Hey everyone,
I know I haven't kept up with my blog but hopefully this update is a first in many more blogs to come, who knows where this will lead! Anyway, I hope everyone is doing alright and enjoying the fall season! I love the fall season and I have to say, it's beautiful outside with the leaves changing colors and falling.
I'm still making progress in continuing my studies at RIT and I hope to graduate within the next year or two with a major in Chemistry. Although, things have been difficult for me due to my on going health issues. I know some of you know about my long history of lung collapses since I was 16 but some may not.
So, I'll give a brief explanation on whats going on with my health and etc. My lung issues started when I was about 16 with both of my lung collapsing more than 50% randomly. As a result of that, I was hospitalized for over two weeks with chest tubes and sent home with the usually, "Oh don't worry about your lungs collapsing again, it shouldn't happen again". However, over the course of the next 4-5 years, my lungs continue to collapse despite the numerous chest tubes, talc treatment, and finally 4 major lung surgeries called VATS. Granted, the VATS surgeries I had done at the mayo clinic did prevent my lung from collapsing beyond 5-10%, which is a success in my book.
Over all, I have had over 16 lung collapses over the course of those years and even to this day, I continue to have minor lung collapses. Some of you may be wondering why is this happening? Well, for starters it's because of a connective tissue disorder called "birth-hogg-dupe Syndrome which causes proteins to not fully form correctly and as a result, it forms blelbs within the lungs that pop and release air into the lung cavity. This is what a lung collapse is, it's when air leaks into the chest cavity and the pressure pushes the lung down. However, while these blelbs are frustrating the treatment I have had has worked at preventing my lungs from collapsing beyond 10%. In medical terms, if you have a lung collapse that is 10% or less then they will most likely not put a chest tube in due to the lung collapse resolving itself over time. This is the case with all of my minor collapses, and while it sucks to have a lung collapse period, I'm happy that I don't need a chest tube to resolve it. Chest tubes are the worse!
However, after all of the treatments I have had, I started to have chronic pain issues and have been having serve chronic pain issues since my last major lung surgery. As a result, I have to see a pain management doctor and have been on pain medications for the last 4-5 years to help deal with the pain and to actually live a some what normal life. Which I'm doing by the way, by going to collage and earning a degree I enjoy and love.
Some of you may wonder how I'm able to cope with all of the health issues and how I have been able to manage being on pain killers for the last 4-5 years without becoming a full blown addict. For starters, you can do anything you put your mind up to and I was servery depressed for 8 years until I finally forced myself out of my parents house and to live out of state while going to college. I have to say, it was one of the best choices I have ever made. I knew that if I stayed at home with my parents that I would never change my negative thinking and that I would continue to be depressed and have suicide thoughts. It was only when O forced myself to live on my own with my parents help that I started to see major changes in my depression. I started to improve because I was doing things during the day that actually took up my time and therefore prevented me from sitting at home and thinking negatively all the time.
I have found that once you have started to do activities, whatever they may be that it starts to take your mind off being so depressed and thinking negatively. Don't get me wrong, it took 1-2 years of trying to live as active as I could, doing everything myself, cooking, shopping, living on my own, working and college. But over time, you come to realize that you're no longer dwelling on being so depressed and that you are actively trying to improve your life by moving forward in life. That's how I have been able to get ahead of my depression and continue my studies at college.
Granted, still having health issues still affects me greatly and I do worry about having to stay on pain killers for the rest of my life. The way I have been able to manage from becoming a full blown addict is by sticking to the correct dose ( even if it got me high at times ), and never increasing the dose higher and higher. To be honest, pain killers themselves aren't harmful if used correctly and most people become addicted to them by taking more than they should. If you start to use more than you should, then you really should let your doctor know so that they can help you. There's a big difference between being depended on pain killers vs being an addict. Am I depended on pain killers? Yes, my body is depended on pain killers and I would go into full blown withdraw if I stopped taking them.
However, if you truly do follow your doctors advise and continue to take them as prescribed then it's very unlikely that you will become an addict. Which is why I have been able to manage my chronic pain issues for the last 4-5 years and while making progress in life. If you truly set your mind to it, you can skies the limit with what you can achieve in life and accomplish. And that's the way everyone should try to live life.
While I will always have to continue looking after my health as my connective tissue disorder tends to spread as I get older to other body parts. I currently go for 6 month full upper body MRI's to check for tumors or cancer in the liver, colon, kidneys and so on. Despite this health risk, I continue to strive mys best to make progress in my life and while I do have set backs here and there, things can only move forward in life and it's ultimately up to you about whether or not you want to keep trying your best to make your life as happy as possible despite the bad things in life.
I have friends who I can count on when I need someone to talk to, and family of course. As long as you have a good support system, friends or even someone you met online who you feel comfortable talking to, then use those resources as often as you have to. There's no harm in asking for help if you're struggling and I have been there many times. Ultimately, I can promise you that you will over come the difficult things that may be going on in your life and that you will feel better once you make progress and start getting beyond those issues.
Lastly, I want to thank those of you who took the time to read my personal blog and that I'm here for all of you. Feel free to message me if you need a friend to talk to, if you just want to talk or chat about anything.g I'm here for y9ou and I can relate to a lot of things that most people can't these days. I know how hard it can be trying to talk to people who don't truly understand what you're going through. There' nothing wrong with letting someone help you but I have always found that it helps the most when you can talk to someone who can relate strongly with you about those difficulties. So please don't feel afraid to message me, I'm here for you!
Sincerely,
Jon