eddiemaine

As I lie in bed feeling what could only be described as one of worsed hangovers I've had in a while I'm remembering how much I enjoyed myself last night. Dispite all the heaving, shaking and headache-ing(see what I did there?) I have contentment, for last night I finally went to two gay/lesbian friendly clubs. It also saddens me that it has taken this long to so and brings up the question why? As in why has it taken me till I was 22 to go to such a venue? Though I haven't always been entirely honest with myself about my bisexuality, I've at least known I was into men since I was a teen. I'm still not entirely comfortable with that label - 'bisexual' because with that label comes judgement and prejudice, as any other label would. That really boils down to the way our society works (but i'll leave the whole society sucks rant for another day). I must admit It's not entirely societies fault, countless others have moved past these labels and broke through these judgemental prejudice barriers.
So now it boils down to me, how I wish to be perceived and do I care how they perceive me? Currently I do, way too much. Hence not going out to certain clubs, hence only being with guys in a secretive manner, hence not expressing my true sexuality (bar to a select few, this site and a random bi hookup site I won't name : p) i wan't to change this. The idea follows on from my first blog mentioning living to my standard. This is my step forward towards the way I want to be, the way I wish to live my life, my standard.
If anyone asks I'll say I'm not bisexual....I'm bi-winning