dylan

I'm back.
I went back up home because I was sick of being miserable.
Saturday and Sunday I stayed with a friend. Saturday night we went to Rock City - I had no money and couldn't afford to get pissed, but actually had a good night anyway (please note - I don't need to get pissed to have a good night out, but if you're at Rock City it helps). It got better once I left the main room and went downstairs, downstairs plays the music I can stand listening to, plus there are less underage goths dancing like retards. Though you can't stand on the balcony and piss yourself laughing as you watch five of em in a circle doing the head shakey feet stompy backwards and forwards wobbly marching and agonised expression thing to Disturbed. Heheheh.

Sunday I had a good day until one of those conversations that makes you worry about stuff and feel insecure and like shit. It's still bothering me, even though I know...bah, it's complicated.

Monday I finally did it. I went back to my Dad's house. I haven't been back since I left for uni, since um, I don't get on with him, I see no point, and he's filled the house with his girlfriend and her kids, Matt, Tom and Ellie. Who are heinous.
I got there early, and went in, to be greeted by Sian. Who is my dad's girlfriends eldest sons's girlfriend, and she hated me in school. So that was a good welcome home.

I went up to my room to hide, only to find that my sister appears to have gone Communist and has been generously redistributing all my possessions. All my stuff had been gone through and most of my clothes, jewellery, make up and a lot of cds had gone. So I went to her room in an attempt to recover what I could, and came back with armfuls of my belongings. I could cope with most of this as my clothes were mainly ones i'd left behind as I didn't need them, ditto jewellery etc, but my cds...agh. I have a huge cd collection and could only bring about a quarter of it with me. I hid my favourite bits of the rest. Only she'd found them. And I could kill her, she's been pretending they're hers and lending them to her friends, she's lost the boxes to a lot of cds and the cds to a lot of boxes, she's broken two cds and almost all the cases, she's lost rare promotional stuff I have and trashed signed things. I was feeling low and miserable and this ind of tipped me over the edge and I just cried a lot.

Then she came back and I attempted to ask for my stuff back, and she did the obnoxious townie "Whatev-arrrrr" thing and those slack jawed face and hand movements, and then had a go at me for being angry she'd trashed my stuff.
(It feels especially personal since she steals stuff that is of no use to her, like notebooks full of my drawings and notes to remember and memories and particularly nice messages people have sent me and doodles)
Maybe I'm overreacting (Note- that was just a disclaimer. I do not actually feel in any way that I am overreacting, as the nasty little bitch has never worked for a thing in her life, yet I've had part time jobs since I was 13 and have paid for all my things myself, and she's been doing this ever since we were kids. Plus I tried to be nice and gave her a whole bunch of my stuff before I left, in the vague hope it'd stop her trashing the rest).

I was meant to stay there two nights, but after the awkwardness of 7 people eating a takeaway in 5 different rooms because it's so weird there, I didn't have it in me.
So then I went to my mum's, which was a bit boring because there's nothing to do, but really lovely and made me feel a bit better because she's great and my stepdad's nice and she made me nice food and mothered me for a bit. She made a chicken dinner with potatoes and gravy and veg etc etc because she knows I can't be bothered to cook meals and I miss mashed potato, and also this really nice quiche she makes with feta cheese and peas and basil and which I could happily eat every day for the rest of my life.

The Friday Night Project is a big pile of shite.
I only have one word to describe Jimmy Carr, and it's 4 letters long and begins with 'c'.
Sorry.

I got back Thursday (why the fuck is a single train ticket the same price as a return?) and went to see 65daysofstatic with Zaid. I went to the cash point before we left, and found out I have no money. I'm over my overdraft limit - I made sure I left a tenner in there, but I seem to have had some direct debit thing take 20 somehow. Hmmm...
In the end Zaid was supernice and just paid for my drinks and the taxi and a wonderful huge portion of chips and cheese with mayonnaise I need to get money out of my other bank account but to get to the bank I have to get the bus into town, and I don't have enough money for the bus fare. Bah.
They were great, as always, and I'll probably go see them in Nottingham on the 16th cus Paul said he could put me on the guestlist (and I have a return train ticket back up there thanks to train prices being stupid).
We got back and played Mortal Kombat for about 3 hours. because that's how cool we are. We tried to get Braindead to work cus he hasn't seen it, but a combination of a truly shit video player and an ancient battered video didn't go well and we couldn't tune it in (for reasons best known to itself the video player has to be tuned in every time you use it). How am I to spread the zombie love if I can't get my videos to work? I'm too poor for dvds. Or, if I say 'retro' instead of poor, I can pretend to be really cool. Ditto for my cassette walkman.

One of my friends used to 'affectionately' call me ratmonkey. Isn't that sweet of him?
I got no sleep and then was woken up at half eight because they're STILL doing building work in my flat. I dunno what's he's doing other than being loud and singing to himself at the top of his voice (how is anyone that cheerful in the morning? I'm only that happy in the morning if I'm getting laid). He knocked on my door to ask if he could "do my door" so I said yeah and got dressed ish and wandered into the kitchen. I'm still unsure what he actually did to my door, but I don't like to ask.
Can anyone recommend a good tattooist in Brighton? I know of some places but I have no idea what they're like.
This has been a really long and complainy entry. I apologise.
So, things that are good - Charley's set went up, I have leftover Easter chocolate, I've rediscovered Rollercoaster Tycoon, I have a shockingly nice testimonial from Crackerman who is one of my real life best friends even if I never see him and is obviously delusional (thank you - the cheque's in the mail), I have some books.

So...enough about me, how're you?