dooblecain

being raped by hillbillies would be funny, so long as they weren't raping me, 'cause I'm sure then it would just be smelly

[Edited on Jul 17, 2005 12:33PM]

Remember, if hillbillies try to rape you it is best to run away and attempt to climb something, then belt them with hygiene products and prophylactics until they flee in terror.

Alternately, when south of the Mason/Dixon line you may attempt to convince the hillbillies that one or more of their number is a direct descendant of a famous civil war general. By talking quickly and using polysyllabic words you may be able to turn the hillbillies against one another long enough to flee in terror for the nearest Starbucks, or failing that any chain coffee or book store. It is widely documented that any hillbilly entering a chain coffee or book store will quickly enter the bathroom, there establishing a cocoon and emerging as a mature yuppie in six to eight weeks. Yuppies are similar to a hillbilly interally, but instead of physical defensive and offensive structures that hillbillies utilize for survival yuppies defend themselves with an astonishing array of psychological attacks, misdirections, camoflogues, and warning colors. They do retain a few physical offensive measures, and may throw hot coffee if cornered or severely agitated.