As the title says, I never post here. Then again, I never post anywhere for that matter. It's been such a long time since I really gave it any thought, to just let pent up letters come out of my mind one after the other. I'm grateful that it's happening, because it's healthy to release the fluff that we gather on the walk of life.
This might be the only one I make, but at the time of writing, it seemed like a good idea, it might be cliche, it might be whatever you call it, but since you've read it this far, I suppose I already got your attention, right?
Feel free to see if it's worth more of it.
Change is afoot, it always is, and as I get older I begin to notice it more. I'm not sure if this is because I become more scared, and as the comfort zones fall down, it becomes more and more apparent that there is not control over anything in the end. We do the things we do out of a process of years of various tutoring, conditioning and choices that have shaped us to whom we are as we stand right now.
The bottom line is that I get frightened, like a small child stuck in a big sea of uncertainty. I think to myself day after day, 'whats next', 'what if', etc. I suppose this is just anxiety, heaven knows we get it most of the time, yet again after being pushed in to a more unnatural state than we're supposed to be in.
But then, when I dare to think ahead of that fear, I look in to the sky, or down in to the soil where the flowers and grass grows, I see that there's nothing to worry about. This vast world, whether its components be small, or unimaginably big, will continue to revolve, the universe that it sits in will continue to exist, and even when the universes time is over, something will be one way or the other.
I look to these things not for guidance, but in a sense of relief that no matter how much I worry about something, in the end, everything will balance out through chaos and order, as it always has done. The world and its problems will one day disappear, and the elements that make it what it is will become part of something else. It's a grand circle of destruction and renewal, which brings me full circle to ourselves.
For each destruction we encounter, big or small, perhaps we can seize the opportunity to be reborn, or at least see a new door open that we can walk through.
I don't know if we have a set purpose, nor do I know if we simply live life and search for a purpose. But I do know that we are here, now. And for each passage of time, be it earlier or later, doesn't really matter in the end.
Just be. Because that's all nothing ever wanted.
Thanks everyone.