dylan

Time for tea.

I should be busy but I just received a large parcel in the post from my mum who has in her usual rather lovely manner taken the time to send me snack products (she labours under the delusion that I'm going to waste away one of these days, bless - as anyone who has ever seen me eat knows that's hardly likely to happen any time this side of 2050, I have fat stores in my hula hips to last generations) and what better excuse for a sit down and internet time wasting session than a brand new packet of mini eggs?

Also in the parcel I received a selection of mildly embarrassing photos of me, my sister and my mum splashing around most un-aquabatically with some rather cheerful looking dolphins (I guess maybe now is the time to mention I went to the Bahamas) and some fancy face cream samples (mum also labours under the delusion that I know the difference between day and night cream and the various other types of cream, creme, milk, lotion and balm that could possibly be applied to my currently rather mucky chops).

Last night I went to see Bob Log III again, warm welcome from ex-colleagues at the club, Javier the neolithic doorman covered the entire back of my right hand in magic marker, grinning to himself from under his eyebrows and muttering "eez hand-stamp, everyone musts have hand-stamp" when I squealed in protest. Of course I somehow slept on my hand and woke up with my left cheek covered in magic marker, and have so far been unable to remove it. I look like a sooty faced extra from Oliver Twist. Bob Log was good, he's the crazy dude who dresses in a motorbike helmet and jumpsuit with a telephone receiver stuck to the front for a microphone. Blues riffs and back chat.

So the Bahamas yeah? Well it was, you know, nice. What can I say, really? It's how it looks, how it looks in the improbably neon and peacock blue pictures in the glossy brochures. Driving through Nassau we passed a Christian Scientist building next door to a Synagogue next door to a Lutherian church next door to a liquor store. I guess it's as good as religion for a lot of people. Dead dog frying in the heat on the side of the road. Bus stops in icing pink and white clapboard like Vegas wedding chapels with good ol' boys resting out in the afternoon heat. Saw Shakespeares head in the clouds. Our guide was a crazy lady called Joanna who had wild wiry grey and black hair and took a real shine to me, and I to her, she had degrees in Anthropology and Archaeology and I could have talked to her for the rest of my life and never got bored. She took us down into a cool underground cave filled with light ripples reflecting from the green blue water below and told us of the fifteen Lucayan Indian skeletons that rest in the next chamber. The islands are so flat you can see the horizon level like you're in the centre of a disc all the way round, the highest point on Nassau is the speed bump outside the general store, ha. The night we left Port Canaveral was the night a space shuttle was launched from the Kennedy Space Centre and 20 miles out at sea we saw it leaving earth, arcing up into the blue leaving Chinese dragon curled clouds behind it reflecting the light from the setting sun and slowly fading the white to orange red and yellow. Boat names are like fridge magnets, play the game of sticking them together and making poetry or sentences, see: 'unforgettable bad girl dreams'. I learned from an eight year old boy in the most opulent aquarium I've seen that you can tell a sting ray because they have two heads, nicely demonstrated by the ten foot monster soaring behind us. The water in the harbour is so clear you can see right to the bottom by moonlight. We cliched ourselves out by swimming with dolphins in a place called Blue Lagoon, we had alleged celebrities on our side including matey from Flipper, the dolphin handler guys all love the tourist girls and spend their days idling by the lagoon eyeing up anyone in a bikini and sending the dolphins to fish for shells to impress them. We left the lagoon in a catamaran with the white froth streaming out behind us past all the houses on the shore, as you curve around the bay each building gets more and more over the top and luxurious, they all have their own private docks, boathouses and beautiful water-front verandas. We visited Atlantis to gawp at the millionaires playing cards in their yachts sipping champagne over their hands and lapping up the attention. Loved Ardastra Gardens and was headbutted by a flamingo, got freaked out by the way their legs bend. It's like pick up sticks when a bunch of them sit together. Fed parrots apple from between my fingers and watched curl tailed lizards scatter as people walked along the sun baked paths. Strobing trees, properties destroyed in the hurricanes and never rebuilt, shanties with burned out pick ups in their yards next to billionaire playhouses. 'Howell Davis stole a sloop in Nassau and declared war on the world'. That was one of my favourite sentences of the trip. Learned it in a pirate museum. Too much to say, have left it too long. Departure lounge on the way back, a persistent alarm had been peevishly blaring for half an hour or more blending into the background as just one in a long list of late evening in the airport annoyances: abruptly it stopped and with a smattering of applause thirty crumpled travellers raised their voices together in a sleep sodden cheer the way children do when someone drops a plate in the lunch room at school - clearly we were English, and we were going home.






There was a hair show last week, it was fun aside from the standing around not talking with no belongings in high heels. That bit (and that bit lasted for at least three hours) was rubbish. But I got fancy hair out of it.
Ok so it doesn't exactly look like this NOW, being as me and my spazzy T Rex arms can't replicate lovely Louisa's work and it's reverted to its usual haystack state, but it's orange, and this pleases me. One of the best bits of the show was seeing Phinn there, and she won a prize for her work! And well deservedly too, hers was by far one of my favourites of the night.

So much stuff has been going on and I'm busy busy busy, but I like the times when I ride the rollercoaster and I know it'll be this way until I crash, and when that happens I'll spend a month in my house not speaking to anyone so...I'm going to enjoy the balancing act while it's fun. I think the crash is a long way off yet. Summer's on the way yet and I have that to look forward to...and also the prospect of spending my savings in one or two frivolous goes to have times of a lifetime, so stupid but so so tempting...anyone want a kidney? I can get you a fair price...I'm just waffling now and my tea is gone and I have to get showered and dressed and get out to the pub.
I'm happy. Sickeningly happy today, I've annoyed my colleagues by being sunshine and light while I should by rights have been as grumpy with work as they are. Two of them caught me doing the Jarvis Cocker dance to the radio when I thought nobody could see and nearly wet themselves laughing, it was quite embarrassing though not as embarrassing as me ending up on the floor covered in packets of letter N with a bent fingernail. Not quite as embarrassing as being accused of flirting with the postman because 'he's cheerful now, and he didn't used to be'. Not quite as embarrassing as keep having to do the walk of shame at work in yesterdays clothes and make up from not going home when I meant to. Or quite as embarrassing as realising once I got off the bus that my dress was on inside out. It's the sunshine, and the company. It's misleading to say I met someone when I've known them a long time but someone new to eat croissants with is just one more thing to be happy about.

I'm reading Bad Night by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips, it's excellent, and Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon which is good but is not grabbing me to the extent that I am seeing through the pages.

I am going to a fancy dress party, the theme is children's book/film/tv characters. I want to incorporate my new hair. I am thinking April O'Neil or Minnie the Minx or Poison Ivy. Anyone got any better ideas?