dvlgrl

it's bright n sunnie outside. i HATE that. i need some good thunder n lightning n RAIN! i love rain, it feels so good n cleansing. why do i need gawd n baptismal fonts when i have good old fashioned RAIN? it's the best when it hasn't hit yet, but you know it's coming cuz you can smell the earth-the greenness and must of dirt just getting damp n coming to life n strangely, yes, the smell of wet asphalt. makes me hot n crazy. my crazy neighbor once, years ago, called the police on me...cuz i was standing outside in the rain!!!

...ooh! and dusk! my fave time of day. dusk is when my little bats come out to feed n i get to see them sweeping about getting rid of insects. they are so cool to watch. my happiest memories of my crazy mom are of her calling out to me when i was really small, telling me to come n see the bats in our back yard. it was amazing! me n mommie n the bats. that right there might be heaven. at dusk, the sky does some amazing things. the colors are stunning and almost disturbing at moments. i was driving home in traffic one night on the 134 from hollywood to the valley n the sky was insane! the sunset was purple, but i swear the air itself ws purple. everything, all the other cars, the trees on the side of the freeway, everything looked as though i was watching it through a purple filter. i didn't want to get home-i was enthralled. dusk makes everything surreal ~ like yer not quite sure about an objects real color n things just seem hazy, almost like they are fading in n out of your consciousness, like yer looking at a memory.

yeah, rain n dusk...they make things perfect. so why do i stay in southern california? i like summer nights here, but damned if the days don't make me want to slash my wrists.

why do i stay? ummmm, easy access to vanessa n jenner n disneyland n pinks hotdogs n ummm, yeah, that's about it. so the reason i'm still here is because my venssa n jenner both have families that they would never dream of leaving so i could never drag them away from so cal.