dragonflylove

So, ive been runnin around like a chicken with my head cut off for a few days now. Its tough raising two boys and being pregnant at the same time . Not to mention that my other half is working out of town and has been for a few yrs now. Even though he was only supposed to do it for a yr, its been well over that. I dont understand. I havent since that yr past, except for the fact that he loves his job more than anything. Thats all fine and danndy im glad he loves his job. I dont.
Not too many ppl understand how hard it is to be at home by theirselves with two kids everyday without a break. I wasnt blessed with the kind and loving families that want to see my boys on the weekends or whenever just to give me a break for a while. Dont get me wrong, i love my children with all my heart !!! They literally are my life!!! But it would be nice to have someone call and say hey can i get the kids for a few hours , the day , anything would be nice. I guess i made my bed so .........................
Another thing, i love my boyfriend. I really do !!!! I would love to see him on a daily basis. I need the companionship that any healthy realationship needs. I cant keep living life having a realationship that is only availablle when his job gives him his 2-7 day break before he leaves again for another few weeks to a month . But yes i kno the economy sucks and if you have a job keep it dont quit if you dont have to. Once again i made my bed.................
Is it depression, trust issues, love , heartache, what i mean what the fuck is wrong with me ???????????
Maybe its jus me and this is the way life is meant to be but i always thought that happiness was homemade??? I guess that saying is a bit far fetched huh ?
Oh welll thats life . Ill make it through one way or the other.