drawingfromusic

Let me go ahead and warn you this story will not be for the faint of heart..I may get a little deep in this but I feel it fits in as part of my family history..My dad was a person who lived a very fulfilled life almost so much I never realized it until after the fact as an adult when revisiting memories and discussing favorite times with my sisters. I would honestly say aside from the obvious mental disabilities, my dad lived a very Forrest Gump kinda life..

So..where to begin..This is my dad..this is a younger photo of him and will play more into the story later but he's always had a very Harrison Ford look to him..don't you think ? Anyway, growing up he was always a pretty mild mannered guy, he was always coaching the sports I played, traveled a bit for work and was always working on a car on the weekends if he wasn't watching a race or a ballgame. He always had a smoke in his mouth and a drink in his hand. I knew that he was in the Navy and at some point in his life a boxer. There were always long stories that he'd like to tell either when we'd have friends over or later in the evening after he might've had too many to drink..As I got older I never appreciated any of his little quirks or the life experiences he'd try to share. Not to mention his stellar taste in music, I realized this much later in life. To tell you the truth, I was such a troublemaker growing up and was always quick to mouth off or revolt against anything he'd ask me to do..ultimately causing a slight rift between us for some time and unfortunately never really mended.

My dad passed away eight months ago to the day and sadly it was at a time in our lives where we had grown very much apart for various reasons and mostly because I chose to and will always slightly regret I didn't reach out and men's that relationship. Unfortunately for me the last time I got to spend with him alive, he was already hospitalized and barely lucid while I was there..It's heartbreaking when you can't tell whether or not a loved one actually remembers who you are..

After he died and my sisters and I are started discussing the funeral and talking to family members hearing stories and beginning to piece together a narrative of his history like a puzzle and coming to the realization he lived a pretty outstanding life before he had even met our mom..

My dad was born and raised in Arlington, a town just North of Dallas Texas. He grew up on huge plot of land with his two brothers and sister playing sports like football and boxing. What always amazed me about my grandparents was they were 25 years apart in age; my grandfather a train conductor most of life When he graduated high school he headed on a nationwide trek in a VW bus in what we would call these days "stereotypical hippie fashion" before enlisting on the Navy and hitting the international waters. Now if you're at all like me, this might raise an eyebrow as well that this free loving minded individual would join the military. From what my sisters and I can tell, for him it was an opportunity that allowed him to see more of the world and he was always really smart with electronics. During his stint in the Navy, my dad was chopper pilot which sounds pretty fucking cool on its own. I remember him always telling stories of flights they had and various passengers they picked up all over Europe. He was so jazzed about these liquor filled chocolates he had gotten on the island of Malta and shared with sort of general. My dad seriously had a way with people where strangers felt like they'd known him their entire lives after briefly talking to them..As a kid you don't realize those sort of qualities in your parents, you just find it annoying and embarrassing. We found so many things in his closet, personal relics and trophies symbolizing special bonds and memories he had during his time in the Navy. A photo from when they picked up Apollo One, a hat from a foreign sailor who he traded with that had a map of his own that retraced his international journeys. He continued his boxing during his time overseas and apparently rather successfully, he was a golden glove boxer; which in layman's terms since I had to look it up myself..hah..if he wanted to continue boxing professionally it was definitely an option he could've pursued. I can't forget to mention, I'm pretty sure he may have met his first true love in life somewhere up in the Scandinavian region..

From what we've gathered these years my dad spent in the Navy may have been his most self defining as well as probably his most favorite. I'm not saying his life with us wasn't something special to him, but the stories I hear of this man at his early age seem different then the man that I remember growing up..But perspectives do change with age..

When my dad returned to the states after his military enlistment, it sounds like he made another round across country before this time settling in providence, Rhode Island. I wish I knew what sort of jobs he had at the time but all I know is he ultimately ended up neighbors with the man who would become my godfather who was studying law at Brown University. I remember distinctly once he told because of what my dad said to him, he finished his studies at law school. This is nuts to even believe given the fact my dad was so against the idea of college for me when I graduated from high school..Anyway, there are so many stories tied into this time in the Northeast..I wouldn't know where to start aside from remembering my dad acquired both a Norton motorcycle as well as an MG car which he migrated both down to the Atlanta area where he met my mother on a blind date.

Okay, so I may exaggerated a little when I said a Forrest Gump kind of life but when I write the screenplay I don't think you'd disagree. I honestly had such a hard time when my dad passed away, as a visual artist I didn't know and really still don't what I wanted to do to process the feelings I have about our relationship. I shot so many photos of his last days as well as his memorial service, I'm not really come close to wanting to go through those images yet. I was seriously torn up when watching Anderson..my daughter, take the news of his passing..it was absolutely heartbreaking to watch her..She was so sad and this was a person she met only a few times and hadn't really interacted much with in general. For personal reasons, I had kept her separated from that part of my life it totally tore me up how sad and hurt she was that he had passed..

So I realize this really isn't the sort of family history kind of story you guys were looking for and I appreciate everyone who stuck through all of my babbling about my dad..I guess the main part of all of this and why I'm still so hung up on it all is the amount of similarities I see in myself as an adult and a father and just plainly as a person. A lot choices and characteristics we share, and seriously they're the sort of traits I would brag as some of my personal attributes. I won't even start on our similar styles of barbequeing, I'm pretty sure I could write a blogpost solely on that. He really was an amazing man and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him more than the world and wish so much I had a little more time with him to just be an adult with and work through whatever adolescent issues I had with him and appreciate the life that he's had and the adult I've become.