dryad

Today after work, I went to the mall. After buying a hair flower to match my bridesmaid's dress and a super totally awesome black hoodie with silver foil stars on it (that doesn't quite match my dress, but I'll be bringing it anyway) we took a bathroom break.

The bathrooms in this mall are down a long corridor, cut off from the rest of the world. There is a men's room, a women's room, and a family room. For those not wishing to use the facilities, there is a bench-couch to sit on. I sat myself there. Walking down the hallway at the same time as us was this family. The older boy was probably about 8, and he marched on in to the men's room the same time as Jay. The two women and the younger boy (around 5 or 6 years old) headed to the women's room, and not the family room.

"Jake, do you want to come in here with us? You can hold our bags."
"Can't I just sit out here?"
"No, I don't want someone taking you home without us."

This is not such an odd statement, in and of itself. However, I was the only person around. There was nobody else even in the hallway leading to the bathrooms, let alone the "foyer." So... this woman was not-so-subtley implying that I - sweet little ol' me - was going to kidnap her son.

Lady, I don't want your kid. I don't want anybody's kid. If I wanted a kid, I'd have one. But thanks for assuming that your precious boy is so super totally awesome that I'd steal him. We won't even go into the problem you have with forcing a child to go into the restroom with you. If he's old enough to protest, he's old enough to stay outside. Which means he's also old enough to put up a fight if I for some reason did want to try take him. And I don't.

So that's why I stole the other little boy.

Just kidding.

Maybe.