easter

Okay! I had a super close call yesterday. After everyone left, Drew took me in the back to talk to me... Even though Drew convinced the other guys to give me a try, after the two days I was there, some of the guys (out of 5 people) were still thinking they didn't want a second apprentice. He told me that he had talked to everyone the day before, and some of them weren't really happy with having me there. But without knowing this, I worked my ass off yesterday. I mean, it was easier because I felt a little more comfortable (which is natural the more time i spend there) and I felt a little more secure (even though apparently I wasn't!).

So, after I got tatttooed by Drew for about 4 hours, I decided to scrub the floor in the back room. While I was doing that, the guys who I suspect weren't really all that into me being there were back there. When I finished the floor (on my hands and knees!), I noticed that their little fridge was disgusting, so I cleaned that out with bleach. Afterwards, I cleaned the bathroom (which was actually already pretty clean, but what the hell?) Then, I wiped down all the jewelry cases and the tattoo artists' cabinets. After that, I took out all the reasonably full garbages. While I was cleaning out the fridge in back, I finally got to talk with one of those guys a little bit, which I hadn't before. He's really into metal, and so we were talking about Danzig and the Misfits and Type O Negative, all of which I was really into as a young teenager. Then he started to seem comfortable with me, which was very cool. I answered phone reasonably well and stayed out of people's way as much as possible while they were tattooing. I also had noticed earlier in the week that all their little jewelry gauge labels were spelled "guage", so I brought similar cardstock and took it upon myself to make new ones that were spelled correctly. I think I won points with the metal guy because I used the Misfits font, too . Not that I was trying to "win points", because I didn't even know the danger I was in.

So, I guess all of this was the right thing to do, because after everybody left, Drew took me in back and was like, "You did a great job today! But I have to tell you, some of the guys weren't wanting you to come back... We were actually thinking of not asking you to come back anymore. I mean, you know I want you here, but I also need all of my artists to be happy with the decisions made around here. After today, though, everyone wants you to come back. So you should be really proud of yourself." And I was just stunned... I had no idea that I was so close to... well, sort of being fired! So I was like, really slowly, "You mean... you guys were going to tell me... not to come back anymore.... but now... you arent?" And he was like, "Yeah, now everyone wants you to come back!" and then he probably noticed my stunned and dismayed expression, so he gave me a really nice hug and was like, "I'm so glad you get to stay!" And then he told me that I need to be more confident. Now, I'm a confident person, but the first two or three days at a tattoo shop where I know the owner had to work really hard to convince people to let me be there? I think it was natural for me to be a little nervous! But then basically he was like, "You know, you've been chosen out of like 50 people who wanted this job; we made a special place for you; you need to be really proud of that and act like... well, like you know exactly what you're doing all the time, and like you totally deserve to be here."

But I was thinking, how well would it have gone over with the artists there if I had come in with the attitude of, "I'm so cool, I totally own this place!"... I'm thinking they wouldn't have liked that much, either.

But anyway, now he assured me that *everyone* wants me there, so I feel good. Well, first I felt really fucking bad, then I felt good and relieved. It was an emotionally tumultuous evening. So all I have to do is keep doing what I've been doing, and things should be fine. Although all their apprentices are kind of on trial for a couple weeks to a month...

However, I really trust Drew and believe him. Plus, at the end of his last tattoo of the evening, he was like, "Hey! Can you draw some custom work for this guy?" which he wouldn't have me do if he weren't reasonably sure of my staying. The piece is another fairly large one... it's for the guys upper arm, to complete a sleeve. He wants a pinup girl on a rocket. I'm totally stoked because pinups are my favorite things to draw, and weirdly, I have experience drawing rockets, too. So that needs to be done by Tuesday, which I can totally have finished way earlier than that.

LOL, the guy who wanted the pinup and rocket actually asked me how old I was! I mean, he must have been in his early twenties, but I was like, "um, 28 in a couple weeks" and he was like, "whoa!" and looked totally stunned. He's like, "You don't look 28!" and I was like "Well, thank you!" And he must have meant it, because if he thought I was 28, he would have (hopefully) been too polite to ask my age!

So now I feel conflicting emotions. But I keep reminding myself that Drew said they all want me there, now. So as long as I keep doing what I was doing, I'll be good... right?

xoxo Easter