Bad mood. Bad, bad mood. Today I didn't do a whole lot, on account of getting my ass thoroughly kicked at the Korn show in Cedar Rapids last night. My arms didn't work right last night, and not so well today either. The show was great; it was my first time seeing Korn, and they were worth it. After the show I hooked up with some friends I knew would be there, and also unexpectedly ran into my cool-as-hell old college roommate. So we all went to Steak n Shake and chilled (literally, the place was freezing; I was getting the shakes) for a couple hours. Great time.
Then there's today. Woke up around one, my latest yet this summer, didn't do much but get subjected to an eternal bombardment of jibes from my dad. An old-school psychologist would say that my "problems" are caused by what you could call a bad relationship with him. Truth to tell, I don't believe that; my problems are due to my own self, but I can see some basis for them. For one, I have to hear endlessly about the success of my dad's friends' kids, with the constant undertone of, "Why can't I be like that?" Well, I'll tell you. Because you are not their parents, and I am sure as shit not the kids. It's like he expects me to do things he never taught me how. And after seeing his "success" (coming home every night to pound back beer and wine and complain about how much he hates his job) for quite a few years, I wouldn't want to be like him. I won't ever be, and he can't see that. I know he loves me, but he doesn't even try to understand me. I know there are things I'm doing wrong, but they're because I don't know what I'm doing. I need to find out what to do on my own, and being subjected to his asinine drunken rantings on how I should be only makes me want to follow his lead even less. Eh, what do you care, no one's probably going to read this far anyway.
If nothing else, it was cathartic. I just need to get out of here; back to college, out of Iowa, you name it. I feel empty, and I hate it. I need some peace. I need some love. Bad. Now I'm just being depressing... 
Well, no more. Sleep tight, kids. May visions of the SG's dance through your heads. Peace out.
-E
Then there's today. Woke up around one, my latest yet this summer, didn't do much but get subjected to an eternal bombardment of jibes from my dad. An old-school psychologist would say that my "problems" are caused by what you could call a bad relationship with him. Truth to tell, I don't believe that; my problems are due to my own self, but I can see some basis for them. For one, I have to hear endlessly about the success of my dad's friends' kids, with the constant undertone of, "Why can't I be like that?" Well, I'll tell you. Because you are not their parents, and I am sure as shit not the kids. It's like he expects me to do things he never taught me how. And after seeing his "success" (coming home every night to pound back beer and wine and complain about how much he hates his job) for quite a few years, I wouldn't want to be like him. I won't ever be, and he can't see that. I know he loves me, but he doesn't even try to understand me. I know there are things I'm doing wrong, but they're because I don't know what I'm doing. I need to find out what to do on my own, and being subjected to his asinine drunken rantings on how I should be only makes me want to follow his lead even less. Eh, what do you care, no one's probably going to read this far anyway.
If nothing else, it was cathartic. I just need to get out of here; back to college, out of Iowa, you name it. I feel empty, and I hate it. I need some peace. I need some love. Bad. Now I'm just being depressing... Well, no more. Sleep tight, kids. May visions of the SG's dance through your heads. Peace out.
-E