Six days (1-1-08)
Here are some recent journal entries to close out 2008. I write almost everyday and probably only share 20% of what I write with the public so here's a window of six days where I've made 4 entries.
12/27:
The weather today is extraordinary. It's near 60 degrees and those 2 feet of snow we only received a week ago are melting away quickly. The weather is so good that it's gotten me out of the house and walking around. What an excellent day to do errands. What an excellent day to walk around with my fake Ipod. What an excellent evening to write!
I walked around for the first time in nearly 2 weeks without looking down at almost every step, fearful of slipping on icy sidewalks, corners and streets. I know it's obvious to us all but when you have to keep your eyes on your feet watching every step it's real hard to see everything else going on around you. I'm sure that's a metaphor for life. I bet it's something like if you are always afraid of taking a step you'll never get anywhere or maybe something else about missing out on the world and life. I can't get too deep when I'm only in the 2nd paragraph, geez.
I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. Mine was okay. I can't complain although I think I will. One of my best friends and my mom both got me these cologne gift sets. Here's the thing though, I don't wear cologne. I bought a small 3 ounce bottle of some discontinued fragrance that I liked in the early 90's almost 4 years ago and it's still full. You'd think the people closest to you would know you well enough to know things like that, but on the bright side, my friend got me New York Yankee Derek Jeter cologne so it's not all bad there as it's a cool thing to have for that reason and my Mom, well bless her. It's amazing that I get anything from her at all considering her situation. I bought her a hat/gloves/scarf set. She's not allowed out much from her place, but they'll let her walk to the store every now and then to get smokes or something and no matter how cold it is, she'll never wear anything on her head or hands. This is dangerous behavior. Take it from someone who has had pneumonia, you don't want to get sick like that. Something like 40% of your body heat escapes through your head so put on those hats people! So there I was on Christmas day giving my mom her presents and reminding her to put those things on when going out into the cold when 20 years ago she had to constantly tell me those things life is cyclical and bizarre.
12/29:
I'm not Mr. Right. I'm not the perfect guy. I'm not the man of your dreams nor am I your soulmate. I'm not Prince Charming nor am I in his court. I am not a fantasy. I am a reality. I'm not a great guy, I'm a good guy. Shouldn't that be enough? Online dating is a pain in the ass. People expect the world hello you are looking for dates online. Only Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan and those real life couples on the Match and E-harmony commercials have magical keyboards. It doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good romantic story though.
Honestly though, I don't buy into the whole idea of "the one". There are nearly 7 billion people on this planet. Am I supposed to believe that 1 of the 7 billion people on this planet is the perfect person for me? What are the odds I'd find her? What are the odds she's in the same hemisphere as me, the same continent? I believe that unless you are incredibly strange or unique that there are probably thousands upon thousands of people that you can be compatible with. Apologies to all the couples out there but I do not believe that the person you are with is your soulmate. The odds are simply not in our favor. So to all of you and myself I am saying that you don't have to find someone perfect. Find someone who makes you happy and who you want to make happy and enjoy. I say this to all of you and myself too because too often I reject people for silly reasons but lately I've been running into some women who think (fill in your dream guy here) is out there waiting for them. It's ridiculous. By the way being single during the holidays sucks.
12/31:
I could have sworn they said 3 to 5 inches. I opened my door and there was a foot of snow standing there against where the door had been. It was a perfect wall of snow. It was smooth and white, untouched by tires, feet or plows. It was almost beautiful. Okay it was beautiful, I'm just a little jaded because I had to shovel both that snow against my door and all over my steps and all the snow in front of my house on the sidewalk. It took 20-25 minutes. But much like the snow on my doorstep this was the best snow. It was the best to look at and the best to shovel. Walking down the driveway to the street it was almost like looking at a Christmas card or a snow globe. The snow was still coming down, there was limited visibility in every direction and the world was white. The streets were coated in white, many of the sidewalks hadn't been shoveled and more than that there really weren't too many footprints tracked through the snow. It was like this in front of my house, no footprints. It was pure uncut winter goodness and perfect to shovel. The snow came up off the ground with little to no effort. I carved my shovel into the snow and crafted a path to my liking. It was probably the most fun I've had shoveling in years.
After shoveling I decided I deserved a treat so I walk down the block to the bus stop and waited for the bus. I know what you are thinking, riding the bus is no treat but consider this; just because I shoveled doesn't mean most of the world did. In fact, I would guarantee you that most of the houses on my 15-20 minute walk to work had not and then I have to make a difficult decision: do I trudge my way through a foot of snow block to block, or do I take my chances walking on the side of the road? No one who is older than 14 wants to deal with walking ten to twelve blocks with snow up to their shins and with my history with automobiles and them running into me I did not and do not want to walk on the side of the road and trust that they will avoid me. Besides all of that today is the last day the buses are $1.50 to ride .. the .25 hike tomorrow, so there.
As I go to enter the bus I promptly slip and almost end up on the ground. Thankfully there was this large rectangular thing for me to catch myself .. catching myself on the white street. After catching myself I paused because it looked like a guy was coming out but apparently he was just standing there talking to the driver. I shrug and make my way (carefully) onto the bus and the first thing I hear is the guy talking to the driver; "I don't have a problem talking about my love for Jesus Christ." Interesting. I sit down near the front of the bus and I take a quick scan of everyone nearby. I do this to try to get a "read on the room". Is this guy harmlessly loving the lord and his son, or is this guy scaring people? I quickly gather after 30 seconds of observation and listening that it's the 3rd option: this guy is annoyingly loving the lord, as in annoying everyone within the sound of his voice. I take a look at Mr. Jesus. I notice the black slacks, shoes and what appears to be a white shirt and black tie underneath his jacket. This man is a Mormon.
He actually gets off at the nest stop and then everybody starts dissing him. Oh those filthy Mormons and their crooked ways. One lady starts talking about Joseph Smith and how he led a ton of Mormon followers to death. Another lady noticed how the bible he had was odd. The Joseph Smith lady adds that she thought there was only one bible. As all this occurs I smile and shake my head a little almost breaking into a chuckle. Who cares? Well, obviously they do but why? The man is happy and disciplined and is in love with Jesus. Good for him I say. Unless he starts doing things to me who am I to care? Now I realize some people on that bus would say he was doing something to them annoying them, but he was talking to the driver, not trying to convert the masses. It was a conversation. It's no more annoying than listening to two teens talk about life when "like" is every other word or when two douchebag males are discussing a woman's body parts sprinkled with ill intent. I don't know if the man was confused, misguided, at peace, or at home.
1/1:
Happy New Year. I usually don't do resolutions or anything like that but this year I think I will. My resolution is to make myself happier and the best way to accomplish that is by losing weight. My weight's been like a yo-yo for all of my adult life. I lose 50 pounds and then gain 60. I lose 40 and gain 30. Constant focus, long term motivation, those have been things I have lacked. I'm really going to try though. Softball, football and street hockey will be here in the spring and I really want to be in better shape for them than last year when I was dealing with the injuries from the car accident and all the weight gain that came with it. No excuses now though.
-My annual end of the year personal inventory and updates on my quest for the 5 things I constantly seek will be my next entry and should be dropping soon.
Here are some recent journal entries to close out 2008. I write almost everyday and probably only share 20% of what I write with the public so here's a window of six days where I've made 4 entries.
12/27:
The weather today is extraordinary. It's near 60 degrees and those 2 feet of snow we only received a week ago are melting away quickly. The weather is so good that it's gotten me out of the house and walking around. What an excellent day to do errands. What an excellent day to walk around with my fake Ipod. What an excellent evening to write!
I walked around for the first time in nearly 2 weeks without looking down at almost every step, fearful of slipping on icy sidewalks, corners and streets. I know it's obvious to us all but when you have to keep your eyes on your feet watching every step it's real hard to see everything else going on around you. I'm sure that's a metaphor for life. I bet it's something like if you are always afraid of taking a step you'll never get anywhere or maybe something else about missing out on the world and life. I can't get too deep when I'm only in the 2nd paragraph, geez.
I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. Mine was okay. I can't complain although I think I will. One of my best friends and my mom both got me these cologne gift sets. Here's the thing though, I don't wear cologne. I bought a small 3 ounce bottle of some discontinued fragrance that I liked in the early 90's almost 4 years ago and it's still full. You'd think the people closest to you would know you well enough to know things like that, but on the bright side, my friend got me New York Yankee Derek Jeter cologne so it's not all bad there as it's a cool thing to have for that reason and my Mom, well bless her. It's amazing that I get anything from her at all considering her situation. I bought her a hat/gloves/scarf set. She's not allowed out much from her place, but they'll let her walk to the store every now and then to get smokes or something and no matter how cold it is, she'll never wear anything on her head or hands. This is dangerous behavior. Take it from someone who has had pneumonia, you don't want to get sick like that. Something like 40% of your body heat escapes through your head so put on those hats people! So there I was on Christmas day giving my mom her presents and reminding her to put those things on when going out into the cold when 20 years ago she had to constantly tell me those things life is cyclical and bizarre.
12/29:
I'm not Mr. Right. I'm not the perfect guy. I'm not the man of your dreams nor am I your soulmate. I'm not Prince Charming nor am I in his court. I am not a fantasy. I am a reality. I'm not a great guy, I'm a good guy. Shouldn't that be enough? Online dating is a pain in the ass. People expect the world hello you are looking for dates online. Only Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan and those real life couples on the Match and E-harmony commercials have magical keyboards. It doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good romantic story though.
Honestly though, I don't buy into the whole idea of "the one". There are nearly 7 billion people on this planet. Am I supposed to believe that 1 of the 7 billion people on this planet is the perfect person for me? What are the odds I'd find her? What are the odds she's in the same hemisphere as me, the same continent? I believe that unless you are incredibly strange or unique that there are probably thousands upon thousands of people that you can be compatible with. Apologies to all the couples out there but I do not believe that the person you are with is your soulmate. The odds are simply not in our favor. So to all of you and myself I am saying that you don't have to find someone perfect. Find someone who makes you happy and who you want to make happy and enjoy. I say this to all of you and myself too because too often I reject people for silly reasons but lately I've been running into some women who think (fill in your dream guy here) is out there waiting for them. It's ridiculous. By the way being single during the holidays sucks.
12/31:
I could have sworn they said 3 to 5 inches. I opened my door and there was a foot of snow standing there against where the door had been. It was a perfect wall of snow. It was smooth and white, untouched by tires, feet or plows. It was almost beautiful. Okay it was beautiful, I'm just a little jaded because I had to shovel both that snow against my door and all over my steps and all the snow in front of my house on the sidewalk. It took 20-25 minutes. But much like the snow on my doorstep this was the best snow. It was the best to look at and the best to shovel. Walking down the driveway to the street it was almost like looking at a Christmas card or a snow globe. The snow was still coming down, there was limited visibility in every direction and the world was white. The streets were coated in white, many of the sidewalks hadn't been shoveled and more than that there really weren't too many footprints tracked through the snow. It was like this in front of my house, no footprints. It was pure uncut winter goodness and perfect to shovel. The snow came up off the ground with little to no effort. I carved my shovel into the snow and crafted a path to my liking. It was probably the most fun I've had shoveling in years.
After shoveling I decided I deserved a treat so I walk down the block to the bus stop and waited for the bus. I know what you are thinking, riding the bus is no treat but consider this; just because I shoveled doesn't mean most of the world did. In fact, I would guarantee you that most of the houses on my 15-20 minute walk to work had not and then I have to make a difficult decision: do I trudge my way through a foot of snow block to block, or do I take my chances walking on the side of the road? No one who is older than 14 wants to deal with walking ten to twelve blocks with snow up to their shins and with my history with automobiles and them running into me I did not and do not want to walk on the side of the road and trust that they will avoid me. Besides all of that today is the last day the buses are $1.50 to ride .. the .25 hike tomorrow, so there.
As I go to enter the bus I promptly slip and almost end up on the ground. Thankfully there was this large rectangular thing for me to catch myself .. catching myself on the white street. After catching myself I paused because it looked like a guy was coming out but apparently he was just standing there talking to the driver. I shrug and make my way (carefully) onto the bus and the first thing I hear is the guy talking to the driver; "I don't have a problem talking about my love for Jesus Christ." Interesting. I sit down near the front of the bus and I take a quick scan of everyone nearby. I do this to try to get a "read on the room". Is this guy harmlessly loving the lord and his son, or is this guy scaring people? I quickly gather after 30 seconds of observation and listening that it's the 3rd option: this guy is annoyingly loving the lord, as in annoying everyone within the sound of his voice. I take a look at Mr. Jesus. I notice the black slacks, shoes and what appears to be a white shirt and black tie underneath his jacket. This man is a Mormon.
He actually gets off at the nest stop and then everybody starts dissing him. Oh those filthy Mormons and their crooked ways. One lady starts talking about Joseph Smith and how he led a ton of Mormon followers to death. Another lady noticed how the bible he had was odd. The Joseph Smith lady adds that she thought there was only one bible. As all this occurs I smile and shake my head a little almost breaking into a chuckle. Who cares? Well, obviously they do but why? The man is happy and disciplined and is in love with Jesus. Good for him I say. Unless he starts doing things to me who am I to care? Now I realize some people on that bus would say he was doing something to them annoying them, but he was talking to the driver, not trying to convert the masses. It was a conversation. It's no more annoying than listening to two teens talk about life when "like" is every other word or when two douchebag males are discussing a woman's body parts sprinkled with ill intent. I don't know if the man was confused, misguided, at peace, or at home.
1/1:
Happy New Year. I usually don't do resolutions or anything like that but this year I think I will. My resolution is to make myself happier and the best way to accomplish that is by losing weight. My weight's been like a yo-yo for all of my adult life. I lose 50 pounds and then gain 60. I lose 40 and gain 30. Constant focus, long term motivation, those have been things I have lacked. I'm really going to try though. Softball, football and street hockey will be here in the spring and I really want to be in better shape for them than last year when I was dealing with the injuries from the car accident and all the weight gain that came with it. No excuses now though.
-My annual end of the year personal inventory and updates on my quest for the 5 things I constantly seek will be my next entry and should be dropping soon.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
haha unfortunately that was the only pic of him and me..he had to go back to planet zupec