dree

Crazy night last night.
I went to Queercoming which is a homecoming dance for all ages put on by Positive Image, which is kind of like a gay straight alliance club. Anywho, usually it's just me and my best friend Frank who go every year but we decided to bring two other friends of ours this time. Our friend Ross who we took along with us has had romantic feelings for me for a few months now and I had a crush on him too but after a while it just seemed to fade. There are things about him that I just don't like. For one, he was really into drugs at one point but swears he's clean now and that the only thing he does is smoke pot all day long and drink occasionally now. After while buying and smoking pot each and everyday adds up and it could turn out to be a problem. He also became really obsessive towards me and I could pick up that most likely he was bipolar. And let's face it, I'm way too wrapped up in my ex right now to get involved with anyone else at the moment. I never told him that I lost interest in him and he is still very very into me at this point, so I felt really bad.

Anyway I stayed sober the whole night because I was out partying and had only three hours of sleep the previous night before I had to get up to go to work and then go straight home and get ready for the dance. Frank, Andrew, and Ross drank enough to get buzzed when we got there but all of noticed something was a little different with Ross. Then the crazyness just started unraveling and it all had to do with Ross. He texts me this morning asking me what happened because he couldn't remember a thing... here is what happened and the text I sent back to him:

"Well from the point in the parking lot where you all took shots we knew you were way more fucked up than us so we didn't really know what was up. You were acting soo weird, Andrew found you outside and sent me this text "So scared for Ross right now. He took drugs before he met up with us and is messed up. He straight up is inhaling lighter fluid outside. Fuck." and the rest of the night you spent making out with a "girl" which you thought was a girl but was a cross dresser. You got talked two about three times because Jasmine (The guy) kept taking your shirt off. Soo that's when you lost your vest and probably your keys too if you had them on you then. Andrew found you guys in the bathroom a bit later ober the sink and he tried to get you two to seperate but you called all three of us cock blockers, then you ran off somewhere else with him then found your way up on stage just you two making out and dancing. Jasmine's friend's started coming up to us asking if you were gay because you were making out with a guy and my friend TJ come up to me and said the same thing. We also heard you got a blow job from him. Then on the way home you kept saying how you wanted to go back and how you don't remember half the night and how you met a really cute girl. Then we tried to find your keys everywhere and you went back to Santa Rosa with your friend Ian and they said that they didn't have your things, but then you twittered that you were walking home from Santa Rosa but called Frank around four AM saying you were outside. We don't know after that."

It was the longest text ever but he said he was really upset and that he felt like an idiot. we also had this conversation after that:

Ross: "I'm sorry. I was so out of line last night, and I really hope I didn't ruin our friendship. =["
Me: "I don't know how anyone else feels, I just know how I feel."
Ross: "I know. I'm sorry I put you through that. =["
Me: "=/"
Ross: "Can you tell me your feelings about it?"
Me: "Well honestly any romantic feelings I had are gone now. I can't deal with a boyfriend who does drugs, I've dealt with that before and it's not fun. I'm honestly just really disappointed."
Ross: "The whole lighter fluid thing, I have never done before and I never plan on it. And I took one anti anxiety pill earlier in the day because I had anxiety out of the ass. I didn't take it to abuse it. I'm assuming the alcohol reacted with it.
Me: Andrew made it sound like you took a date rape drug. He said "He was telling me that he took pills that just make you forget everything and chill."
Ross: No, I took a klonopin. It's an anti-anxiety pill."
Me: "Alright. It honestly still doesn't change how I feel. =/ I will still be your friend and all but in a boyfriend way I just can't."
Ross: "I don't really think that's fair to do that because I took an anti-anxiety pill. I'm not abusing drugs. I just don't want to lose you. =/"
Me: "I'm still going to be there for you and be your friend just not in that way."
Ross: "I know. It's just not going to be the same. There's no one like you. You're smart, extremely beautiful, strong, and you're the only one to keep me sane."
Me: "Well I'm not leaving as a friend."
Ross: "I know."
Ross: "I give up"
Me: "Alright."

All the guys with I get involved with are such winners.