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I wrote a letter to my friend Timmy today. He's on a mission right now and he's located in Paraguey. I was updating him on my whole boy stiuation and I thought it was also a perfect blog entry. So enjoy.

Timmy,

You've got Adrienne mail again! Hah.
I felt like I needed to update you on this whole boy situation. About a week ago Cris (the ex) added me on facebook, so of corse me being me I have to lurk his page. It's a total coincidence that he's texting me at the time that I'm doing this. Our conversation goes like this..

Cris: "Supppp?"
Me: "Waiting till I have to go to work, how bout chu?"
Cris: "Smokin on my ten at work."

-This is where I find something that really upsets me on his facebook about the other girl I told you about. The one I had suspicions he had a thing with. so I decide to quote him.-

Me: "Hate's when Victoria looks so cute!" That's cute."
Cris: "?? Okayy?"
Me: "Just sayin. lol"
-he doesn't reply-
Me: "Bleh.. Remember that day I said my day was interesting but I wouldn't tell you why?"
Cris: "Sure."
Me: "Me and Victoria talked that whole say. We didn't want to tell you we talked. Idk why. She really likes you though.. And by what she was telling me I know you like her too. I'm happy you found someone. Honestly."
Cris: "I don't understand you. You're like, causing a problem for no reason."
Me: "I'm not trying to be mean or a brat. I'm just hurt because I still really like you and you know that. Sigh... I'm just being honest. =/ "

-He doesn't reply for four 4 hours-
12:08 AM Cris: "H8 you."

I don't reply to him. At this point in my head I'm really hurt and I really don't want to give him the time of say. Then at 3:11 PM he tects again with just "...." and I don't reply. I'm not near my phone. Not even 5 minutes after he sent that he sends another texts going "Ohh pkay thennn!" like he's upset I'm not reply back right away. So I text back just saying "Calm down. I wasn't near my phone." then after that conversation wasn't that interesting. I asked him for his parent's addresses so that I could send them Christmas cards that I bought them and he tries to make a game out of it and says "If you're nice " So I'm annoyed and not really wanting to talk to him but I need these addresses so I just say "Pretty please?" and he replies to me with "How do I know you're not just going to be nice until I give you the addresses? ;p" dfjbgzdmbf Ahhh! Right? So I just write back "That's right, you don't. ; ]" and then he just tried to start normal conversation, asking what I'm doing like everything is fine. So I'm short and decide to do some serious work and go looking through phonebooks and using google earth as tools to find his parent's addresses. Which was successful. So I didn't need to talk to him anymore. haha.

So later that night I go to work and when I get off at 12AM I check my phone and I have a text waiting from him that he sent at 11:52 PM and this was the conversation we had from there...

Cris: "Supp?"
Me: "Just got off work."
Cris: "Ohh. Are you still all angry with me?"
Me: "Yeah, a little."
Cris: "Hmmm. Okay then."
Me: "I just need time to get over you now, you know?"
Cris: "I guess. Do you want to straighten this out now or what? Cause I'll let you know my feelings about this whole ordeal."
Me: "Sure."
Cris: "Nevermind."
Me: "No, I really want to know. Honestly."
Cris: "Okay. Well I changed my mind."
Me: "Please? Just be straight forward and say what's on your mind."
Cris: "Why would I even want to attempt and up in an argument and ruin my night?"
Me: "I wasn't planning on an argument. I just wanted to know how you felt." I'll listen to what you have to say and be calm about it. You don't have to let this ruin your night. It would probably be best if we just straightened everything out now."
Cris: "Straighten what out?"
Me: "I was just quoting what you said earlier."
Cris: "Lol. You're difficult."
Me: "Lol, I'm not being difficult. I'm asking you nicely."
Cris: "Alright. Well, why are you even mad at me?"
Me: "I'm mad because I asked you three separate times if there was anything going on with you and Victoria and you told me that you were just kickin it. Then kept saying cute things to me that made me believe you still had feelings for me the way I did for you and I kept holding on to ounces of hope that we would get back together. I guess I just feel like I was neing used in a way, or like you were just keeping me around. And when I saw that on facebook it honestly broke my heart again. I'm just jealous because I still love you. That's why I'm made.

-no reply-
I figure he must just be writing a lot or something so I go take a shower. A half an hour passes by and I decide to text him again. I said "Now what are your feelings?"

So My phone rings, it's him. I pick up and he says "I figure it's better if I call instead of bullshitting over texts." So I say okay and we talk about everything. He doesn't understand what I meant by him texting me cute things making me believe he still had the same feelings for me. So I had to explain and quote him on stuff and he was just all " Oh so I'm not supposed to talk to you like I do everyone else anymore?" so I'm just like.. no! He needed to make it clear that he JUST wanted my friendship. I told himt hat he said really cute things to me that made me happy and smile and all he said was "GOOD! I want you to be happy and smile! I'm sorry that it made you believe different though.." And about when I asked him about Victoria, he said that I only asked him once and that was seriously when they were just hanging out.. but whatever. I know I asked him more than just that one time but I let it slide. I told him that he just should have TOLD me that he moved on and liked someone else. He said that he didn't think he had to tell me and that we broke up 5 months ago, who should he tell me that he likes someone else. I don't know. We were BEST friends before where we would tell each other everything. I'm not used to him keeping big stuff from me so I just figured he would at least just let me know he likes someone else. He could obviously tell I still liked him.. it just doesn't feel fair I guess. He brought up the scrapbook again that I made him for Christmas. He said "When you gave me that scrapbook I really missed you. Not the relationship, just you..." Which led us to the topic of how he would flake on me the past 5 months and not even just try to be my friend at least. Then we talked about just stuff and the break up and blah! Everything. I told him it just really hurts and sucks. He told me he understands and that he's really sorry. He also said that if I got a new boy he would be jealous still, idk. He said that I made him feel like a real asshole after I brought up what I was feeling but I'm glad I finally said what I was feeling to him and that I got everything off my chest. I told him from now on to just be straight forward with me.

A few minutes after we got off the phone he texts me and this was our conversation..

Cris: "Blah."
Me: "Why hello there. Long time no talk."
Cris: "Indeed indeed"
Me: "Thanks for calling though and talking to me about everything. I really appreciate it."
Cris: ""
Me: "=] Just remember I'll always be your best friend. Pinky promise."
Cris: "Maybe...... if I allow it. lolol."
Me: "Lol, you have no choice. Once a Cristopher befriends an Adrienne, it's a forever thing."
Cris: "Hahaha don't be too sure of yourself."
Me: "You said it yourself! "Why would I ever do a stupid thing liek that?"
Cris: "Oh you know. Imagine how much Hunan I'd miss out on. :p"
Me: "Pffft! Using me for the Hunan. :p"
Cris: "Lol, Well you know."

Yeah..
That's a lot I just covered. Sorry it was so long. But now.. I really just don't know how to feel. I'm glad he was straight forward and that we had that talk but I'm sad that now I know there is no hope of getting back together. I need to put myself out there and find a good guy.

I miss youuuu.

Love, Adrienne.