effortlessxgrace

01.12.2006

So...
WE MADE IT HERE!

After a couple of random road obstacles we finally got here...
In D.C. we hit traffic for about 20 minutes.
Somewhere in Virginia, near Kings Dominion, one of the tires on the trailor shredded.
So we pulled over into a gas station/ truck stop and called the Budget Truck people, and Jay was on the phone with them for what seemed like forever, but in reality it was only 30 minutes or so.
After all of that, we were told we would have to wait for a hour and a half for the guy with the tire.
That slowed us down a bit, because sitting around inside the exxon listening to bad 70's music got us all tired and such.
So, when we did start going again, we had to pullover into a closed gas station near a brightly-lit Mcdonalds [which was distracting to me] and try and take a nap.
A hour later when we woke up, frozen in place from sleeping inside the truck, we started on the road again.
Except I had to pee,really bad, so we went down like 3 exits trying to find a bathroom, and we finally found one about 30 minutes later at another truck stop.
Where we both decided we were tired.
We decided to get a hotel room, in North Carolina.
7 hours later, we "woke up with the King" [haha, burger king]
And headed out...
Our next stop for gas and a smoke and a hug and all that stuff was at South of the Border [SC].
[oh my heavens, it was so lonely cause we were in seperate cars and such]
I got some yummy sun drop, but I had to pee halfway thru the state, but we couldnt stop we said we werent going to stop again until Georgia.
...so I had to hold it. haha.
Somewhere in Georgia, we stopped at a gas station and got some Quizno's.
After that we once again agreed that we weren't stopping until we got home this time.

And we are here...home.


When we left, I was sitting in the car and getting ready to pull out of the driveway I started crying, and then I called Katy, cause I needed to talk to someone.
I spent the first 20-30 minutes of driving crying, not because I was sad, I was just overwhelmed with all of this.
I can't believe it, but at the same time, I very, very, very much can.
Adam called somewhere outside of Easton, and I had just stopped crying and told me some awesome things, haha.
That made me smile, that Adam called. Because he was the only one that did. [outside of Katy, Jenni, and all of them].

I did a lot of thinking while driving.
well, because there was really nothing else to do.
But I thought about a lot of things that I sorta touch on every once in a while inside my head, but I really went all out this time.
I guess being that this is a major change in my life, I thought about all the people I know, all the people I care about but they really don't know how much they mean to me.
Sometimes I think I can tell them, but that would be just weird and gay. And I guess I tell myself that they already know, or I hope they do anyway.
But then I think, you know your life can change in a instant. Just like that, everything could change, you be gone.
And there really isnt time for me not to tell people.
So I've decided to write everyone letters and let them know how I really feel.
Especially to my dad, my mom, my grandmother, my little brother, to my stepmom [Susan] and etc.
Because we have had a lot of differeneces and a lot of random things have changed over the years, and I just want them all to know that if I ever said anything bad, I didn't mean it.
Not now, anyways.
For example...
I can think of a few key moments where my dad and I didnt get along. And that makes me upset, because if I remember them, doesn't he? I dont want him to.
I dont want him to remember that I told him some things that I didnt mean. I dont want that to ever linger in the back of his mind. Which I'm sure it doesnt, but it bothers me for some reason.
After I write evey note I'll probably post it, and I dont really know when I'll get around to doing it.
But the important part is that I'm going to do it, and I want to.

I'm so excited to be here.
I'm so happy.
This is a brand new feeling for me, I could never explain it.
I feel complete here.
I feel like we belong here.
And I love it.
I dont ever want to leave.
I wish everyone could come here and see me, see how I am here.
See me, like I should be.
It's beautiful.
I love it.
AH! I love it!

Things are very slowly coming together, but coming together nonetheless.
The kitchen is really the only room thats done.
Which might I add, looks good. haha.
And of course I'm going to take pictures and post when everything has a place and when I hook the Kodak thing up.
Which I havent gotten around to yet, I know its crazy!
The living room is still a large mess of boxes and random furniture.
The bathroom is sorta done, just needs some more homey touches haha. yeah I said homey, not homie. I aint got no gangster bathroom or nothing haha.
Bedroom is just a bed and clothes right now, haha like a crack house.
But its all good, in this hood. phar rel.

So yesterday I was in the laundromat with Jay and we were sitting at the litte table flipping through a random St Augustine freebie paper thingy.
And Jay was like 'is this Marina?' and low and behold inisde it WAS her. that was fucking awesome.
I was like wow. haha. this morning she called and we talked on the phone about random ass shit, which I'm good at doing for a hour or more.
It felt spectacular to talk to someone, hahaha. Especially her, cause we've been going crazy online talking to eachother and about how excited we were/are to meet eachother.
And here I am, in St Augustine, yeah you better believe it.
<3

Last night I got the internet back and my myspace was full of all kinds of random stuff, it took me a good 30 minutes just to get through the friend requests haha.
That is just absurd, but I won't like-I liked it. haha.
Changed all my info so it says I live HERE and not in crappy ol' Cambridge. like I said...which is AWESOME!

oh! and clove cigarettes aren't illegal here, and thats fucking awesome.
we went into bp and I near about had a heart attack lmao.
so, of course I bought some. and I thoght of Adam.
And our random adventure to go get some cloves, that was awesome.
And it was also the first time I skipped school. [college wise anyways]

So last night after I was done going through all of my emails, and my myspace stuff, catching up on journal entries and etc etc etc.
It was about 12:30 and I was still up and awake and I thought
'I want to go for a drive/walk' And since I'm not very comfortable with walking around at night alone, not yet anyways, I was leaning toward the drive.
I wanted to get lost and find my way back. I love that. Always have.
And its a good way to get used to your surroundings I've noticed.
But I decided not to, and I went to sleep.

But I think after I'm done posting this. I am going to go adventure out into the world, and discover some things around here.
I really want to go apply to some places, Marina told me of some places that are hiring, and I still want to try caf 11 cause it looks like a cool chill spot.
But I really don't want to work with food anymore, I'm so tired of that environment.
So I applied to a couple of banks, online. Since thats the way of the future and all haha.
And to a michael's craft store.

Well, lets see, I guess thats all for now, Ill write more later of course. <3

Peace.