dredredrizzle

Well. My 22nd birthday is a week away. And looking back on my year, I wonder if im actually growing up fast enough. I feel like im immature, irresponsible, like I have no grasp of how the world works. Frankly this scares me to death. I wont always have a safety net, and I have problems that ill probably have to deal with for the rest of my life that will never be fully cured. Since I was about 18 each birthday has become scarier. I see my peers finishing their degrees, already holding jobs for years. And Im thrown back imagining what they put in to get there. 8 more years and ill be in my 30's. The clock is ticking fast. I have so much more growing up to do, and so little time. This world doesnt have any room for failure. You adapt to your world. You adapt the world to you. Or you die. Logically this makes perfect sense to me, but emotionally it has yet to really click. I guess when I can finally make that connection happen, when I can look back and see my past as something to be proud of. Then ill know im really an adult. Until then I just have the body of one.