in the past 2 weeks, i have finished my job with CVS, flew to Atlanta for a friend halloween wedding, explored downtown (coke world, georgia aquarium) and ate Gladys Knights Chicken and Waffles, and have spent time with my high school buddies. This Saturday I'll be starting with my dream company, Publix. In the meantime, I am starting my healthy routine with exercising (ie,walking/jogging) 3 times a week and eating 1200 cal/day. Mostly paleo.
i've been thinking a lot lately about where i am. especially after visiting Atlanta and seeing somewhat of a autumn. it was beautiful. the breeze in the am was around 65, and the hills were dotted with reds and yellows. gave you a sense of being small, or being one with nature.
in south florida, it is the opposite. you cant see beyond the stucco house next to you, the beach is forever away from anywhere you can afford to live, and the seasons never change. its summer, all the time. maybe itll get to 70 in january. for a floridian, thats fucking cold.
now, i feel guilt. my fiancee and i never wanted to end up in south florida. after what happened to my dad, i certainly couldnt stay in gainesville and i needed to move back home. it is definitely better here than there beacuse my mom is here and the fiancees mom's family is here. but it stil isnt the paific northwest, which we both love.
but see, if we moved there, we would have no friends or family. i grew up without family besides my parents and my sister. and it sucked, i have no relationships with my extended family. i want to break that cycle. but why cant i break that anywhere else but south florida?
if i were single, id definitely stay here. with my mom and my friends. i lvoe my mom and she has no one else either. we are also starting our own friendship for the first time, so thats nice. if i had kids, id want them to be with her and my fiancees mom, to have those bonds.
but since im not, i feel like i can go anywhere in the world and be ok because i have my fiancee to keep me company and thats enough.
well, we cant do anything now anyways. we are getting married in 15 months and deposits have been paid for a south florida wedding. i am also starting my dream job. plus i just moved and it would b tough to leave my mom at this time.
logic says stay. my heart and soul say go. wtf, me, wtf...
well, we'll wait at least 2 years anyways to see what we want. you nver know where life wil take you..
i've been thinking a lot lately about where i am. especially after visiting Atlanta and seeing somewhat of a autumn. it was beautiful. the breeze in the am was around 65, and the hills were dotted with reds and yellows. gave you a sense of being small, or being one with nature.
in south florida, it is the opposite. you cant see beyond the stucco house next to you, the beach is forever away from anywhere you can afford to live, and the seasons never change. its summer, all the time. maybe itll get to 70 in january. for a floridian, thats fucking cold.
now, i feel guilt. my fiancee and i never wanted to end up in south florida. after what happened to my dad, i certainly couldnt stay in gainesville and i needed to move back home. it is definitely better here than there beacuse my mom is here and the fiancees mom's family is here. but it stil isnt the paific northwest, which we both love.
but see, if we moved there, we would have no friends or family. i grew up without family besides my parents and my sister. and it sucked, i have no relationships with my extended family. i want to break that cycle. but why cant i break that anywhere else but south florida?
if i were single, id definitely stay here. with my mom and my friends. i lvoe my mom and she has no one else either. we are also starting our own friendship for the first time, so thats nice. if i had kids, id want them to be with her and my fiancees mom, to have those bonds.
but since im not, i feel like i can go anywhere in the world and be ok because i have my fiancee to keep me company and thats enough.
well, we cant do anything now anyways. we are getting married in 15 months and deposits have been paid for a south florida wedding. i am also starting my dream job. plus i just moved and it would b tough to leave my mom at this time.
logic says stay. my heart and soul say go. wtf, me, wtf...
well, we'll wait at least 2 years anyways to see what we want. you nver know where life wil take you..
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
bendingunit23:
The west will be here when you're ready. Good luck on your first day at Publix.
druggist:
I appreciate your advice... yeah, i decided sometimes you can't have everything. no one has a perfect life. i have a great job, a great degree, a fiancee and im near family. thats more than many others, so i should just be thankful and continue to live and see where time takes me.