No one is actually reading this, so why am I writing anything???
Because I have nothing to do. Im alone, with a 2 1/2 year old daughter out here in this sick excuse for a town where everyone around here has nothing to do but invade others private affairs, and meddle into things they have no business in.
I miss the city. I miss my hometown of San Diego, but I cant really go back. Cant afford to. Even if I did, I dont have a lot to go back to. I left behind all the hardcore partying, and dont really talk to anyone I use to have allnight sessions with. Going back home to Sacramento wouldnt be so bad, if I didnt have warrants. Just Kidding...If I went back there, I would feel like I failed in some way. All Ive ever wanted to do was make some life for myself, all on my own. I still want to be a musician professionally. Not famous or anything, just be able to make a living, maybe tour with a band, travel a little, meet a few SG's =)
But everyday I spend out here, it feels like none of it will ever happen
I chose to be dad, and its still the best choice Ive ever made. Im living proof that you dont have to make a child to raise one. I never thought I would be doing it on my own, though. Her mom, my best friend/ex/possible future again is off in Air Force training, and its gonna be another 5 months before my little one, Audrey (or Otter, as I call her) gets to see her mom. She is handling all of this 10 times better than I ever expected. Certainly better than I am...
I pine for the days of being able to go out to bars and clubs again, to meet a new group of people each time, without any concern or fear of running into the same busybody idiots who are going to watch everything and everyone I talk to, and spread gossip about it within minutes.
I miss seeing bands. I miss loud music. I miss girls in small shirts with body piercings and sweet tats. I miss talking to someone for hours about all sorts of things from the world to 80's metal bands. I miss intelligent people. I miss sharing a 10 minute kiss with a beautiful girl, just because we shared a love for shots of Jack and agree that John Lennon was the best Beatle...
I miss living...but I try. I do everything I can to keep Otter happy, and to make her life as wonderful as a childs life should be...I just miss adult time
And thats why this SG site is so wonderful...It may only be 2 dimensional, but it helps transport me back to the life that I love, the life that I miss
Oh yeah, and I love looking at beautiful women =)
Because I have nothing to do. Im alone, with a 2 1/2 year old daughter out here in this sick excuse for a town where everyone around here has nothing to do but invade others private affairs, and meddle into things they have no business in.
I miss the city. I miss my hometown of San Diego, but I cant really go back. Cant afford to. Even if I did, I dont have a lot to go back to. I left behind all the hardcore partying, and dont really talk to anyone I use to have allnight sessions with. Going back home to Sacramento wouldnt be so bad, if I didnt have warrants. Just Kidding...If I went back there, I would feel like I failed in some way. All Ive ever wanted to do was make some life for myself, all on my own. I still want to be a musician professionally. Not famous or anything, just be able to make a living, maybe tour with a band, travel a little, meet a few SG's =)
But everyday I spend out here, it feels like none of it will ever happen
I chose to be dad, and its still the best choice Ive ever made. Im living proof that you dont have to make a child to raise one. I never thought I would be doing it on my own, though. Her mom, my best friend/ex/possible future again is off in Air Force training, and its gonna be another 5 months before my little one, Audrey (or Otter, as I call her) gets to see her mom. She is handling all of this 10 times better than I ever expected. Certainly better than I am...
I pine for the days of being able to go out to bars and clubs again, to meet a new group of people each time, without any concern or fear of running into the same busybody idiots who are going to watch everything and everyone I talk to, and spread gossip about it within minutes.
I miss seeing bands. I miss loud music. I miss girls in small shirts with body piercings and sweet tats. I miss talking to someone for hours about all sorts of things from the world to 80's metal bands. I miss intelligent people. I miss sharing a 10 minute kiss with a beautiful girl, just because we shared a love for shots of Jack and agree that John Lennon was the best Beatle...
I miss living...but I try. I do everything I can to keep Otter happy, and to make her life as wonderful as a childs life should be...I just miss adult time
And thats why this SG site is so wonderful...It may only be 2 dimensional, but it helps transport me back to the life that I love, the life that I miss
Oh yeah, and I love looking at beautiful women =)
dasha:
i read it. thanks for the comment on my set. bars and clubs are overrated.