Today I spent hours wandering around the Lanes in Brighton trying to find a shop called She Said which apparently is near Saks hairdressers, and doesn't exist when I'm trying to find it.
As a last ditch attempt I asked a middle aged Italian woman in a shop I was in.
Me: "Do you know where I can find Saks?"
Lady: "Where you can find sex?"
Me: "No no! SAKS"
Lady: "SEX?"
Me: "uh, it doesn't matter"
Lady: "I ask my husband..."
Me: "no, no..."
Lady: "MARCO! THIS GIRL WANT TO KNOW WHERE SHE FIND SEX!"
Why oh why does stuff like this always happen to me?
I'm watching a programme about Aileen Wuornos and it's incredibly depressing.
I still have a fridge full of vegetables bought in an optimistic moment and I am determined not to let them rot this time. Hence I've had stir fry again. What the hell else can I do with a bunch of vegetables?
Had an eye test and my eyes have got worse, again. At this rate I'll be blind in a few years.
I had things to say, and I've forgotten them all.
I have essays to do and I can't be bothered.
So instead I've spent the evening singing along horribly out of tune with Alfie, and chatting to Kat and Michelle, and watching Desperate Housewives (I love Lynette), and playing internet pool with Will and complaining about how sad we are, and drinking lots and lots and lots of tea.
Hmm. More random facts about myself? It fills up space, anyway...
...I broke my nose about 4 years ago. You know how at Lazer Quest they tell you not to run? There's a reason for that. Basically I ran fast down what I thought was a tunnel, but what turned out to be, um, a wall. I peeled off it in the dazed manner of a Looney Tunes cartoon.
My friend found me a bit later curled up in a ball on the floor with a circle of little obnoxious boys shooting at me.
...I can't watch Beavis and Butthead without finding myself going "huhhuhh...uhuhuhuh...uhuhuuuhhhuhhuhh" along with it.
...I really hate when mascara adverts blatantly use fake eyelashes in their advertising.
...I can't drive, but I sort of own a Ford Escort. I hate cars.
...Marmite is the shizzle. I was trying to explain the difference between Marmite and vegemite to Adam in the Supermarket the other day and the best I could do was "um, well, this one is in a yellow jar, and has a V in it, and this is in a fat round jar and doesn't have a V in it...and this one is 10p cheaper" then some guy behind me yelled "Vegemite is shite!".
...I would cheerfully ring Scrappy Doo's neck. The little shit.
...I'm a terrible insomniac. My sleeping pattern is screwed and I can't get it back to normal because little noises disturb me, so I have to wait til everyone else is alseep. Including the weirdo in the flat above me who likes to open and close his wardrobe and drawers and bathroom door repeatedly at 3 in the morning EVERY morning. Why? I have no idea.Current theories involve sleepwalking and OCD.
...I can raise my eyebrows individually, also curl both sides of my top lip, and I can cross each eye without crossing the other. mmm...sexy.
...I'm watching some bizarre programme where this guy is putting dogs on treadmills and playing Shaggy and the Scorpions at them and seeing how fast they run. It's apparently to see how different types of music makes people work. I see many many problems with this test. And the poor mutt looks traumatised.
...I've always wanted dreadlocks but I'm too scared to do it.
...I chew my lips and they're always nibbled no matter how much vaseline I paste them with.
...I love those gross shots where you pour Baileys into like peach schnapps or something and it congeals and looks like a brain floating in brain juice...
...I haven't seen a decent film that's actually cared me in years. I am disillusioned by horror movies. Especially new American ones, they're shit.
...I love love.
...I have notebooks that I think are so nice I haven't written in them, because I have nothing of worth to put in them and it seems a waste to fill their pristine pages with just any old crap.
...I love South Park. Every episode I get to think "oohhhh...maybe they went too far with that one..." but hey, it's fucking hilarious.
...Guybrush Threepwood is the man. And those of you who know who I mean, I love you
xx
As a last ditch attempt I asked a middle aged Italian woman in a shop I was in.
Me: "Do you know where I can find Saks?"
Lady: "Where you can find sex?"
Me: "No no! SAKS"
Lady: "SEX?"
Me: "uh, it doesn't matter"
Lady: "I ask my husband..."
Me: "no, no..."
Lady: "MARCO! THIS GIRL WANT TO KNOW WHERE SHE FIND SEX!"
Why oh why does stuff like this always happen to me?
I'm watching a programme about Aileen Wuornos and it's incredibly depressing.
I still have a fridge full of vegetables bought in an optimistic moment and I am determined not to let them rot this time. Hence I've had stir fry again. What the hell else can I do with a bunch of vegetables?
Had an eye test and my eyes have got worse, again. At this rate I'll be blind in a few years.
I had things to say, and I've forgotten them all.
I have essays to do and I can't be bothered.
So instead I've spent the evening singing along horribly out of tune with Alfie, and chatting to Kat and Michelle, and watching Desperate Housewives (I love Lynette), and playing internet pool with Will and complaining about how sad we are, and drinking lots and lots and lots of tea.
Hmm. More random facts about myself? It fills up space, anyway...
...I broke my nose about 4 years ago. You know how at Lazer Quest they tell you not to run? There's a reason for that. Basically I ran fast down what I thought was a tunnel, but what turned out to be, um, a wall. I peeled off it in the dazed manner of a Looney Tunes cartoon.
My friend found me a bit later curled up in a ball on the floor with a circle of little obnoxious boys shooting at me.
...I can't watch Beavis and Butthead without finding myself going "huhhuhh...uhuhuhuh...uhuhuuuhhhuhhuhh" along with it.
...I really hate when mascara adverts blatantly use fake eyelashes in their advertising.
...I can't drive, but I sort of own a Ford Escort. I hate cars.
...Marmite is the shizzle. I was trying to explain the difference between Marmite and vegemite to Adam in the Supermarket the other day and the best I could do was "um, well, this one is in a yellow jar, and has a V in it, and this is in a fat round jar and doesn't have a V in it...and this one is 10p cheaper" then some guy behind me yelled "Vegemite is shite!".
...I would cheerfully ring Scrappy Doo's neck. The little shit.
...I'm a terrible insomniac. My sleeping pattern is screwed and I can't get it back to normal because little noises disturb me, so I have to wait til everyone else is alseep. Including the weirdo in the flat above me who likes to open and close his wardrobe and drawers and bathroom door repeatedly at 3 in the morning EVERY morning. Why? I have no idea.Current theories involve sleepwalking and OCD.
...I can raise my eyebrows individually, also curl both sides of my top lip, and I can cross each eye without crossing the other. mmm...sexy.
...I'm watching some bizarre programme where this guy is putting dogs on treadmills and playing Shaggy and the Scorpions at them and seeing how fast they run. It's apparently to see how different types of music makes people work. I see many many problems with this test. And the poor mutt looks traumatised.
...I've always wanted dreadlocks but I'm too scared to do it.
...I chew my lips and they're always nibbled no matter how much vaseline I paste them with.
...I love those gross shots where you pour Baileys into like peach schnapps or something and it congeals and looks like a brain floating in brain juice...
...I haven't seen a decent film that's actually cared me in years. I am disillusioned by horror movies. Especially new American ones, they're shit.
...I love love.
...I have notebooks that I think are so nice I haven't written in them, because I have nothing of worth to put in them and it seems a waste to fill their pristine pages with just any old crap.
...I love South Park. Every episode I get to think "oohhhh...maybe they went too far with that one..." but hey, it's fucking hilarious.
...Guybrush Threepwood is the man. And those of you who know who I mean, I love you
xx
VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
mro:
Have I misunderstood your comment? Did you indicate you have witnessed a threesome between a cow, a sheep and a rabbit?????? 
its_matt:
did you find the sex? 