Now, for anyone who feels like my blogs are nothing but Bitchfests, you might want to stop reading now. Because I'm going to go into Bitchfest beast mode. For any of you left, strap in because it's going to get rough from here on out. The bottom line is that I'm sick and fucking tired of people asking for my help, or my advice. And then completely ignoring it. Or worse yet, pretending that they never asked for my help in the first place. If you didn't ask for my help, then why the fuck did you call me?
My brother asked me for a job, a few months back. so I went to my boss and asked her to hire him. She did, and it only took my brother 3 months to bail on that job. So I put myself on the line to get him a job, and he bailed. I told him not to get involved with anyone there. In case you didn't already know, anyone and everyone who works at a strip club is a damaged individual. It's just to what degree? Some are totally functional, most are 20 lbs of crazy in a 10 lbs bag. So I warned my brother about getting involved with anyone that works there. And of course, 2 months later, he is fucking married to a waitress. WHAT A DUMBASS!!!!!!!!
From personal experience, relationships in a club like that do not, and will not work. But why the fuck would he listen to me. Ready for this? Not a week later, he finds out that she is bipolar, and refusing to take her medication. So she will go off on him at any given time. She will scream and yell, she has clawed the shit out of his arms already. WOW, MAYBE IF YOU HAD LISTENED TO ME IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE, YOU WOULDNT BE MARRIED TO A BIPOLAR BITCH WHO IS PRONE TO OUTBURSTS OF COMPLETE CRAZY!!!!!!
Does he break up with her and get the marriage annulled? Of course not, he moves to L.A. With her because she got a job out there. Well yesterday, I'm down in Anaheim with my girlfriend. I'm there all of 20 minutes when I start getting texts from my brother, asking me if I will come and get him because he can't take this shit anymore. I told him that I wasn't going to be free until late, but that I would go pick him up and take him back to town. Which I did, but after driving 45 mins out of my way, he tells me "just go home, I think I'm going to stay"....ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ?!?!?!?!?
So you asked me to get you a job, I did, and then you bailed on the job. I told you not to get involved with anyone who works there, and you married a chick after only knowing her for 2 months. Then you found out that she is bipolar, and instead of doing the smart thing and getting the marriage annulled, you move 2 hours away. Then ask me to come get you, only then to tell me "nevermind, you don't need my help after all." FUCK THIS SHIT
My girlfriend has been really fun to deal with lately. My girlfriend is the most spoiled woman that I have ever dated. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I enjoy spoiling the woman I'm with. I have taken her on, I've lost count of how many, trips. And these trips range from just going to the beach for the day, to full on 3-day cruises. If I'm out and I see something that reminds me of her, I'll buy it. Doesn't matter how much it is. But lately, it's almost like she expects to be spoiled. She keeps posting things online, with a caption along the lines of "you should buy this for me." I'm really sick of feeling like its my job to buy her things or take her places. And then we got into a fight over an April Fools day prank that I thought of 2 months ago. I talked her into both of us posting that we broke up. I figured that our friends would freak out. Fucking hilarious to me. But she threw a fit. So I got pissed because it's ok for her to make it look like my job to spend money on her and take her on all of these trips, but God forbid I pull a prank that makes her look a little bad.
But lately she has been having trouble at work. He boss keeps hiring friends, who aren't required to do any work, leaving all of the work for my girlfriend and the employees that aren't friends with the boss. My girlfriend complains about this everyday. So I got her a lead on a new job. Does she take it? Of course not. I got her the number to the HR department, and if that doesn't work, the owner of the company. Has she done anything about it? Fuck no. So you'll complain about how much your job sucks, but when I try to help you find another one, you don't take it. when I try to help you fix things at this job, you won't take the initiative. Ok, fuck it. I'll just be sitting over here next time you want to bitch but do nothing productive about it.
Oh we aren't done yet. I've talked about my friend Ali before, at least I think we are still friends, I never know these days. But she calls me last week because she tried to get her shift covered and the manager on duty wouldn't allow it because of some screw up or miscommunication. So of course my phone blows up, because that's the only time I hear from her for the last 6 weeks, is when she needs something work related. So I talk to her, talk to the manager, and basically call in a personal favor to get her shift covered. There is an excellent chance that I'm going to get my ass chewed by my boss, but it's cool. If I get in trouble for helping a friend, then so be it.
Until 3 days later when she misses her schedule again. So now she gets penalized for missing her shift, and I get my ass chewed for sticking my neck out. And when I told her that I was pissed that I stuck my neck out for nothing, she catches attitude with me and tells me that she appreciates my help but she never asked to be treated differently than anyone else. IF YOU DIDNT WANT SPECIAL TREATMENT, WHY THE FUCK DID MY PHONE RING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!?
How the fuck are you going to ask for my help, and then pretend that you didn't ask for it. Where the fuck do you get off, being pissed at me when I went out on a limb for you and you turned around and screwed me over anyway. And don't give me any of this "I didn't mean to do it" bullshit. Our relationship has always been intentions vs action. Your intentions are irrelevant, it's always been your actions that matter.
I told you from the very beginning, your words will tell me who you WANT to be, but your actions will tell me who you REALLY ARE.
My phone is constantly blowing up, with people who do nothing but take and take and take. I have fucking had it with people who always want me to be there for them, but never are for me. Im sure if you ask them, of course they will say that they would always be there for me. But I never hear from them unless they need something. There is never a call or text, just to say hi or see how I'm doing. And if I try and drop them a line, to say what's up, there is never a response.
I'm not going to lie, the thought of saying FUCK THEM ALL has crossed my mind more than a few times. The thought of opening a vein and being done with them has occurred to me more than once, lately. But I don't want my last chapter to be written like that. So I'll do what I always do. I will carry on by myself. I'll smile and pretend that I'm fine. I'll make nice and convince everyone that I'm ok. But deep down, I don't have anything left. I have given away every piece of myself, and I'm done. There's nothing left.