dr_u

As I sat in my car, which thanks to an overheating engine had quickly become a $9000 paperweight, I tried to see something positive in the situation. I had come to a stop at one of the busiest intersection in the city during the height of rush hour. People were simply looking at me and my car with annoyance and for more than twenty minutes I sat at that intersection. I had started to despair and was beginning to lose hope in my fellow travelers on spaceship Earth when out of nowhere a car full of my fellow bass-loving hip hop generation shouted for me to sit tight and in no time they had pushed the car out of harm's way. Seconds later my father was shepherding me back to my studio and I finished off the bottle of Jim Beam as bid a sad farewell to the fifth car I've owned in two years.
The next morning the sun rose and I called in to work, as I still needed to deal with the car. That issue settled I slowly began to realize the positive aspects of my situation. The car loan that I'd foolishly agreed to completely locked me into payments for five years on a car that once paid off would be 13 years old. The dealership offered to fix the car and increase my payment until the amount had been settled and I eventually scoffed and came to the realization that until further notice I was without my own personal transportation. However I live roughly twenty feet from a bus stop (which happens to be the single most reliable form of transportation in this city) and my place of employment is also on a bus line so I can make like a real life east coast city dweller and commute by public transportation. With the fluctuating gas prices I no longer have to worry about whether I have enough fuel to get me home. I still live in the same town as my family so if there is something I desperately need to do, like travel to Meijer or Kroger (I only shop at unionized stores); they can give me a ride. My folks had been complaining about not spending enough time with them, so that will no longer be an issue.
Sadly, I won't be spending much time at my favorite place for sushi on Sundays, but even that is a blessing since it robs Sarah of the opportunity to personally gloat about picking the winning groupie (err potential soul mate) on "Rock of Love" and I don't have to tell her that a chatty PA from Viacom spilled the beans to me on that show's ending as well as the ending of the "Pick Up Artist" a month ago. I'll miss that lovable gang of curmudgeons and ne'er do wells, but I'll especially miss the salmon tempura roll and chicken satay. Besides, without a car I'm now so carbon neutral I could wear Styrofoam boxers. It also forces me to pay closer attention to my oft neglected fantasy football teams and job as fantasy league manager. Too many of the team owners are using backdoor trades to pad their scores and those guilty parties who are reading this please note: I've been watching you three and if it continues I will squash you and your shenanigans with ruthlessly surgical aggression. You sirs are on notice.
This has also given me more time for thoughtful reflection about the human condition. In the hustle and bustle of the life I had become more worried about the present and hadn't looked to the future or reflected on my past and that is always a prescription for trouble. Granted it turns out that the human condition hasn't changed much from the last time I reflected on it. We're still sweating the small stuff and ignoring the big things like President Bush vetoing legislation last week that would increase spending for the State Children's Health Insurance Program by $35 billion over five years. All the while the administration is calling for another increase in spending on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and ratcheting up the rhetoric for a possible invasion of Iran. Instead, we're told to watch and worry about fallen starlets or ridiculous local controversies like in Greenville, Maine where the popular The Black Frog's version of the "Naked Lunch" may soon be banned, sharing the same fate of William Burroughs' novel.
A sandwich called the Skinny Dip, featuring sliced prime rib in a baguette roll, has been offered free of charge to anyone willing to plunge naked from the restaurant's dock into Moosehead Lake. Since the free sandwich offer was introduced three years ago, owner Leigh Turner has found plenty of takers. "We've had two or three a week," he said.
During that time only one patron has suggested that the activity was inappropriate, Turner said. That patron has apparently suggested to selectmen recently that the activity be ended.
The naked lunch issue surfaced recently when Town Manager John Simko presented the Black Frog's application to renew its liquor license. Simko said he had been approached about the nudity and suggested that Police Chief Scott MacMaster speak to the owner about it. Turner did not attend the selectmen's meeting, but said he would remove the free lunch offer if asked to do so. The skinny dip was typically done at night, no frontal nudity was exposed to customers and a towel was readily available, Turner said, "Most everybody applauded."
I doubt that I'd ever participate in such a promotion since I tend to sink like a stone, but lord knows I've made bigger spectacles out of myself in public for less worthy reasons than a free sandwich so I wouldn't speak ill of any participants.
I have also had more time to watch more of the upcoming fall television lineup. Is it me or is ABC making the exact same show over and over? They all seem to be cheap knockoffs of Desperate Housewives, are all about morally bankrupt rich families and all come on at 10 PM. If you can tell the difference between them you are better than I am, which, is no surprise to anyone since I don't own a car.