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dr_lizardo

NoHo

Member Since 2006

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Thursday May 25, 2006

May 25, 2006
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Ja, und? "Yes, and. . . ?"

Is a useful German expression I picked up from Run Lola Run that means "what you just said is entirely meaningless, a fact that is observable from the lack of ramifications that follow your having said it". I don't know if english has an expression of comparable point and force.

It's what you might say about my last journal entry, though one person was kind enough to offer a commonality of understanding.

Sometimes your brain just needs to take a really huge shit.

Last night I was on break from tossing bags of ice, and I was sitting next to a couple of truck drivers, listening to them talk about how much money they make. Holy fuck. I sent an inquiry off to a truck driving school this morning. I'd like to know how much it costs and how long it takes to get a CDL. I do recall from having moved a couple of times that i hate driving big trucks but for that kind of money I'll get over it. I get to thinking that to go into that profession would be some kind of failure, failure to get into an academic career, but then i pose the question "prove what to whom?" I can get a laptop with voice type and let my thoughts wander where they will and If I get an idea just speak into the mike and get it on the computer. I also think that I would be lonely, that I couldn't make personal connections, find a relationship. Well, if you observe my photos from previous journal entries there ain't no pictures of people in them; for all my social skills I might as well be autistic. Or maybe it's just that hinge factor of how to form relationships ..

anyway, I need not become any more or less social on the road than I would be at home, just get a laptop with a wireless lan, a couple different connection ports and do my journaling and emailing from whereever I am, assuming available connectivity. And with my own mobile business I could just base myself whereever if ever I find someone to be with, and just do local routes wherever that may be. Gotta stop thinking inside a box, however much I crave to be boxed in and told what to do. And If i want I can truck around for a few years and then go back to school yet again, instead of being a latin teacher maybe do some actual archaeology. I realized when I was taking my exam today that I do have some affection for that field as well, people have given me support in pursuit of it and it does have the pluses of having colleagues in the field with whom one can share a beer on occasion.

Whatever. I get a lot more ideas that ever i implement, just right now I can see that I have some options for my life. a horizon, a destination and a good sized check when you get there does not seem a particularly hateful sort of life. Prove what to whom? Just do something, just be and be OK. The very definition of non-neurosis.


Edited a bit, later on for grammar. It occured to me that So What is the english equivalent of Ja und? But i don't know if it's exactly identical in feel, but to speculate further would just exceed my linguistic expertise. So you;ll just have to wonder.

I thought of a terribly clever pithy saying " sometimes it's hard to tell whether you're seeing things or just seeing things."
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
hydra:
I did blend a little bit didn't I? hehe... I love being bright!

Well, it's Saturday, I'm attempting to catch up to everything on here so it becomes normal again..Slow paced. More time to put effort into comments left on people's pages. People like you.

This comment was made while I was really hungry. Fancy that eh? Well, I am off, I shall talk to you soon enough!

xo
May 27, 2006
salome:
Thank you so much for your kind words. Don't worry, I'm not quitting SG anytime soon. I'm just fed up with the modeling profession; even the "alternative" modeling circuit has the same attitude that women should be skinny and not heard, just like the Playboy/glamour shots mainstream. This is news to me, and I don't like it. SG is a fantastic community and I'm very grateful for the people I've met here, and I'm staying as long as they'll have me. But I think my modeling will be more or less restricted to SG from now on.

You know, a website isn't a bad idea. It's immediate, cheap, and you can get feedback and possibly interest in funding your project.
May 28, 2006

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