I enjoy porn...
I know this may be a bit weird to just come out and say on a site like this.
You might say "Doc, this is somewhat of a porn site! You must like naked ladies or something"
And I would say "Yes, you fools, that's why I started this post like that!"
But wait a fucking minute reader or whoever.
I mean I like porn. Not just for getting off, or starting up the motor for an amorous evening. I, at times, use it for background noise.
Like tonight.
I am cleaning the house (I know! I as a husband am welcoming The Wife back after a week to a house that is cleaner than when she left it. What kind of fucking husband does that? The same kind that also does the laundry and makes sure to water the fucking plants!) And I have Spotify blasting in one room, Kung Fu Pussy on in the living room, and some random thing called Seek and Destroy in the master bedroom.
And I am cleaning the house. And drinking strawberry daqaries. And eating Jello made with cotton candy vodka. I am straight, I assure you. The Spotify is playing MotorHead at the moment. The theme song for Triple H from WWE.
But back to what I was fucking saying at the beginning.
I like porn as background noise.
I could just switch it to Simpsons or Discovery Channel I know, but for some reason I actually will stop and sit down and watch that. Get caught up in the story or something blowing up.
But porn. I can glance at it and see something I'm expecting. Or not quite expecting like two punk chicks sucking off a guy dressed as a demonic bunny...
"But Mr. Wholigan," you'll say, "how the fuck can you not stop and watch that? And what the fuck is that by the way!?!"
"Its DOCTOR!" I'll say. "I have a Doctor of Divinity from the Universal Life Church, and you will treat me with the respect I deserve. Which is minimal!"
And that scene is from Seek and Destroy. Really. Some guy dressed in a big Furry rabbit costume with a red Pentagram spray painted on his chest and his willy sticking out the furry pants getting sucked off by two chicks in mohawks. Fucking awesome.
But it ends with the popshot and I continue cleaning. No problem. On to the next room. Vacuum. Dust. Watch James Deen fuck someone dressed like a ninja? What the fuck is this shit?
However, I must remind you that I have partaken of some awesome rainbow jello that taste of greatness and burning.
But the Strawberry tastes divine right now.
-Doc
I know this may be a bit weird to just come out and say on a site like this.
You might say "Doc, this is somewhat of a porn site! You must like naked ladies or something"
And I would say "Yes, you fools, that's why I started this post like that!"
But wait a fucking minute reader or whoever.
I mean I like porn. Not just for getting off, or starting up the motor for an amorous evening. I, at times, use it for background noise.
Like tonight.
I am cleaning the house (I know! I as a husband am welcoming The Wife back after a week to a house that is cleaner than when she left it. What kind of fucking husband does that? The same kind that also does the laundry and makes sure to water the fucking plants!) And I have Spotify blasting in one room, Kung Fu Pussy on in the living room, and some random thing called Seek and Destroy in the master bedroom.
And I am cleaning the house. And drinking strawberry daqaries. And eating Jello made with cotton candy vodka. I am straight, I assure you. The Spotify is playing MotorHead at the moment. The theme song for Triple H from WWE.
But back to what I was fucking saying at the beginning.
I like porn as background noise.
I could just switch it to Simpsons or Discovery Channel I know, but for some reason I actually will stop and sit down and watch that. Get caught up in the story or something blowing up.
But porn. I can glance at it and see something I'm expecting. Or not quite expecting like two punk chicks sucking off a guy dressed as a demonic bunny...
"But Mr. Wholigan," you'll say, "how the fuck can you not stop and watch that? And what the fuck is that by the way!?!"
"Its DOCTOR!" I'll say. "I have a Doctor of Divinity from the Universal Life Church, and you will treat me with the respect I deserve. Which is minimal!"
And that scene is from Seek and Destroy. Really. Some guy dressed in a big Furry rabbit costume with a red Pentagram spray painted on his chest and his willy sticking out the furry pants getting sucked off by two chicks in mohawks. Fucking awesome.
But it ends with the popshot and I continue cleaning. No problem. On to the next room. Vacuum. Dust. Watch James Deen fuck someone dressed like a ninja? What the fuck is this shit?
However, I must remind you that I have partaken of some awesome rainbow jello that taste of greatness and burning.
But the Strawberry tastes divine right now.
-Doc