ugh. still trying to keep it together. dropped a class. my sister is getting a divorce after being with my bro-in-law for at least 15 years. she says she doesn't love him anymore, and isn't attracted to him. i don't like it one bit. we haven't been hanging much lately, but i really do love the dude. this is going to be very messed up.
my girlfriend's mom is a bit crazy lately. well, crazier than usual. her dad is having health problems, she hates her job, she thinks i hate her, she's having money issues and relationship issues. i understand shit is hard, but she doesn't understand i've got enough of my own shit to deal with and it's hard enough for me to stay sane without having to deal with her crazy. she doesn't understand why i'm not all happy-happy-joy-joy, sure, let's constantly talk about your problems. she also expects others to indulge her selfish behavior and do her bidding and pick up after her. she's wasteful and can't seem to do a damn thing about cleaning up her own messes. can't even put a dish in the washer or throw shit away 99% of the time and she uses her job as an excuse to be lazy. hey, i'm fucking tired most of the time, too. we all do a bunch of shit that we'd mostly rather not do all the fucking time. she needs to grow the fuck up. i'm not here to run her errands and do her dishes and take her blame. i've got a bunch of shit to think about, change, and do before i likely move to LA in August. but, please, yes, let's just deal with your shit and whims. fuck. on top of all this, i'm trying to deal with the fact that i'm either going to lose my girlfriend or all of my friends, and possibly my dog. not to mention being a long way away from my parents and my sister, all of whom i don't see enough as it is. long-distance relationships don't really work so well, whether you're just friends, or more than that. how am i supposed to have faith that everything will be alright? how the fuck is that even possible? i'm not even sure i'll like living in LA. Austin is perfect for me. i don't know what the fuck to do. this is the hardest decision i've ever had to make. i don't know if this is the right time to try to get sober for a while.
ok, enough bitching, whining and emoticons. nobody reads this shit anyway.
ps: on a happy note, i have been having a lot of fun going on field trips every friday with my biology class. even though it's really exhausting following my teacher around and identifying/collecting plants for four or five hours. i'm also hanging out with my bud tim a lot and shooting shorts. i'm not always happy with my performances, and we do some wacky and esoteric stuff, but i love to work on shit, whatever it is. we finally entered one of our shorts into a short film contest, and i'm pretty excited about it. i hope we find more contests to enter other stuff into soon. anyway. things aren't all bad.
my girlfriend's mom is a bit crazy lately. well, crazier than usual. her dad is having health problems, she hates her job, she thinks i hate her, she's having money issues and relationship issues. i understand shit is hard, but she doesn't understand i've got enough of my own shit to deal with and it's hard enough for me to stay sane without having to deal with her crazy. she doesn't understand why i'm not all happy-happy-joy-joy, sure, let's constantly talk about your problems. she also expects others to indulge her selfish behavior and do her bidding and pick up after her. she's wasteful and can't seem to do a damn thing about cleaning up her own messes. can't even put a dish in the washer or throw shit away 99% of the time and she uses her job as an excuse to be lazy. hey, i'm fucking tired most of the time, too. we all do a bunch of shit that we'd mostly rather not do all the fucking time. she needs to grow the fuck up. i'm not here to run her errands and do her dishes and take her blame. i've got a bunch of shit to think about, change, and do before i likely move to LA in August. but, please, yes, let's just deal with your shit and whims. fuck. on top of all this, i'm trying to deal with the fact that i'm either going to lose my girlfriend or all of my friends, and possibly my dog. not to mention being a long way away from my parents and my sister, all of whom i don't see enough as it is. long-distance relationships don't really work so well, whether you're just friends, or more than that. how am i supposed to have faith that everything will be alright? how the fuck is that even possible? i'm not even sure i'll like living in LA. Austin is perfect for me. i don't know what the fuck to do. this is the hardest decision i've ever had to make. i don't know if this is the right time to try to get sober for a while.
ok, enough bitching, whining and emoticons. nobody reads this shit anyway.
ps: on a happy note, i have been having a lot of fun going on field trips every friday with my biology class. even though it's really exhausting following my teacher around and identifying/collecting plants for four or five hours. i'm also hanging out with my bud tim a lot and shooting shorts. i'm not always happy with my performances, and we do some wacky and esoteric stuff, but i love to work on shit, whatever it is. we finally entered one of our shorts into a short film contest, and i'm pretty excited about it. i hope we find more contests to enter other stuff into soon. anyway. things aren't all bad.