why is it that each passing day manages to suck more than the one before it?
i'm really getting tired of this.
something needs to give. now.
i feel so terrible for a lot of reasons.
i didn't go out for Zarina's birthday as i was supposed to and now i feel like a big asshole because i'm just another one who let her down for her birthday. i tried, i really did, but i couldn't find your house dear. i stood outside on the street for 20 minutes trying to figure out what house it was. i was postive there was an 8 and a 4. or a 3. i guessed and rang twice but no one answered. and then i was just going to go to the bar but i remembered you telling me two different places and i didn't know if it was the same place with a different name or something and then i just got so frusterated that i went home. i'm sorry. i'm a terrible fucking person.
on the way home, there was a man on the subway who looked exactly like my dad. a bit younger, but identical. it wasn't until about ten minutes of staring at this man had passed that i remembered that my dad has a brother. my dad was given up for adoption at birth and his mother never wanted to meet him. therefore he never met this brother of his, he only knew he existed. that was him. i know it. and i wanted so badly to say something to him but how could i approach a total stranger with a topic such as this without looking completely mental? that could have been the only existing family that my dad would ever have known. after this thought popped into my head, woodbine rolled around and i had to get off the subway. just in time for me to burst into tears.
i should have said something.
but i suppose now i'll never know.
he was fucking identical...
i'm really getting tired of this.
something needs to give. now.
i feel so terrible for a lot of reasons.
i didn't go out for Zarina's birthday as i was supposed to and now i feel like a big asshole because i'm just another one who let her down for her birthday. i tried, i really did, but i couldn't find your house dear. i stood outside on the street for 20 minutes trying to figure out what house it was. i was postive there was an 8 and a 4. or a 3. i guessed and rang twice but no one answered. and then i was just going to go to the bar but i remembered you telling me two different places and i didn't know if it was the same place with a different name or something and then i just got so frusterated that i went home. i'm sorry. i'm a terrible fucking person.
on the way home, there was a man on the subway who looked exactly like my dad. a bit younger, but identical. it wasn't until about ten minutes of staring at this man had passed that i remembered that my dad has a brother. my dad was given up for adoption at birth and his mother never wanted to meet him. therefore he never met this brother of his, he only knew he existed. that was him. i know it. and i wanted so badly to say something to him but how could i approach a total stranger with a topic such as this without looking completely mental? that could have been the only existing family that my dad would ever have known. after this thought popped into my head, woodbine rolled around and i had to get off the subway. just in time for me to burst into tears.
i should have said something.
but i suppose now i'll never know.
he was fucking identical...
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s'later.
Here, I am sending out love vibes in your direction. catch!
xip