Ok this is going to be a very awkward blog since I am 3/4 drunk and 1/4 drugged up with pain killers and muscle relaxers. I spell very well stoned and drunk so please pardon the correct "English" and grammar.
So I went out to the pub / bar that I am a silent owner with some friends who are visiting me that took me out after my leg therapy earlier today and I got completely smashed and very quickly and sudden. Have not drank any alcoholic drinks for about 2 weeks and with the mixture of oxycodone / percocet, it kicked in and I got and am totally smashed. I was having a great time with a couple of shots to tequila, Jgermeister, scotch, sex on the beach, and beer when this certain song started to play that triggered a very sore and painful memory that has haunted me for the past 3 months. You know how certain smell, sight, touch, or sound can trigger some strong memories from the past whether good or bad? Well there is a special dear, close, sweet, beautiful, and great female friend that I had for 11 years that decided to walk away from our friendship 3 months ago with a note saying goodbye and no reason. It has devastated me beyond all comprehension and I broke down because she was and still is someone who I really care about as such a friend and she was like my little sister. This song that triggered my memories and my strong feelings for her (yeah as a friend and more than as a friend I admit that and she knew about for years) is from this Canadian artist name Michael Buble and the song is called "You Don't Know Me" and it is a remix of an old song. Talk about a quick crash to my fun and it just came on the radio at the bar and my hurt feelings started to come into play. Like if someone really broke your heart and stepped all over it and they did not give a shit and as much as I have some anger towards her for this, the feelings of hurt is still there and it really bothered me tonight during and after this song that I started to drink 3 doubles of each shot above with a 2 large pints of beer within 5 minutes. Whatever you do, do not drink this many drinks an hour after popping 3 pain killer pills right when you arrived at the bar because all of a sudden I was like in far far away la la la land with no where but falling down on my face for being drugged and drunk. My friends who I was with (and still am) took me home and started to feed my some Thai food from my favorite Thai restaurant but little since I am afraid of throwing it up but while I am lying on the sofa while they are doing the dishes and getting some DVDs from next door, I am doing this. I am still in shitty land and staring outside my patio to the beach in between breaks of writing this blog wondering why this came into my head and why it played since I wanted to have a fun night now all I can think about is my friend Kellie and what she did to me. I just hope that in time this can change but I cannot call her because she has not returned my 3 calls to her the past 3 months and no email or letters. So I am here fucked up and well have to drink this bad memory away.
Ok my business partner on the modeling side Wendy and David, her hubby, are back and ready to watch a DVD and brought over some friends and some beer but all I can have is 1 bottle and that is in but in an hour I can start to drink it so that what I have in my body can be out of my system with my medications. So that would be it for my drinking tonight. Oh well had a good time non the less so time to finish this blog and maybe pass out on the sofa.
Mahalo and Aloha!!! Peace out!
MAJOR P.S.! For those of you who have seen the movie "50 First Dates" by Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, there is a song by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole at the end of the movie called "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" that is a Hawaiian remix of this old classic song. Heard it when I left the pub tonight and there was this beautiful rainbow over the beach that was caused by this light rain going on. No I was not tripping since my friends and my staff at the bar saw it and I asked if it was real. Ironic how certain things happens when a song is playing and it happens.
So I went out to the pub / bar that I am a silent owner with some friends who are visiting me that took me out after my leg therapy earlier today and I got completely smashed and very quickly and sudden. Have not drank any alcoholic drinks for about 2 weeks and with the mixture of oxycodone / percocet, it kicked in and I got and am totally smashed. I was having a great time with a couple of shots to tequila, Jgermeister, scotch, sex on the beach, and beer when this certain song started to play that triggered a very sore and painful memory that has haunted me for the past 3 months. You know how certain smell, sight, touch, or sound can trigger some strong memories from the past whether good or bad? Well there is a special dear, close, sweet, beautiful, and great female friend that I had for 11 years that decided to walk away from our friendship 3 months ago with a note saying goodbye and no reason. It has devastated me beyond all comprehension and I broke down because she was and still is someone who I really care about as such a friend and she was like my little sister. This song that triggered my memories and my strong feelings for her (yeah as a friend and more than as a friend I admit that and she knew about for years) is from this Canadian artist name Michael Buble and the song is called "You Don't Know Me" and it is a remix of an old song. Talk about a quick crash to my fun and it just came on the radio at the bar and my hurt feelings started to come into play. Like if someone really broke your heart and stepped all over it and they did not give a shit and as much as I have some anger towards her for this, the feelings of hurt is still there and it really bothered me tonight during and after this song that I started to drink 3 doubles of each shot above with a 2 large pints of beer within 5 minutes. Whatever you do, do not drink this many drinks an hour after popping 3 pain killer pills right when you arrived at the bar because all of a sudden I was like in far far away la la la land with no where but falling down on my face for being drugged and drunk. My friends who I was with (and still am) took me home and started to feed my some Thai food from my favorite Thai restaurant but little since I am afraid of throwing it up but while I am lying on the sofa while they are doing the dishes and getting some DVDs from next door, I am doing this. I am still in shitty land and staring outside my patio to the beach in between breaks of writing this blog wondering why this came into my head and why it played since I wanted to have a fun night now all I can think about is my friend Kellie and what she did to me. I just hope that in time this can change but I cannot call her because she has not returned my 3 calls to her the past 3 months and no email or letters. So I am here fucked up and well have to drink this bad memory away.
Ok my business partner on the modeling side Wendy and David, her hubby, are back and ready to watch a DVD and brought over some friends and some beer but all I can have is 1 bottle and that is in but in an hour I can start to drink it so that what I have in my body can be out of my system with my medications. So that would be it for my drinking tonight. Oh well had a good time non the less so time to finish this blog and maybe pass out on the sofa.
Mahalo and Aloha!!! Peace out!
MAJOR P.S.! For those of you who have seen the movie "50 First Dates" by Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, there is a song by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole at the end of the movie called "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" that is a Hawaiian remix of this old classic song. Heard it when I left the pub tonight and there was this beautiful rainbow over the beach that was caused by this light rain going on. No I was not tripping since my friends and my staff at the bar saw it and I asked if it was real. Ironic how certain things happens when a song is playing and it happens.
kekelyn:
OOo speaking of rainbows; we had a nice full bright one this evening; it was beautiful!
vhott:
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