Okay, i just watched Elf, and it made me tear up at the end. Either i'm exhausted and have no emotional defenses left, or i'm a total sap. Fine by me in both cases. Needless to say, i think movies aimed at kids are way too emotionally manipulative, especially when the really cute girl ends up with the main character in a very happy, romantic...
Read More
Read More
stella_marie:
god, you remind me so much of my ex. i guess its your whole attitude and the way you make others see the world. and thats a huge compliment. it was just something i needed to get off my chest. it wasnt anything new, but it felt better putting it out there. its a movie night over here too. i rented the machinist and 16 years of alcohol. i started watching one but the boy fromt he other night called and might be coming over to join me on the machinist. hes got 30 minutes before i say fuck it and start it myself. 
The hearing a speech in Parliament, drawled or stammered out by the Honourable Member or the Noble Lord, the ringing the changes on their common-places, which any one could repeat after them as well as they, stirs me not a jot, shakes not my good opinion of myself: but seeing the Indian Juggler does. It makes me ashamed of myself. I ask what there is...
Read More
Read More
stella_marie:
nice pic. but whats that mess behind you??
doggy woke me up a 2:30 to let me know she had weed on the carpet instead of her wee pad. thanks, doggy, i wanted to know that. i didn't want to sleep, it's okay.
stella_marie:
i fell asleep watching tv and now i dont want to go into my bed cause the cats are there sleeping and they are never on there together and i dont want to bother them. oh, the dilema.
I dropped off my 38 rolls of slides to be developed - very satisfying. 38 rolls in 2.5 weeks, every one chock full of sexy churches. Church asses, church faces, close-ups, sexy lighting, mood accents, there's a bit of everything. It's all about smooth lines, soft curves, the occaissional jagged bit to keep your attention riveted to every detail. That's the great thing about medieval...
Read More
Read More
is it wrong that i watched the second half of Grand Theft Parsons, and actually thought it was moving? Am i a bad person for thinking that Johnny Knoxville is a decent actor? I need to watch better movies.
slept but can sleep no longer
was exhausted and still am
was exhausted and still am
stella_marie:
i just woke up to pee. back to sleep for me
Back in NYC.
Well, a day of traveling wasn't too painful a punishment for missing my fucking flight. It actually was pretty easy, if long. Wait at the Amsterdam airport until 2, fly to Boston, wait for fucking ever for my luggage to come up in Logan, take a fucking cab from Logan to South Station because i couldn't find the motherfucking Silver Line, Greyhound...
Read More
Well, a day of traveling wasn't too painful a punishment for missing my fucking flight. It actually was pretty easy, if long. Wait at the Amsterdam airport until 2, fly to Boston, wait for fucking ever for my luggage to come up in Logan, take a fucking cab from Logan to South Station because i couldn't find the motherfucking Silver Line, Greyhound...
Read More
It's official - i'm a fucking moron. Instead of intelligently, carefully reading my flight confirmation sheet last night, i gave it a cursory glance to check my flight time. I see 11:55 and like it, so it makes sense to me that it's my departure time. However, a much more careful reading, which i performed at 9:45 on the train to the airport, reveals that...
Read More
Read More
stella_marie:
i cant believe you are coming home already. didnt even cross my mind that at some point you would. im warning you i took ambien a few hours ago so i might not remember this. its amazing how the mind plays tricksw on us. when i look at things, patches keep moving. when i move my hands, i see trails. and yeah, that lennon song is amazing. the music itself is the perfect description of what insomnia feels like. ok, i going to play with my 15 hands then gfo back to sleep.
stella_marie:
im goign to my parents house till tuesday. let me know when you get into the city. its about fucking time we hang out 
Things that make life worth living:
I went to the New Church in Amsterdam this afternoon, the big gothic church on the Dam square in the middle of town. As usual, there was a massive crowd in the square, watching the buskers doing their mime things and dancing, etc. To my great surprise, there was a little 8-10 year old kid standing just outside the...
Read More
I went to the New Church in Amsterdam this afternoon, the big gothic church on the Dam square in the middle of town. As usual, there was a massive crowd in the square, watching the buskers doing their mime things and dancing, etc. To my great surprise, there was a little 8-10 year old kid standing just outside the...
Read More
A few thoughts on the red light district in amsterdam.
Prostitution - in general, tends to not be the best thing in the world. maybe that was a slight understatement. I'm all for people being allowed to do whatever they want to do for money, and i see nothing wrong with men or women using their bodies for cash. The problem clearly comes in with...
Read More
Prostitution - in general, tends to not be the best thing in the world. maybe that was a slight understatement. I'm all for people being allowed to do whatever they want to do for money, and i see nothing wrong with men or women using their bodies for cash. The problem clearly comes in with...
Read More
stella_marie:
i was in amsterdam with my family, and of course, when you go to amsterdam, you have to go through the red light district. would you go to paris and not see the eifell tower? we walked through and of course, i was pointing out girls for my brother - he was 16. the girls sat there in their lingerie reading a book, smoking a cigarette, just waiting, not noticing anyone. i dont think many even made eye contact. so to us, the whole thing seemed like a joke. i turned around and there was this man, probably in his 40s, standing between two windows. he was looking back and forth between 2 women. and suddenly, the whole thing seemed so real. i thought to myself, hes standing there trying to figure out which of these two girls to stick his dick into. i never felt so sick in my life as i did at that moment. my dad and brother were making jokes and i told them to stop. i told them i had enough and we left.
i cant imagine what its like to do that. um, i just caught you so im ending this here
i cant imagine what its like to do that. um, i just caught you so im ending this here
So I was planning on posting some gorgeous pictures of the Spanish / Portuguese border, but my friend's computer in Lisbon had a severe mental problem and would neither connect to the internet or shut down. I'll have to wait until mid-August when we all get back to NYC to get them from him and post them.
Back in Amsterdam. Animal stories of the day:...
Read More
Back in Amsterdam. Animal stories of the day:...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
stella_marie:
i find it kind of funny that you only post to me and that im the only one posting here. would it be wrong to think of you as my groupie?? 
i fell asleep last night around 830 and slept till almost 4. i took a revers nap staying up till about 7 and got another hour or two of sleep after that. i had terrible insomnia when i was in college. its just been so long that i forgot how much i enjoy it. i know, it seems crazy, but, well, i am. i think it reminds me of how quickly i went from highs to lows. the mania, the depression. i was all over the place yesterday. but i always toughed out the lows knowing the highs would come again. its something that is impossible to put into words cause it doesnt make sense. i easily could have put my head down at any point and fall asleep within minutes. the only problem was, well, i didnt want to.
but im fine today and feeling "level". im getting work done and meeting up with my dad for lunch. good thing it isnt my mom or i would have to do the dishes!!
i fell asleep last night around 830 and slept till almost 4. i took a revers nap staying up till about 7 and got another hour or two of sleep after that. i had terrible insomnia when i was in college. its just been so long that i forgot how much i enjoy it. i know, it seems crazy, but, well, i am.
i think it reminds me of how quickly i went from highs to lows. the mania, the depression. i was all over the place yesterday. but i always toughed out the lows knowing the highs would come again. its something that is impossible to put into words cause it doesnt make sense. i easily could have put my head down at any point and fall asleep within minutes. the only problem was, well, i didnt want to.
but im fine today and feeling "level". im getting work done and meeting up with my dad for lunch. good thing it isnt my mom or i would have to do the dishes!!
stella_marie:
are youhanging out in a barn??? my grandmother had a dog. she was a bichon. adorable little puffer. the had a pond in the backyard and of course, as in florida everywhere, they had ducks. the dog used to love to run and chase the ducks. they would all go crazy and fly into the water. this one time though, the duck didnt run and started quacking and flapping her wings and charging the dog. puffer stopped dead in her track, turned around and ran into the house so fast you would think a bull was chasing her. sorry, i cant get bulls out of my head now. thats the only one ive got. cause my cats are just sleeping. are you outside of amsterdam somewhere?
God may exist after all, because i think he saved some shithead frat boy's life tonight. I was walking to noo bai cafe in lisbon this evening, behind a group of 5 or so american frat boys. about 5 feet ahead of us was a gorgeous woman walking down the street alone. She was wearing white linen pants (set off nicely by a black thong),...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
stella_marie:
and i havent been able to set up my spellcheck with this new browser yet so pardon the spelling errors. we all have to have at least one imperfection
stella_marie:
ok, im slacking here. i got postcard #4 yesterday. um, you need to work on that penmanship. its quite sloopy and hard to read. its official, i am completely nocturnal. its 640 am. i woke up at 7pm last night. i cant sleep. but with the hopeful help of thses little pills, my eyes will shut and i can return to "normal"