaps a bear hug from Bud. My hope was for the bear hug. Failing that a sincere smile.
I decided to collect my thoughts and maybe grab something to drink for them as I didn't see anything in their reach around the lawn chairs they occupied. I made a lap and bumped into a friend. I spoke to her briefly. And went back toward the front of the stage. Bud and Cindy were gone. I thought perhaps they moved out of the sun and spent the next hour looking for them. I couldn't spot them and hopefully it was in large part to my tunnel vision not otherwise.
One of the best memories of spending so much time with Alison and her parents was the trip to Disneyland at Thanksgiving. It was my suggestion for Disneyland a few months after Chris died. The smattering of conversations leading up top the holiday had Bud and Cindy debating the excuses they wanted at the ready to fend off the extended family, which for the most part they kept at bay. The fear was that they would want to invade the tight circle of connection that Alison, Bud and Cindy had grown to tighten and tighten as time went on. Disneyland seemed far enough away from reality and might help pass the holiday without incident.
Alison and I had visited Disneyland that summer and the previous summer while we stayed at the family condo at Pacific Beach (down 505 in San Diego). Bud was geared up after hearing Alison and I rave about the very best thing about Disneyland - the county fair corn dogs tucked a way in a corner off Main Street. They were the best deal in the park as you got a bag of chips and a medium Sprite, specifically as Sprite for just $3.50. The corn dogs were worth the incredulous price of admission and a token thumbing of the nose of the $6.50 hamburger and $8.00 chicken sandwich the park pushed at most of the other eateries in their concentration fun park. The corn dogs didn't disappoint from what I remember but our trip as a whole was very subdued in a larger sense.
After my search in vain I relented and decided to leave. I stopped and stood in line at one of the food vendors. I wrote a letter in my head to the Wilford's. Often the letter writing campaigns in my head rarely make it to their intended recipient. For good or ill if they do or don not is enough to bore all of us to no end. Walking away with three corn dogs in hand I resolved to write and send a letter to the Wilford's. Just a note mentioning that I saw them there but I didn't know what the reaction might be and did not want to disturb them at a time that might otherwise be caught up in remembrance of their son. The corn dogs weren't as good as the corn dogs at Disneyland. But I don't think they were meant to be replacements. It's hard to live up to something so far removed from context and heightened expectations.
I'm heading to the post office.
NOTE: There is a lot I can splice in there but I gave you a shortened version for the sake of time. I might go back and add some examples and stuff that happened to better develop the situation and explore the gravity of the situation. Maybe I'll do that on SLS or SG.
2nd Saturday Art walk in Midtown. Be there or kindly be four-sided. Square, rhombus, rectangle. . .
The band Kai Kln has been a staple of the Sacramento music scene for almost 20 years. They have failed to achieve success beyond the greater Sacramento area as bands like Cake, the Deftones or Mother Hips have been able to in limited exposure. The Sacramento music scene has died a horrible death and bands like Kai Kln are all what remain of the hope for a solid foundation for future bands to ween on their success and are rather a reminder what might have been. Soundgarden would be a band of a similar sound and style to Kai Kln - lacking the vocal abilities of Chris Cornell. Soundgarden, too, could be considered similar in that they were eclipsed by other bands of the Seattle area - Pearl Jam, Nirvana, the Smashing Pumpkins and even Alice in Chains. Tonight Kai Kln was the featured act in the Free Concert in the Park a summer series of local bands and performers.
I had planned to attend the event based on the "free", "music" and girls wearing summer dresses aspect as well as hopefully bumping into friends I had not seen since last summer in Cesar Chavez Park. The ulterior motive was more suspect and was due to be emotional, searching and a possibility to be downright physically painful.
Kai Kln was the favorite band of Christian Silvera Wilford, the brother of my 2nd girlfriend. I think it's best to discuss relationships and the eternal when is someone a boyfriend/girlfriend for another time. Chris was 12 days older than me also with brown hair and brown eyes. He was also over six feet tall and had a finally honed sense of humor and mannerisms that matched my own. Down to similar food issues and an apprehensive approach to social settings.
As parents it's hard to imagine any pair to be more cool than Bud and Cindy. They were high school sweethearts and Alison and Chris were a reflection of their closeness. As much time as I spent with the family I never heard a raised voice or stern word directed toward each other. Often family discussions surrounded the effectiveness of Zoloft versus the side effects of Prozac and Lithium. A family that had mental health behaviors in common but did not blame each other for the manifestation of those eventual problems and difficulties.
Chris drowned in a hiking accident on the upper arm of the American River in the first year of my relationship with Alison. When Chris died I instantly became a replacement as a brother and a son. Not an unfair assessment but a little creepy with the whole incest inference.
Wandering around to the front of the stage I scanned the littering of blankets and lawn chairs for Bud's bald head. I had no inclination that they would attend the concert. But a logical hunch led me to look for them. They are (or were, I no longer know for sure) state employees. Bud working at the Department of Justice and Cindy for a department in midtown. Living in Placerville it was often their modus operandi to linger behind and wait out traffic for that deadly commute.
I spotted Bud. Easy enough when you hone the search to a game of "Almost Famous", the game were you notice a crowd of people and try to stretch their appearance to a celebrity. Salt and pepper beard equals Kenny Rogers while a bad hairpiece might mean Ted Koppel. Bud was a close knock off of Sean Connery. He stills does resemble the better of all the Bonds. But he and Cindy both looked drained. Probably the term to use is older. But also the sun was lowering and had obviously been slowly baking them into a sweaty pulp. I lingered for a few moments without any idea of how to proceed. I tried to inch toward their peripheral vision.
My thought was that I shouldn't impose. I thought of what their emotions might be in the situation. The sight of someone who might resemble the son they lost and in another way, lost again. The guy that broke their daughter's heart as he was expected to marry her and produce offspring and continue to grow the family bond. The metronome of thoughts and possible outcomes in approaching Bud and Cindy varied between a grumbled acknowledgment, hearty handshake, punch in the face and/or gut or perhaps a bear hug from Bud. My hope was for the bear hug. Failing that a sincere smile.
I decided to collect my thoughts and maybe grab something to drink for them as I didn't see anything in their reach around the lawn chairs they occupied. I made a lap and bumped into a friend. I spoke to her briefly. And went back toward the front of the stage. Bud and Cindy were gone. I thought perhaps they moved out of the sun and spent the next hour looking for them. I couldn't spot them and hopefully it was in large part to my tunnel vision not otherwise.
One of the best memories of spending so much time with Alison and her parents was the trip to Disneyland at Thanksgiving. It was my suggestion for Disneyland a few months after Chris died. The smattering of conversations leading up top the holiday had Bud and Cindy debating the excuses they wanted at the ready to fend off the extended family, which for the most part they kept at bay. The fear was that they would want to invade the tight circle of connection that Alison, Bud and Cindy had grown to tighten and tighten as time went on. Disneyland seemed far enough away from reality and might help pass the holiday without incident.
Alison and I had visited Disneyland that summer and the previous summer while we stayed at the family condo at Pacific Beach (down 505 in San Diego). Bud was geared up after hearing Alison and I rave about the very best thing about Disneyland - the county fair corn dogs tucked a way in a corner off Main Street. They were the best deal in the park as you got a bag of chips and a medium Sprite, specifically as Sprite for just $3.50. The corn dogs were worth the incredulous price of admission and a token thumbing of the nose of the $6.50 hamburger and $8.00 chicken sandwich the park pushed at most of the other eateries in their concentration fun park. The corn dogs didn't disappoint from what I remember but our trip as a whole was very subdued in a larger sense.
After my search in vain I relented and decided to leave. I stopped and stood in line at one of the food vendors. I wrote a letter in my head to the Wilford's. Often the letter writing campaigns in my head rarely make it to their intended recipient. For good or ill if they do or don not is enough to bore all of us to no end. Walking away with three corn dogs in hand I resolved to write and send a letter to the Wilford's. Just a note mentioning that I saw them there but I didn't know what the reaction might be and did not want to disturb them at a time that might otherwise be caught up in remembrance of their son. The corn dogs weren't as good as the corn dogs at Disneyland. But I don't think they were meant to be replacements. It's hard to live up to something so far removed from context and heightened expectations.
I'm heading to the post office.
NOTE: There is a lot I can splice in there but I gave you a shortened version for the sake of time. I might go back and add some examples and stuff that happened to better develop the situation and explore the gravity of the situation. Maybe I'll do that on SLS or SG.
2nd Saturday Art walk in Midtown. Be there or kindly be four-sided. Square, rhombus, rectangle. . .