posting post-postal post (4-15-08)
Category: Life
I got into work late this morning. Who knew the post office would be so full today. Of course I am being facetious, as it is tax day today. I did my federal taxes in January right after I received the booklet in the mail from them. My state taxes I did this morning because they never sent me a booklet and forms, so it slipped my mind. Thankfully I read the basic news and goings on the net each morning because there I started to see a bunch of junk about tax deadline day and refunds and rebates and further reminders of all the wonderful stuff I am paying for each year in this free nation and abroad decided by people I did not elect. Does your bitter-meter detect a bit of bitterness? If yours is working correctly then you probably detect a fair amount.
Don't get me wrong, I love America, but I hate our leaders and the thought that these imbeciles that I didn't elect are using my tax dollars on expensive wars and things I am against makes me a little upset sometimes. But that's not why I am here today. I'm here to tell you about my day, my other thoughts and my travels even if those travels are a 20 minute bike ride.
So where was I? That's right, the post office. There were a lot of people in line and no one has something easy to do like I did which was to buy a stamp and mail a letter or in this case my state tax return. It seems like it's that way everywhere lately. Every time I get in line somewhere this seems to happen. I go to the corner store to get a chocolate milk and an oatmeal cookie and presto the 3 people in front of me are paying with a benefit card, or trying to use 8 coupons to buy 4 things and my favorite, buying Eclipse Mints with a credit card. The post office was no different, 8 people in front of me, each needing a laundry list of things done before being done.
One of the greatest inventions of the past 50 years is the express line. When I was a kid for some reason I found them to be elitist. I mean some people would go so far as to lie about how many items they had just in get into that line and by the looks of it, some were better liars than others. It reminded me of the cool kids at school. They all sat together at lunch and some people would do anything to get a seat at that table, including bringing 18 items to a 10 items or less line. But for the most part the express line has worked wonders in terms of time saving and fairness. It's only logical that if someone has 3 items and I have 42, I should let them go ahead of me. Some people would make them wait though and that's just not right, so they not only had to create an express line, but they had to create an express line from the express line. At my local market they have a 15 items or less and then a 7 items or less. I've never seen anyone dare hit the 7 items or less line with more than maybe 10 items. My point is that as I've gotten older I've realized the common sense and value of the express line. My problem is that they aren't exactly everywhere.
Come to think of it what has really got me riled up are those awful commercials. You know the ones, it's a beautiful consumer paradise where everything is pleasant, musical-like and a well oiled machine until some douchebag has the audacity to break out cash and mess up EVERYTHING! You see, everyone else has Visa check cards and apparently they can walk right through and swipe their card like a bus pass or metro pass and leave 2 seconds later but the dillweed who lacks common sense and brought paper money with him ruins everyone's day and makes people crash into each other and gives birth to a state of disarray. I hate those commercials, partly because I always have cash and partly because I feel like those commercials are telling me that cash is wrong. To paraphrase an old soul ballad, if loving cash is wrong then I don't want to be right.
So the wait at the post office was long. I could swear people were up there just f-ing with me. "So if I wanted to ship this to Paris first class how much would it cost?
-$15.59 sir
-Okay, now if I wanted to ship it priority how much would it cost?
-$21.38 sir
-Okay, what if I wanted to Paris first class
-It's $15.59
-Okay what was priority again?
-$21.38 sir
-and what was first class again?
-it's still $15.59 sir.
-hmmmmm, oh I don't know, what do you think?
And this was what about half of the people in line in front of me were like, agonizing over their postal decisions while I was ready to go postal.
I'm kidding though. None of this stuff made me upset at all really, well except maybe that commercial, but as someone who tries to do things as efficiently as possible it is tough to see a world where it seems everything is anything but.
Meanwhile, many moons later I get up there and this is what I ask, "Hi, can I have a stamp please and could I mail this letter?" After the person weighs it, I pay my 41 cents and within 30 seconds I am walking out the door. If they had an express line, I could have saved 15 minutes and a little mind numbing. Of course how do you determine an express line at the post office? Maybe they can have a "need stamp(s)" line. Or maybe they can install a stamp vending machine with lots of cool designs and art on the stamps. Then you can personalize your letter a little more by picking a stamp design that is more you. Perhaps instead of putting dead presidents or goofy old celebrities, perhaps local artists could have their work on stamps too. Then stamps from a particular area could have a certain value to them because they may be unlike any other stamps anywhere else. Wouldn't that make you think the post office was really your local post office and not just some government office? When I'm post master general that's the first thing I'm going to do well actually the 2nd thing I'd do. The first thing I'd do is promote myself to postmaster Admiral. Wait is admiral higher or lower than general? Whatever, I'd make myself Grand Moff postmaster. Then I'd do the stamp vending machine design thing.
Category: Life
I got into work late this morning. Who knew the post office would be so full today. Of course I am being facetious, as it is tax day today. I did my federal taxes in January right after I received the booklet in the mail from them. My state taxes I did this morning because they never sent me a booklet and forms, so it slipped my mind. Thankfully I read the basic news and goings on the net each morning because there I started to see a bunch of junk about tax deadline day and refunds and rebates and further reminders of all the wonderful stuff I am paying for each year in this free nation and abroad decided by people I did not elect. Does your bitter-meter detect a bit of bitterness? If yours is working correctly then you probably detect a fair amount.
Don't get me wrong, I love America, but I hate our leaders and the thought that these imbeciles that I didn't elect are using my tax dollars on expensive wars and things I am against makes me a little upset sometimes. But that's not why I am here today. I'm here to tell you about my day, my other thoughts and my travels even if those travels are a 20 minute bike ride.
So where was I? That's right, the post office. There were a lot of people in line and no one has something easy to do like I did which was to buy a stamp and mail a letter or in this case my state tax return. It seems like it's that way everywhere lately. Every time I get in line somewhere this seems to happen. I go to the corner store to get a chocolate milk and an oatmeal cookie and presto the 3 people in front of me are paying with a benefit card, or trying to use 8 coupons to buy 4 things and my favorite, buying Eclipse Mints with a credit card. The post office was no different, 8 people in front of me, each needing a laundry list of things done before being done.
One of the greatest inventions of the past 50 years is the express line. When I was a kid for some reason I found them to be elitist. I mean some people would go so far as to lie about how many items they had just in get into that line and by the looks of it, some were better liars than others. It reminded me of the cool kids at school. They all sat together at lunch and some people would do anything to get a seat at that table, including bringing 18 items to a 10 items or less line. But for the most part the express line has worked wonders in terms of time saving and fairness. It's only logical that if someone has 3 items and I have 42, I should let them go ahead of me. Some people would make them wait though and that's just not right, so they not only had to create an express line, but they had to create an express line from the express line. At my local market they have a 15 items or less and then a 7 items or less. I've never seen anyone dare hit the 7 items or less line with more than maybe 10 items. My point is that as I've gotten older I've realized the common sense and value of the express line. My problem is that they aren't exactly everywhere.
Come to think of it what has really got me riled up are those awful commercials. You know the ones, it's a beautiful consumer paradise where everything is pleasant, musical-like and a well oiled machine until some douchebag has the audacity to break out cash and mess up EVERYTHING! You see, everyone else has Visa check cards and apparently they can walk right through and swipe their card like a bus pass or metro pass and leave 2 seconds later but the dillweed who lacks common sense and brought paper money with him ruins everyone's day and makes people crash into each other and gives birth to a state of disarray. I hate those commercials, partly because I always have cash and partly because I feel like those commercials are telling me that cash is wrong. To paraphrase an old soul ballad, if loving cash is wrong then I don't want to be right.
So the wait at the post office was long. I could swear people were up there just f-ing with me. "So if I wanted to ship this to Paris first class how much would it cost?
-$15.59 sir
-Okay, now if I wanted to ship it priority how much would it cost?
-$21.38 sir
-Okay, what if I wanted to Paris first class
-It's $15.59
-Okay what was priority again?
-$21.38 sir
-and what was first class again?
-it's still $15.59 sir.
-hmmmmm, oh I don't know, what do you think?
And this was what about half of the people in line in front of me were like, agonizing over their postal decisions while I was ready to go postal.
I'm kidding though. None of this stuff made me upset at all really, well except maybe that commercial, but as someone who tries to do things as efficiently as possible it is tough to see a world where it seems everything is anything but.
Meanwhile, many moons later I get up there and this is what I ask, "Hi, can I have a stamp please and could I mail this letter?" After the person weighs it, I pay my 41 cents and within 30 seconds I am walking out the door. If they had an express line, I could have saved 15 minutes and a little mind numbing. Of course how do you determine an express line at the post office? Maybe they can have a "need stamp(s)" line. Or maybe they can install a stamp vending machine with lots of cool designs and art on the stamps. Then you can personalize your letter a little more by picking a stamp design that is more you. Perhaps instead of putting dead presidents or goofy old celebrities, perhaps local artists could have their work on stamps too. Then stamps from a particular area could have a certain value to them because they may be unlike any other stamps anywhere else. Wouldn't that make you think the post office was really your local post office and not just some government office? When I'm post master general that's the first thing I'm going to do well actually the 2nd thing I'd do. The first thing I'd do is promote myself to postmaster Admiral. Wait is admiral higher or lower than general? Whatever, I'd make myself Grand Moff postmaster. Then I'd do the stamp vending machine design thing.