I finally got the truth.
Since my ex wasn't being straight forward with me about his feelings I decide to go to the girl that I had suspicions he has something for now. I figured if he wouldn't tell me the truth she would... and she did.
Me: "Hey, this might be a little weird for you. I don't know. It's kind of hard for me to ask so I'm just going to come out and say it. I don't know what you know about me and Cris but I still really love him and I don't know what his feelings towards me are because he's never straight forwards with me but tells me he gets jealous when I go out and says cute things but then goes back on them with something mean the next day and blehhh. My heart is just being messed with. It's been 4 months now since the break up and I've asked him numerous times before if anything was going on between you two and he swears up and down to me that you guys are just kickin it. I just really wanted to ask you the truth on the whole thing and is that really what it is? If not then knowing about it will definitely help me to move on.
So yeah..
Can you please be the one to tell me the truth? It will really help me out.
And please don't mention to Cris that I talked to you."
Victoria: "Hi, I definitely don't mind you asking me about this, because i would probably do the same thing. I'm sorry that he is like that to you though, i know how that feels because of my ex boyfriend being the same way.
To be honest, I don't really even know what is going on between me and Cris. We hang out a lot but we aren't like dating or anything, soo this information probably isn't to helpful. I like him and everything, but i don't really think that a relationship will build up from it. But yeah, I won't bring this up to him. If you have any more questions, feel freeeee to ask me thoughhh"
Me: "(I noticed this was kind of long I'm sorry)
=/
See I really don't know what to do. He sends me so many mixed signals and and I get mixed feelings. Most of the time he'll send me things where I know he still cares for me. When we broke up he made it sound like it was only going to be temporary. He told me that he just felt like a jerk because he wasn't making any time for me anymore and I was getting really upset over it. He said maybe we can both try being single and see if we are happier. Then he said that he would still send me texts saying goodmorning and stuff because he still loves me and that he would probably regret breaking up with me because I'm an amazing person and girlfriend and his best friend and he doesn't want to loose me all together. He just wants to be single right now.
And then 4 days after that I noticed he started talking to you and it really hurt me because I saw he was sweet on you, but he still for 3 months after that kept coming back to me and saying sweet things to me. I asked him straight up about 3 times if anything was going on and he would just be like "Not reeeaaally, we're just kicking it." So I really just don't know what to feel. Like... is he just keeping me as backup now? I feel like a doormat. It really just sucks because I care for him so much, he's literally what I think about everyday when I wake up first thing in the morning. I really just wish he would be straight forward with me and tell me that he doesn't see us getting back together again. I feel dumb for waiting for him and keeping the hope that I had for this long. He still refuses to come get his stuff. I have some clothes of his, his toother brush, and just little things he's left here and he always makes up excuses not to come get them. He either doesn't have the gas, friend are coming over, or he'll just dodge the conversation and be like "Whyyy do you want me to get my stuff so bad? =[" or just be like "Sure hater!" and then never do it. It's like what the fuck? Why wouldn't he come get his stuff? Does he plan to get back together with me or something?
Even two months after we broke up David told me that him and Cris talked about it and he still thinks I'm the perfect girlfriend but he just wants to be single...
I didn't want to keep holding on and keep believing what Cris tells me and then one day have it all surprise me and he's with someone new. You know? Thank you for telling me your feelings towards him. I'm honestly not mad I'm just really hurt and heartbroken. And the shitty part is that I still love him even after hearing that. And I still don't know if I should move on or not.
So, he obviously likes you too right? Why don't you think a relationship will build up from it?"
Victoria: "Wow, well I am really sorry, I thought you guys had been broken up long before me and Cris even started talking or whatever. I don't really know what to say though.. talking to you has changed my perspective of him because he acts like he likes me and says cute things to me all the time too. This whole thing has me really confused, like when I was over at his house the other night and some guy that was there kept touching me, Cris got all defensive and wanted to beat him up, but the reason why I don't think a relationship will come out of it is because I feel like it would've already happened since it's been like four months. Maybe it's because he really does just wanna be single? I don't know, the whole situation just sucks, and it would be a lot easier if he was straightforward about it all. It's definitely not right to be basically egging two girls on about his feelings and everything. It sounds to me as though he really does still love you and it hurts because I like him and I just don't know what to doooooo."
Me: "Fuck. =[
I'm really sorry about all this. It really upsets me to find out that he would do that to me and you, well to anyone for that matter. I didn't think he was that type of person. I was with him for a year and a half, basically for 3 years because he's liked me for that long but I had a boyfriend for the first two years. Everyone knew that we both had a thing for each other though. I would literally even cry to my ex about how much I missed Cris because he went to elco sophmore year. Then I went to elco. My ex and I break up and then Cris jumped all over the opportunity to get to me and was the sweetest guy ever and picked up my broken pieces. I think him being my best friend and being there so long made me feel like we wouldn't really break up.. stupid huh? It's hard to take and believe for me because of how long he waited for me and how into me he was. I don't know what went wrong. Ugh.. you're right though, I really wish he was just straight forward with both of us. I'm actually debating about bringing up our conversation to him but I don't know if I should."
Victoria: "Yeah, I completely understand how you feel though. But i don't know, what would you say to him?"
Me: "I actually really don't know.
I was thinking of saying "So I talked to Victoria today." and see where it went from there, but it would probably come out sounding bitter and telling him that he doesn't have to lie to me anymore and keep stringing me along. That would just start some big mess though."
Victoria: "I was thinking the same thing, that telling him would start a mess. I don't want to put any pressure on him to have to like start a relationship with me or anything because I think that's how he would take it."
Me: "yeah. =/
And coming from my side and still wanting to be with him... I wouldn't like that so much. Life goes on though I guess."
Victoria: "Yeah for sure, we are just gonna have to see what happens i guess. I'm glad that we talked this allll out though!"
Me: "Me toooo. Thanks again."
I feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I'm happy that she was straight forward with me and talking to her really helped me out a lot. Surprisingly I'm not horribly upset. I decided that I'm going to tell me ex that I talked to her once I can get to his house to drop off his stuff and the stuff I get for him for christmas. I feel it's best to talk about it in person. Basically I plan to tell him in a nice way they he can't have his cake and eat it too.
Since my ex wasn't being straight forward with me about his feelings I decide to go to the girl that I had suspicions he has something for now. I figured if he wouldn't tell me the truth she would... and she did.
Me: "Hey, this might be a little weird for you. I don't know. It's kind of hard for me to ask so I'm just going to come out and say it. I don't know what you know about me and Cris but I still really love him and I don't know what his feelings towards me are because he's never straight forwards with me but tells me he gets jealous when I go out and says cute things but then goes back on them with something mean the next day and blehhh. My heart is just being messed with. It's been 4 months now since the break up and I've asked him numerous times before if anything was going on between you two and he swears up and down to me that you guys are just kickin it. I just really wanted to ask you the truth on the whole thing and is that really what it is? If not then knowing about it will definitely help me to move on.
So yeah..
Can you please be the one to tell me the truth? It will really help me out.
And please don't mention to Cris that I talked to you."
Victoria: "Hi, I definitely don't mind you asking me about this, because i would probably do the same thing. I'm sorry that he is like that to you though, i know how that feels because of my ex boyfriend being the same way.
To be honest, I don't really even know what is going on between me and Cris. We hang out a lot but we aren't like dating or anything, soo this information probably isn't to helpful. I like him and everything, but i don't really think that a relationship will build up from it. But yeah, I won't bring this up to him. If you have any more questions, feel freeeee to ask me thoughhh"
Me: "(I noticed this was kind of long I'm sorry)
=/
See I really don't know what to do. He sends me so many mixed signals and and I get mixed feelings. Most of the time he'll send me things where I know he still cares for me. When we broke up he made it sound like it was only going to be temporary. He told me that he just felt like a jerk because he wasn't making any time for me anymore and I was getting really upset over it. He said maybe we can both try being single and see if we are happier. Then he said that he would still send me texts saying goodmorning and stuff because he still loves me and that he would probably regret breaking up with me because I'm an amazing person and girlfriend and his best friend and he doesn't want to loose me all together. He just wants to be single right now.
And then 4 days after that I noticed he started talking to you and it really hurt me because I saw he was sweet on you, but he still for 3 months after that kept coming back to me and saying sweet things to me. I asked him straight up about 3 times if anything was going on and he would just be like "Not reeeaaally, we're just kicking it." So I really just don't know what to feel. Like... is he just keeping me as backup now? I feel like a doormat. It really just sucks because I care for him so much, he's literally what I think about everyday when I wake up first thing in the morning. I really just wish he would be straight forward with me and tell me that he doesn't see us getting back together again. I feel dumb for waiting for him and keeping the hope that I had for this long. He still refuses to come get his stuff. I have some clothes of his, his toother brush, and just little things he's left here and he always makes up excuses not to come get them. He either doesn't have the gas, friend are coming over, or he'll just dodge the conversation and be like "Whyyy do you want me to get my stuff so bad? =[" or just be like "Sure hater!" and then never do it. It's like what the fuck? Why wouldn't he come get his stuff? Does he plan to get back together with me or something?
Even two months after we broke up David told me that him and Cris talked about it and he still thinks I'm the perfect girlfriend but he just wants to be single...
I didn't want to keep holding on and keep believing what Cris tells me and then one day have it all surprise me and he's with someone new. You know? Thank you for telling me your feelings towards him. I'm honestly not mad I'm just really hurt and heartbroken. And the shitty part is that I still love him even after hearing that. And I still don't know if I should move on or not.
So, he obviously likes you too right? Why don't you think a relationship will build up from it?"
Victoria: "Wow, well I am really sorry, I thought you guys had been broken up long before me and Cris even started talking or whatever. I don't really know what to say though.. talking to you has changed my perspective of him because he acts like he likes me and says cute things to me all the time too. This whole thing has me really confused, like when I was over at his house the other night and some guy that was there kept touching me, Cris got all defensive and wanted to beat him up, but the reason why I don't think a relationship will come out of it is because I feel like it would've already happened since it's been like four months. Maybe it's because he really does just wanna be single? I don't know, the whole situation just sucks, and it would be a lot easier if he was straightforward about it all. It's definitely not right to be basically egging two girls on about his feelings and everything. It sounds to me as though he really does still love you and it hurts because I like him and I just don't know what to doooooo."
Me: "Fuck. =[
I'm really sorry about all this. It really upsets me to find out that he would do that to me and you, well to anyone for that matter. I didn't think he was that type of person. I was with him for a year and a half, basically for 3 years because he's liked me for that long but I had a boyfriend for the first two years. Everyone knew that we both had a thing for each other though. I would literally even cry to my ex about how much I missed Cris because he went to elco sophmore year. Then I went to elco. My ex and I break up and then Cris jumped all over the opportunity to get to me and was the sweetest guy ever and picked up my broken pieces. I think him being my best friend and being there so long made me feel like we wouldn't really break up.. stupid huh? It's hard to take and believe for me because of how long he waited for me and how into me he was. I don't know what went wrong. Ugh.. you're right though, I really wish he was just straight forward with both of us. I'm actually debating about bringing up our conversation to him but I don't know if I should."
Victoria: "Yeah, I completely understand how you feel though. But i don't know, what would you say to him?"
Me: "I actually really don't know.
I was thinking of saying "So I talked to Victoria today." and see where it went from there, but it would probably come out sounding bitter and telling him that he doesn't have to lie to me anymore and keep stringing me along. That would just start some big mess though."
Victoria: "I was thinking the same thing, that telling him would start a mess. I don't want to put any pressure on him to have to like start a relationship with me or anything because I think that's how he would take it."
Me: "yeah. =/
And coming from my side and still wanting to be with him... I wouldn't like that so much. Life goes on though I guess."
Victoria: "Yeah for sure, we are just gonna have to see what happens i guess. I'm glad that we talked this allll out though!"
Me: "Me toooo. Thanks again."
I feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I'm happy that she was straight forward with me and talking to her really helped me out a lot. Surprisingly I'm not horribly upset. I decided that I'm going to tell me ex that I talked to her once I can get to his house to drop off his stuff and the stuff I get for him for christmas. I feel it's best to talk about it in person. Basically I plan to tell him in a nice way they he can't have his cake and eat it too.
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I wish you the best!!!