Wow..So I thought last week's @bloghomework was tough..if you didn't get a chance to read my Bittersweet Love Story..please check it out..Anyway, this week @rambo @missy and @lyxzen asked us what we would like to be remembered for..At first this seemed pretty simple and straightforward, then I found myself contemplating and wondering if it was as easy as I first assumed..
When I was young, I played sports year around for years up through my first couple years of high school. If you would've asked me at the time I would've easily said be some sort of professional athlete..As a teenager, I had an ongoing Walter Mitty style daydream of me winning a number of Olympic medals and world championships..Clearly somewhere shortly into my sophomore year in high school my priorities changed..
So as long as I can remember, my goal growing up was to succeed as an artist..my mom wasn't American so she never quite understood that career goal. At this point, I was just introduced to a camera, my thoughts at the time were to hopefully become a filmmaker..I had spent most of my teenage years working in video rental houses (never Blockbuster..hah) studying current and classic films and thinking it was the right step to moving in that direction of making pictures. I'm not gonna lie to you, I did have that fleeting thought of being the next Tarantino with a more idealistic Dawson Leary approach to film..
Well..the only problem here..I didn't foresee was actually falling in love with photography and ultimately realizing I preferred making still images to moving. But you can still see a lot of influences from favorite filmmakers at times in my work..As I continued to evolve as an artist those goals changed from wanting fame and fortune to leading a new art movement (c'mon..I'm clearly learning about different art periods in college at this point) In reality, none of those things really mattered to me..I just wanted to make art, and yes I wanted it to be visually stimulating while trying to convey some sort of message or idea I was hung up on at the time..
So this is the point of the story where my path hits a speed bump and has similarities to the direction @jadamsphoto took..When the market crashed my world was turned upside down and the goals I had so painstakingly worked so hard to etch out and achieve were sort of left pointless and I found myself turning to the music industry. I started a blog and so was the birth of "drawingfromusic" it was an exhilarating feeling to get to meet/listen to the bands who both excited and inspired the artwork I was making at the time, not mention a challenge to creatively write about their music not having any sort of background in that realm. I was blown away by the access available to these artists by fearlessly requesting time with them and countlessly getting approved. Needless to say, I caught the attention of a few noteworthy music sites and quickly was put on assignment to write but then to ultimately shoot photos for them..now I should mention, at this point I had to sortof relearn the camera..the last time I had shot one it had film in it and for the most part my photography had become more of like a tool for the paintings I was working on. When I had learned photoshop it was just a prerequisite to get your degree, not at all the tool we've grown to rely on these days..so there was a huge learning curve there but on the flip side I was being approved and thrown into these pits for headlining artists at Lollapalooza. It was nuts!! Coordinating interviews, shooting portraits, backstage access..you could easily and quickly find yourself feeling like a celebrity if not at least some sort of VIP when you're spending most of your evenings with bands. Believe me, I'd be lying if I didn't have thoughts of being the next Annie Liebovitz or Danny Clinch but man..I don't think they ever had to survive on this sort of economy or have to support a daughter while they made their climb up the ladder..The biggest problem with the music industry and you could probably say it for a lot of places..they want something for nothing and if you're not willing to do that, then they move on to someone much younger and naive who is willing to do what they want for free tickets..Id like to say though, I think I stepped away from that role with many of my connections still intact for whatever opportunity might ever still be available..
At this same time, I began freelancing with other Chicago photographers and came to this wonderful realization there actually is an opportunity to make a living at doing what you're both trained to do and are passionate about..Being reintroduced to studio environment reinvigorated my desire to shoot photos and also drive me to create the images that had inspired/influenced my paintings for so many years. I had the opportunity to start collaborating with fashion designers and start styling my own shoots as well as shoot things with a certain creative freedom and see how far I could push those boundaries while creating visual stories..And then I was introduced to Suicide Girls and so far this has seemed like a nice fit and hopefully however long this this ride is I'm able to leave a lasting impression here..I don't think there are enough good things to say about the community here and the connections I've already made in this short time since I've first started shooting here..I'm super excited my first set shot with the lovely @hensely finally hits MR in less than a month and I have at least half a dozen more sets I'm still in the process of editing..so keep your eyes peeled..
Sorry I've run off topic..In this long winded written rehashing of my career path I'm left still asking what do I want to be remembered for.. I want to have personally felt that I was able to add something to the ongoing discourse within the art world and that I always kept my personal integrity as an artist, making the work that I always wanted to make without being swayed by the idea of money and fame..I feel like I'm pretty easygoing when it comes to collaborating and working together, I try to build bonds with the people I shoot because I feel it leaves a lasting impression in the images we create together and allows us to build on those connections the next time we work together..My family has always been something very important to me, I hope they remember me as the best I could be as both a brother,son,partner and most importantly father..
It's funny, I could've quickly summed up this answer a while ago if I would've remembered this earlier..I want my daughter to know and always remember it's important to never give up on your passions in life, even if it means there's a struggle or tough times and people may not always agree with your life choices.Dont give up. That's truly how I'd love to be remembered.
Thanks again @rambo @missy and @lyxzen what would you guys like to be remembered for? đź’–
