Isn't it typical I wrote a big journal entry for today whilst I was working and I e-mailed it to my home address - I get home and my e-mail is playing funny beggers!
Basically I'm toying with asking someone out... I know after the last few months that's a really dumb idea yet it's still in my head... I'll update when I get my e-mail back up and running!
In other news, after having a week or two off, my weight loss is back on track - it's going much slower than it was initially but I'm reasonably happy with the way I look naked now so that's good!
I've gone from 196 lbs a few months ago down to 162 lbs as of today! My initial target was 161 lbs (which is 11 stone) so I'm very close! And once I reach that I'm going to try and get to 154 lbs (11 stone) - just to see if I can do it!
UPDATE:
Okay I read a book a few months ago about the Buddhist take on anger. I won't go into it too much here but essentially it put forward that by letting anger control us we are essentially punishing ourselves... that sums me up completely and although I'm still not dealing with my issues as well as I should I at least feel I've made a start...
But I digress - last night I was thinking about Heather (the girl I want to ask out) and I realised that I'm only scared of the answer being one extreme or the other because I myself perceive those to be the outcomes.
I have a tendency to be dramatic when I describe my own emotions... but there is no need to describe my emotions... I only have to casually ask her out - she says no it's no big deal (we're still friends and I haven't dramatically thrown our relationship away), she says yes and we go out. I can't believe this has never been clear to me before... d'oh!
So today I texted her and casually asked her out - there was a little self-deprecation thrown in too for good measure but she knows me well enough to expect that! The answer was a maybe and she'll let me know tomorrow (I asked her to a gig and she's working nights so would need the night off)... so with luck tomorrow I'll be happy... but if I'm not I'm confident I won't be suicidal like last time!
Update 2!:
Basically I'm toying with asking someone out... I know after the last few months that's a really dumb idea yet it's still in my head... I'll update when I get my e-mail back up and running!
In other news, after having a week or two off, my weight loss is back on track - it's going much slower than it was initially but I'm reasonably happy with the way I look naked now so that's good!
I've gone from 196 lbs a few months ago down to 162 lbs as of today! My initial target was 161 lbs (which is 11 stone) so I'm very close! And once I reach that I'm going to try and get to 154 lbs (11 stone) - just to see if I can do it!
UPDATE:
Okay I read a book a few months ago about the Buddhist take on anger. I won't go into it too much here but essentially it put forward that by letting anger control us we are essentially punishing ourselves... that sums me up completely and although I'm still not dealing with my issues as well as I should I at least feel I've made a start...
But I digress - last night I was thinking about Heather (the girl I want to ask out) and I realised that I'm only scared of the answer being one extreme or the other because I myself perceive those to be the outcomes.
I have a tendency to be dramatic when I describe my own emotions... but there is no need to describe my emotions... I only have to casually ask her out - she says no it's no big deal (we're still friends and I haven't dramatically thrown our relationship away), she says yes and we go out. I can't believe this has never been clear to me before... d'oh!
So today I texted her and casually asked her out - there was a little self-deprecation thrown in too for good measure but she knows me well enough to expect that! The answer was a maybe and she'll let me know tomorrow (I asked her to a gig and she's working nights so would need the night off)... so with luck tomorrow I'll be happy... but if I'm not I'm confident I won't be suicidal like last time!
Update 2!:
so with luck tomorrow I'll be happy... but if I'm not I'm confident I won't be suicidal like last time!
Well there's good news and there's bad news and if I tell you the good news is that I'm not suicidal I think you can probably guess the bad news!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
1) Real life would be very unfortunate to actually mimic the WCS
2) If it does at least you are prepared for it and can be smug about that
3) If you can't even handle thinking about the WCS that's a warning sign in itself.
Good luck and happy thinking!