You've got to be the goddess gleaned from honesty and honor,
The modest queen who haunts the dreams of common thieves and squatters,
I remember when you entered into conscious memories;
Like a winter wind, you tensed my skin and frosted strength in me.
But even then, a gentle sense attempted to extend to me
The whim that I had spent some time before in your December breeze.
Your freckled eyes met with mine and netted my attention;
I recognized your step but I was new to your reflection.
My shyness turned to "Hi," before my high turned into love,
And when you loved me, I discovered what it was I knew you from.
When the moon was young I used to fly above Black Forest trees
To view a centaur beauty grooming. You were her, and now I see.
But dawn has leaked and thawed the sleep I thought would keep you hostage.
As Oz retreats I yawn and see your calmly breathing body.
-------------------------
Thanks for the props on the last one, guys. I wrote this one for my girlfriend to give her on Valentine's Day (we actually do it on the 13th because we're rebels). So, after about 18 months (I did the math wrong) of not writing, I have two decent ones written in a month. I'm proud of myself, but it's on top of everything else I'm doing so...yeah...
Any critiques/comments would be appreciated.
The modest queen who haunts the dreams of common thieves and squatters,
I remember when you entered into conscious memories;
Like a winter wind, you tensed my skin and frosted strength in me.
But even then, a gentle sense attempted to extend to me
The whim that I had spent some time before in your December breeze.
Your freckled eyes met with mine and netted my attention;
I recognized your step but I was new to your reflection.
My shyness turned to "Hi," before my high turned into love,
And when you loved me, I discovered what it was I knew you from.
When the moon was young I used to fly above Black Forest trees
To view a centaur beauty grooming. You were her, and now I see.
But dawn has leaked and thawed the sleep I thought would keep you hostage.
As Oz retreats I yawn and see your calmly breathing body.
-------------------------
Thanks for the props on the last one, guys. I wrote this one for my girlfriend to give her on Valentine's Day (we actually do it on the 13th because we're rebels). So, after about 18 months (I did the math wrong) of not writing, I have two decent ones written in a month. I'm proud of myself, but it's on top of everything else I'm doing so...yeah...
Any critiques/comments would be appreciated.
P.S.
I love this poem. I usually don't like poetry, which is something I didn't even realize about myself until recently. I thought I enjoyed poetry. Perhaps there just isn't much poetry that interests me?
I love this poem. Fabulous!