I'm angry tonight, and I don't fully know why, In fact, that alone is a little depressing. Got off work a while back after hearing my co-workers fight for the better part of an hour (they're dating), so makes me wonder about relationships. As someone very prone to not being in them, I guess you tend to not consider the hardships and heartaches that come with them. I'm usually so sick of being single, but not tonight. Kind of makes me wonder if I'll ever have someone to share bad as well as good times with. I'm also angry at being asthmatic. I got it because my parents smoked (my mom died of lung cancer, and my dad still does... you'd think he'd learn), and it'll never go away. The reason that bothers me is that now I'm forever tied to civilization of some sort. If I ever wanted to do something so crazy as to just take off for parts unknown a la Thoreau (which seems appealing at times), I'd have to drag myself to a doctor every month or so so I can get the little white canister that lets me breathe. It bothers me that on a basic level, I'm not free, and it wasn't something I did. I suppose I could be mad, and I have been stewing all night listening to Professional Murder Music and other assorted angry classics, but it's ultimately futile, and that really depresses me. It's not something I can choose to accept or not; I have no choice. Well, I'm tired. Off to bed.
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