eidolon

Today has been one of those days that seemed really busy, though I didn't actually do much.

I woke up to a phone call from an X. It looks like I'm gonna be going out to Portland to visit her and her fiance in the next month or so. It'll be my first time there and the first time I've seen her since they got engaged. Travel form Chicago is irratonally cheap, and I've got the time. We've been in close contact ever since she moved west, and I'm really looking forward to seeing her. I've only met the fiance once, but he just seemed so perfect for her that jealousy wasn't an option.

If you love someone, then you know that they were never yours to set free. I'm honestly proud that she's the one who got away. Everyone should be so lucky. She's got about a 2 hour walk to work in the morning and we've taken to talking during that time. Truth be told, it feels like old times. It'll be really nice to be able to take that walk with her soon and then knock around Portland during the day. If I manage to see a couple museums or galleries and have a few espressos, the trip will be a resounding success. Will I look for SGs? No offense, but definitely not. You all probably have enough creeps stopping you on the street and leering.

I'm over it.

I went to the gym and kicked my ass around for a while. I wish that I could get some kind of cardio work in, but it'll probably be another week before the frenum is in good enough shape to handle that kind of repetitive motion. So, this has been a week of nothin but arms, chest and back. Honestly, I feel like one of those guys from Express for Men who go to the gym for cosmetic reasons rather than actual health. Its a waste, but it beats breaking the routine. Break out the hair gel, boys, I'm coming in!

Then, I had my 1st appointment with a new Dr. There are things in my life that have just been wrong for the last year or so. Some of you know already, but my dad died suddenly last summer. I've spent the last year trying to tough it out, myself, and try to get my head back on straight, but that just hasn't gone according to plan.

Plan?
Exactly.

Hopefully something good will come of this. It isn't gonna make things worse, thats for sure. Still, it's always daunting and a bit humbling to expose certain vulnerabilities to a strange little troll of a man, and paying him for the opportunity, no less.

So, if it goes well (it's fair to say that I have a habit of making therapists earn their money) I'll get a little focus or direction. I havent' been able to set any real goals or look foreward in my life for the last year, and it's high time I break out of that.

One of the kind souls in my life just sent me some new music, which is always welcome and apreciated. She just seems to know my taste far too well. There's nothing quite like hearing a band for the 1st time and feeling like you've known them for years.

Sunday, I have to pay the ultimate price. I have to go to South Bend, Indiana. That's right. Notre Dame country. If I had a nemesis, it would be football. College football specifically, and I'm going to the Mecca of College football. It shouldn't be too bad, though. I'll probably only be there for an hour or so, and I'll be leaving with my new car. Hopefully that will cushion the blow, if only somewhat.

Tomorrow may bring another tattoo or 2. We'll see what the day brings. I talked to one of my artists last night, and if he's got the time, then I've got the inclination. He hasn't really charged me in months, so I only get work done between walk-ins. I'm probably trying to wash the bad taste of last week's failed venture in nouveau out of my mouth. Yeah, I'm hooked, and I've got so many that one or two more just won't make any difference. I'm leaning towards a couple of words in a classic tattoo script inside my right forearm, but I don't know any better than any of you what I'll come home with.

The last couple of weeks on the site have been cool for me. While Al has been leading a smear campaign against me from her seat of inscrutable power (some would be honored, I've almost quit the site), I've managed to meet a couple of potentially wonderful people. See, if you hang out around here for long enough, you'll eventually work your way past all the dick and fart jokes and through all the stunted, cowardly sniping. When that happens, the wise and decent folk rise to the top. I was about to disappear from these parts. I'm glad I didn't.

I'm not gonna spoil it by naming names, but I think you know who you are.