earnest_suicide

-21 years later-

Trystan watched the lone survivor pick his way across the sea of bodies, seeming as insignificant under the purple sky as if he had been small boat caught out in a storm. There was perseverance as the man waded; dropping to his knees and digging in the awful debris of the battlefield. His hands were clawing and searching with growing desperation.

Trystan folded his arms over his uniform, pausing before he disposed of this survivor. The man continued digging, until a piercing cry escaped his lips. Trystan didn't flinch at the sound, only watched as the man pulled a small body out of the debris. The man cradled it against himself. His strangled cry echoed over the desolate landscape. When his eyes rose to meet Trystan's, they were red with grief.

"Monster demon!" The man hissed in his native tongue. Trystan understood; he'd been trained on the language of the planet's inhabitants. Trystan stepped closer and stopped before the knelt survivor. The man hadn't let go of the body. Trystan could see now that it was a young girl. His daughter, perhaps?

The man spat at Trystan's feet with disgust. "Child murderer."

Trystan raised his gun to the mans head. The mans eyes stared directly into his own, rather than at the weapon. "Then how do you get to what's beneath?" Trystan asked, tilting his head to the side. A wistful smile graced his lips as he squeezed the trigger. "This is just skin."

A bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, enough to startle Trystan's aim. A tremor of his wrist, and the bullet caught the man across the side of his temple. He collapsed backwards, the girl's body rolling free from cold fingertips. Trystan examined the man's wound; a bleeding gash where the bullet had directly knocked his temple. He reached to check the pulse of the body, but another streak of lightning distracted him. He raised his gaze, scanning the battlefield for his companions.

Trystan saw his older brother first, standing a short distance away. Cadell was also gazing over the bodies that littered the ground. A nod from Trystan indicated that his younger brother was not hurt.

Cadell caught sight of the other four soldiers, each alive and minimally injured from the fighting. As they should be. This was no strong enemy, no epic struggle for righteousness. Their enemy was unprepared for their arrival. As he looked around more slowly this time, he knew that this had been a slaughter. There was no honour in this victory.

There was a loud rumbling from over their heads. The six soldiers wondered if this planet they had been sent to was somehow unstable. There was electricity in the air, and it was becoming harder to breathe. Eira; a girl soldier; looked upwards before any of them, and lifted her arms to the heavens with a knowing smile.

Cadell was irritated by Eira's stance. There were no heavens above this unstable sky, just darkness? The rumbling was getting louder, and the sound pounded constantly at the soldiers ears.

Another flash of light exploded across the purple sky. In his surprise, Cadell's legs buckled beneath him and he stumbled ungracefully to the ground. The purple sky opened and water poured down onto his waiting body.

In their short lives, the young soldiers had never felt rain before. They had been raised within metal walls on the colony; never habituating a planet long enough.

The rain sunk into Cadell's tangled long hair, and onto his blood speckled skin. Droplets paused at his lips, and he couldn't utter them away.

He didn't hear himself against the storm as he screamed.

@->--

I'm scared to be without air.

As his fingers creep around my neck, I'm pushed backwards over onto a bed. I can see that my commanding officers eyes are angered by my indifference. My heart aches to beat faster, but I will it to slow, mentally swallowing my panic. I meet the officer's eyes with growing hatred, calming myself to cope with the lack of air. "That's much better." He smiles.

This isn't really a good situation to be caught in as an officer, now, is it? I muse in my mind, real words choked from me. People might wonder about you. My head feels like a balloon threatening to explode its confinement. Does Lilias want me to claw for air? Like hell I will.

"Stubborn brat!

I try to collect my thoughts and relax my muscles as the dizziness set in. I know I've grown in the months I've been away, and in terms of build, my muscles are now deceivingly lean but well trained. Physically, at least, we've become more of a match. I could attack, but as soon as I lay a hand on the officer, it would be game over; and not just for me. What a fucking time to decide to be selfless.

Lilias grasps a handful of my long hair. "Give me any reason, and you're mine boy." Lilias leans closer to my ear and his breath is hot. "Maybe I should cut this off already?"

I know I brought this situation on myself. Someone smart wouldn't have been lurking in a sector of the colony that he knew was off limits. Someone smarter wouldn't have got caught.

"Never were much of a soldier, were you boy?"

Actually, I suspect that my kohl eyeliner had offended the officer most of all. The peaceful black ceiling was setting in at my temples. Fighting back at the cost of my life; was it worth it? There was no dignity here, and no reason to act the hero. I think of my mother. The fingers encasing my neck could have easily been the cold metal collar she had to endure. The parallel is comforting.

"I'd be careful. What could happen to one of your siblings, if I should come across one before I next find you..." Lilias had threatened when he caught me off limits. That had made the blood in my ears pound.

The light in the room suddenly dims. Someone is blocking the doorway, and Lilias releases my neck and stands to face the intruder.

"Trystan... get out of here." Cadell hisses at me. His eyes are cast in an eerie blue colour that could be mistaken for grey in the conditions of the colony. His impractical hair cascades all the way down to his waist, and he brushes a thick strand from his eyes with irritation. He holds his chin steady as he takes in the situation.

I'm still catching my breath in gulps as he glares at me. "Trystan. I told you to leave."

"You expect that." Lilias drawls as he points accusingly in my direction. "...to follow your orders, when he challenges mine? Or do you fancy yourself at a higher station?"

Cadell's eyes flicker back to meet Lilias. "I see you've been released from your higher responsibilities, sir." Cadell bites the title out with obvious distaste. "But I assure you, I can keep my section in check." He narrows his eyes at me.

"Ah, of course." Lilias says. "No doubt our Lord has great expectations of your abilities." The man's smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. "After all, he had high hopes for your blood." He scrutinises both of us, as one might look at a horse to buy; cogs that needed oiling; even chapters to be cut from an unfinished novel.

"I hope our actions please our Lord." Cadell answers mechanically. "We exist to serve the empire." He hand crosses over his chest, his fingers parted at the inked symbol on his inner wrist. I reluctantly mirror Cadell.

"We exist to serve the empire." I say, but it doesn't sound like my own voice.

Lilias has no choice but to accept our pretence. "The empire." Lilias gruffly agrees. He eyes me with distaste, but focuses on Cadell. "I don't have to remind you to keep your golden hides out of my sectors. Your fortunate position is nothing more than a design."

Cadell's nineteen years seem to double each time he raises his head a little higher. "Sir." He turns on his heel and from the corner of his eye; he dares me not to follow.

The corridors became lighter, and the air we breathe is fresher than the musky scent of the disused sectors. Cadell walks purposefully, his gaze directed forwards. I follow silently, only pausing beside when we come to an elevator to carry us between sectors.

I sweep in first, and hop back onto the handrail inside. I playfully lean back against the glass and rest my black boots on the rail.

"Going down?" I purr and arch an eyebrow.

Cadell steps inside, selecting our floor. I glance at his face as we descend into the lower floors of the ship. I can see no decipherable emotion in his closed face.

"I don't suppose I could ask what the hell you were doing there?" Cadell finally bites.

"I was" I clench my teeth together. I'd been expecting this interrogation. "I had to see it."

"Reminiscing?" Cadell sounds exasperated. "Leave the past in the past. It's as dead as the air up there."

I tilt my head, and Cadell frowns at me. "I guessed you wouldn't understand such a delicate excursion, with by your robotic emotions."

"The excursion itself was pure stupidity." Cadell snaps. "You must have known that one of them would be lurking around up there. Especially him." He bites. "Especially as I can't trust you to at least fake respect for him."

"He insulted out parents." I offer angrily.

We enter our quarters, and Cadell crosses the room to sink into a chair. "Of course he did. And do you know why? Because he knows he can dig his claws into you with it."

I glare down at my brother, before tugging off my shirt. "If you showed a little more emotion, I'm sure you wouldn't melt."

Cadell doesn't answer me. It infuriates me how hard it is to provoke him some days. My eyes rest on the small black pendant hanging around Cadell's neck. The leather thong that suspends it moves slowly against his throat as he breathes. I make a reckless lunge for the pendant, but my hand is grasped by the wrist. I smirk, wrestling my hand away and moving backwards. "See? You do have some sentimentality in there somewhere."

Cadell's hand curls around the locket. "I didn't say you had to be heartless. You just need to learn to control your emotions a little better."

I walk across the room into the bathroom. "I'm going out." I call as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I trace my fingers lightly over the finger shaped bruises at my throat. I reach for my black leather collar and fasten it around my neck.

"Stay out of trouble." I hear Cadell growl from the next room. "I'm not chasing after you again tonight."

"Did I ask you to chase me?" I count to ten as I reapply my eyeliner. "Cadell, I say this because I care. You need to get laid." I step back and give myself a glance over in the mirror.

"I thought you were going out?" Cadell calls after a while.

When I emerge from the bathroom, Cadell looks up at me. His eyes are heavy with worry. "I need you to find the others."

"I'll find them." I promise before taking my leave. "Let the hunt begin."


@~>~


I stride down the familiar white corridor of the colony. The lighting is dim, small lights embedded in the walls either side of me. Other soldiers pass by, but they don't question me. Once their eyes see the status pinned to my chest, their glances are quick and discreet.

"Middle habitat 50:5GJ."

As the elevator slows to a stop, I step out on to the pseudo turf ground. I've arrived deep in the centre of the vast ship. No light is visible here that isn't artificial. There are various levels to the ship. It was built a long time ago by a falling civilisation, using resources that cost an entire planet it's ecosystem. It was more suitable to think of this as a colony than a mere spaceship. It contained its own ecosystem with both mammal and plant life which has been sustained for centuries. And that's precisely what this ship had become. A whole world contained. Sustained and nourished, like an ant farm behind glass. Living on, blissfully unaware of its existence in relation to higher powers.

As the ship was created, it was taken from the hands of its makers. They were a weak people that had taken their chances in the darkness of space with the last of their resources, rather than face the approaching threat.

But the army wasn't so easy to outrun. The ship was taken - forcibly and had sustained more than civilians ever since. Rather a growing army. A high population of the ship were soldiers, or played a role in the Empire's desires. Some were still only civilians yet, under the Empires' control. There were many different forms of intelligent life, collected from the many different worlds the ship has contacted with... and destroyed. But even when a world died, it seemed to be reborn in some way within the ship. Did that make us destroyers, or creators? Were we Gods, of kinds?

The Empire's soldiers are called the Black Flowers Army. Me and my five companions and siblings, are soldiers amongst thousands of others.
So we go from world to world, wiping whatever is in our path. And as we do, these worlds within a world on the colony grow, like the forests of the lower habitats. The colony is made of levels containing different habitats. The lower habitats are dense with Rheamtion. Completely alien species exist within metres of each other, and the ecosystem adapts to this. Many species quickly die out, and some take years to finally lose their struggle for life amongst the jungle.

Below this level - directly below - is the bowels of the ship. Dark, and rarely illuminated, it's not a place to be seen in. But it's an easy place to not be seen, if that's what you desire. This is the place where activities that are held, aren't discussed out of the shadows. Tonight though, the shadows are providing little cover.

The higher levels of the ship are populated by a melting pot of civilisations, under the Empire's controlling eye.

Above this still, lies the colonies' nucleus. Up there are laboratories, control rooms, training facilities and prisons. Whoever is deemed a considerable threat is held there. All others are held within the ship bowels, although some walk freely down there.

The windows in the higher levels are vast. Sun or moonlight is allowed permanent access up there. Prisoners there are fortunate in that respect. They have the privilege of watching stars.

But tonight, I entertain the idea of venturing a little lower.

@->--

The moonlight rarely shone so brightly through the halls of the lower ship, the areas where its inhabitants preferred the darkness in their businesses. But since they had been docked at this particular planet for several hours, eerie light from two large moons had flooded the corridors.
Rhiamon walked briskly; compelled somehow by this eerie light, but not caring to linger where it wasn't necessary. He entered the garage complex that was on ship, intending on taking a shortcut through it. He heard footsteps approaching and ducked behind a metal pillar. It was never certain who or what you'd find on the colony; caution was always a good option.

A soldier passed by Rhiamon's hiding place and ducked under a metal beam, He fumbled in his jacket for his keys, passing vehicles as he went. Strips of light shone down in parallel; the moonlight passing through the grid of metal ceiling beams. The metal of the cars and bikes seemed like gorged light trapped beneath glass. Rhiamon recognised the man as an officer by the name of Godbeck.
Godbeck approached a motorbike, parked half in the shadows. He drew to a sudden halt.

A young man was draped over the length of the officer's bike, his face nestled against the leather. Trystan's long dark hair fell in thick strands over the metal. His bleached white shirt rode up beneath his stomach.

The officer couldn't draw his transfixed gaze. He frowned angrily. "Get off my bike!" He yelled. "Now!"

Rhiamon stared from his place in the shadows, equally transfixed.

Trystan drew a heavy gaze to the officer, eyelids darkened with kohl. He smiled, nuzzling his face against the leather seat with a snip of a purr. "I love your bike." He drawled. His exposed torso softly blazed ashen, disappearing into tight black trousers.

Godbeck advanced a step, his expression held part intrigue and part disgust. "What makes you think I'm like you?"

Trystan's face shone where there were no shadows, and he flushed faint colour on his milk cheeks. The officer advanced again, stepping further into the light towards his bike. There were scars to mar his appearance, and they were blushed softly. The soldier reached a trembling hand towards the youth.

"Get off my bike." The soldier's hand reached Trystan, and dragged carefully through tangled black hair. Trystan lifted his torso upwards, and the soldier closed in. His hand suddenly grasped Trystan's hair at the scruff of his neck, holding him rigidly. Trystan half gasped, but smirked. The soldier drew in, his breath ghosting over Trystan's lips.

"Don't get any ideas" The officer snarled quietly. "I'm not like you."

Rhiamon stepped further back into the shadows and intently watched Godbeck's hands roam beneath his friend's shirt.

@->--

Rhiamon stood outside the complex, hidden in the shadows while he waited for Trystan. There were eventually murmurs in the dark. Rhiamon's head moved, trying to locate the voices. He could just make out Cadell's brother stood in what little shadows were left. He could see flashes of porcelain skin, and the soft glow of a leather jacket.

Trystan's head bolted up and stared in his direction. Rhiamon knew he had been seen. In seconds, Trystan muttered something assertively to his companion, and strode towards Rhiamon.

"It won't do your reputation any good to be hanging around down here." Rhiamon mused.

"I had loose ends. So loose, it seems my acquaintance has made himself scarce." Trystan mused, glancing behind him.

Rhiamon glanced back after the officer ducking into the shadows.

Cadell's brother grinned. "No point in delighting ourselves with the scenery around here any longer, then."

Rhiamon set his pace to match the shorter man. Cadell was broadly built, but Trystan on the other hand, was slender but finely toned.

He often wondered what Trystan's parents had looked like. Had Trystan and Cadell's different father's been the result of such a difference in their sons?

Trystan looked deep in thought tonight, as he sometimes did when he didn't realise anyone was studying him. Not that Rhiamon was studying him, as such. Just, at these moments, he felt privileged for Trystan to let his guards down around him. It was unusual to say the least in their situation. Trusting another soldier here was not advisable. But the deep trust that locked the youths within it ran deep in their blood.

He watched the way Trystan walked with one finger loosely in a belt hoop of his trousers, his black eyed gaze gazing intently on everything, as though it were the most important thing he'd seen yet. "Well, now we know where half of the pack is." Trystan remarked suddenly. "Cadell's sulking in his quarters, and you and I are together." He drew to a halt, soft creases appearing in his brow.

"I see. We're missing three."

"Cadell's asking after them." Trystan said. "He looks stressed. Besides, I owe him a favour."

"Why?"

Trystan collected his answer. It finally appeared as a grin. "We had a little run-in with, ah a lapdog."

Rhiamon frowned. "Who?"

"Lilias." He flicked the exaggeration with his tongue.

"Damn it, Trystan. Was Cadell with you?"

Trystan snorted softly. "Yes, Cadell came to the rescue. All broad shoulders and cavalry charge."

Rhiamon's lips were thin. "Good." Cadell was rising rapidly in rank within the army. He was gaining privilege and status.

"He can't be touched, right?" Trystan's eyes had a gleam of something in them. He seemed aware of this in himself, and looked away. "At least his authority means we're more secure in this damn place. Especially for the girls."

"They'd kill you if they heard you."

Trystan stared at Rhiamon curiously. He stepped towards the taller youth, reaching out a hand to finger Rhiamon's chin length hair. "I can't get used to seeing you with short hair. It looks good, though... It suits you."

"I'm glad my hair was the only thing to be cut. I was lucky that they missed."

Trystan smiled. "Now, you look taken. Do you have someone already?"

Rhiamon looked away. "We need to start looking for the girls." He reminded his companion. "Let's split up. We'll double our chances."

"Ok, fine." Trystan elaborately stretched before slinking back into the shadows.

@~>~