So I was trying to decide the best way to approach this week's @bloghomework assignment from @rambo @missy and @lyxzen I could keep things light like @jadamsphoto did and proclaim my love for carnivorism being from the south and constantly firing up the smoker and cooking a ton of meat year around (which I did on Sunday..btw..during our little snow storm at that..hah) Or I could follow suit behind @ekka and talk about the reality of my one long love story..Yup, that seems better suited for this year..
Once upon a time (11 years ago)..in a Starbucks just off of Michigan Avenue in Chicago..this beautiful brown eyed girl walked and stood in line to order a tall coffee..This barista was instantly head over heels for her as there was this sparkle✨ the two shared when they looked at each other..After weeks maybe a little longer of brief chats and discussions of viewpoints and movies and weekends the young scruffy barista worked up the courage to invite his new love interest to see a movie with him..Well to his dismay, at this point she was either out of town or had to decided to visit another one of her local coffee shops but she had disappeared 😕 If it weren't for an overzealous nosy coworker who decided to take upon herself to reach out to our missing love interest and proclaim the young barista's desire to ask her out..who knows if she would've ever returned. Finally, our protagonist had his opportunity to woo her outside of his work place not smelling like espresso or with that blasted green apron on..They had a lovely evening and saw a wonderful movie with a drink afterwards..finally bidding farewell with the promise of another evening together in the near future..Well as you can imagine, the second date went even better and soon the two were inseparable spending as much free time together as possible..they'd go running together..see theater..take long walks around the city..he'd flex his culinary muscles for her..needless to say he was in love 😍 There were some clear incompatibilities but in his hopeless romantic mind..what did those matter because love always prevails..At this point, cute little nicknames were derived and a full line of mix tapes were in production..After a few wonderful months together the new couple were presented with something both scary and exciting and life changing but above everything else amazing..She was pregnant, after a lot of discussions the two decided they weren't going to make any drastic life decisions just because it's what their parents wanted or what the church expected..but they agreed and promised to themselves they'd do their best to make this new family work as long as it felt right and they were happy..To put into perspective the young barista was no longer a barista but was pursuing his career goal of becoming a working professional in the arts and had decided the best route for this was to return to school for his masters degree. Jill, the young mother to be was a longstanding working professional and business owner and was very supportive of the artist and his goals. That winter the two welcomed into the world a beautiful little girl with the brightest bluest eyes one could ever imagine..
(Sorry..the youngest I could find her on my phone..)
By far the happiest day in the young couples lives and they had this little person looking to them to teach her and guide her through sleepless nights, dirty diapers and what eve misadventures she'd get herself into..During this time our artist got accepted into grad school across the country in sunny California, with the hopes his family would tag along with him. What hasn't been mentioned throughout all of these wonderful new times of parenthood is that little tear in the seam of compatibility had gotten a bit larger and had affected the couples dynamic at times..The young mother had a different idea in mind and preferred for the artist to either go on his own or give up pursuing his dreams and stay with them..I should note this wasn't an ultimatum just something she had come to on her own, in her mind. The artist spent two years near the beaches, taking in the landscapes while pursuing his studies..making monthly trips back home to visit his family wanting them to join him..Now this is a story that can go on for some time..There are a ton of details that can be explored.. But I'm gonna speed things up a bit..Jill and I were together for about ten years before we finically decided to throw in the towel. We tried for so long to make things work as a couple but in our time together we fell more into the roles of parental partners and the romance slowly deflated out of our relationship. We were not at all compatible but really loved each other so much, we moved to a very Norman Rockwellian type of community hoping that would spark things knowing it was the best environment for our daughter. Unfortunately, it grew us further apart in that way and we found ourselves both pursuing our personal careers while tag teaming our parental duties. At times my work fell on the wayside to be more of the stay at home dad while she was the bacon bringer. As this all progressed and my work started to become more successful and demanding we'd hit walls with expectations of the other causing resentment between us and magnifying our lack of compatibility. Our families had given up on us and our dynamic was clearly affecting our parenting. I know..I know..you ask why didn't we split earlier..The biggest wrench in all of this is Jill and I are best friends, that will never change..she is one of the most amazing people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. We are a conundrum to friends we have who are divorced, when we fight..we could say the meanest things but 15 minutes later want to grab a coffee together. We get along the majority of the time and actually enjoy each other's company. We still go on trips or do things socially together. Yup, that one usually raises eyebrows. The fact of the matter and another long story on its own (Jills terrible upbringing) we are family and always will be. We are just not compatible and have different ideas with how life should go. The one thing we agree is that things stay consistent for our daughter and that she understands that we love each other very much just not that way. This isn't a 50/50 parenting job but a mutual agreement to keep our daughter's daily life as seamless as possible from getting ready for school,homework,dinner and bedtime rituals. Jill has been my biggest supporter through all of my ventures as an artist and my professional pursuits as a photographer..through the four years of late nights and endless weekends in the music industry to shooting fashion and lingerie with half naked women being shot in our house to even now with my SG pursuits. She may not completely understand it all but regardless has never wavered in showing her full support..We've even had the opportunity to collaborate together on a professional level ..if I haven't mentioned it yet, she owns a yoga studio..and is pretty awesome at it..
Which has been pretty amazing on its own..not to mention, our greatest collaboration in life..our daughter, Anderson..
Lemme see..I'm not sure where I go from here..That little girl is the most important person in our lives and we can't let own issues or egos or whatever other bullshit occurs when two people break up..in the end it's not about us..it's about her and as long as she's happy we're both happy and everything else will work itself out..We joke at times that we were the original Bradgelina before it was cool to have a non marriage union..We'll be a family for life regardless of a Happily Ever After..
