effie_clair

I've purchased a lot of random shit lately, one being a new phone (finally) and another being a shit-ton of origins cosmetics. Origins is the total lovely for your facemeat, by the way. I needed a bit of a recoup after my debacle of a facial in that it made me break out in a way I never have before. When I went in, the woman actually asked if she could remove my makeup (I was not wearing makeup) and seemed surprised that my skin wasn't awful from the get-go. She turned out to be a d-bag and a half in that she formulated a plan for my skin and offered her services at a discount if I would trek over to her apartment weekly. Upon trekking per her request on the appointed day, I found she was neither at home nor was she answering her phone and she has yet to call back in two weeks. The real fucker was that my face was a leper for two weeks after her chemical torture and only after I rescinded her prescribed regimen in favor of Origins did my flesh stop producing open sores and heal like Lazarus after a nice long Jesus groping. Lesson duly learned. Turns out that the whole "put makeup on.. wash makeup off.. pay people to pour crazy chemicals on your fucking face" is a racket. Who the fuck knew? I did yet was sort of pushed into it by "ooo.. I saw invisible differences after paying umpteen dollars to have someone sell me shit" and such other spurious testimonies by those around me. Turns out, if you leave the shit alone and use natural products, your face is fine with life and is all about getting on with the business of being your face.

This made me laugh a LOT, multiple times:


P.S. Hulu has officially commenced the evil. I never liked that Hulu anyway.

Also:
In my dream last night, I saw Charles Manson walk down the hall adjacent to the room I was in as I was making out with some random person's face. Dear subconscious, please abstain from ruining my sex dreams by inserting random figures of killing and madness. It's a major turn off. Kthnx.

There was something else that was also awesome but I forgot it which is actually really lovely. I wish I would forget more and more often. I'm sending up that request to no one for nothing.