So, the House approved an amendment to the Constitution to ban flag "desecration"... Who wants to road trip to DC? We can get American flags and megaphones, stand in front of the Capitol, and read Texas v. Johnson through the megaphones while we burn the flags. Or, instead of reading Texas v. Johnson, we can read teh transcripts from the Futurama episode, "A Taste of Freedom", where Zoidberg eats the flag:
"...I lost my real hand plantin' the flag when we took back Haley's Comet! Yet it was worth it. So much do I love that flag. I love it even more than I love my seven wives. That's right, I'm a polygamist. Yet I would gladly eat a flag myself, had I not used my intestine as a rope to hoist a flag made of my own skin, if it would protect the freedom of the proud people who salute that flag!"
Anyhow, on to a more important subject that the flag: me, or, more accurately, my life.
My faithful minions, I have something to tell you all. Your beloved leader and demigod is in love. Her name is Susie. She's really cute, and kinda short. Like 157 cm (that's 5' 2" for you Americans who haven't gotten on the brain train yet). She's got huge... tracts of land (although that really doesn't matter that much to me). The best part? She respects herself. She doesn't dress like a slut or behave like one. I was going to take her to a party last night, but I had to be there early to fix the guy's computer, and she wasn't at home when I dropped by. She called my house and left her number, though. I'll give her a call in an hour or so, to see if she wants to go to Miglewood a nice coffee shop and a great place to score weed and/or shrooms if you happen to be into that shit (she isn't, neither am I). They have four bands playing. $5 cover. I'm broke, but I know the owner, and I never show up on time to shows anyway, so I'm pretty sure I can get in for free.. The one thing I am not looking forward to if I start dating her is quitting smoking. I am a man who enjoys his cigarettes. I can give up smoking, though, and find another self-destructive habit that is equally as bad... Or, who knows? I may decide that I want to live through my forties.
Oh, and in closing, there is a difference between a slut and someone who just enjoys sex. Just thought I'd throw that out there...
"...I lost my real hand plantin' the flag when we took back Haley's Comet! Yet it was worth it. So much do I love that flag. I love it even more than I love my seven wives. That's right, I'm a polygamist. Yet I would gladly eat a flag myself, had I not used my intestine as a rope to hoist a flag made of my own skin, if it would protect the freedom of the proud people who salute that flag!"
Anyhow, on to a more important subject that the flag: me, or, more accurately, my life.
My faithful minions, I have something to tell you all. Your beloved leader and demigod is in love. Her name is Susie. She's really cute, and kinda short. Like 157 cm (that's 5' 2" for you Americans who haven't gotten on the brain train yet). She's got huge... tracts of land (although that really doesn't matter that much to me). The best part? She respects herself. She doesn't dress like a slut or behave like one. I was going to take her to a party last night, but I had to be there early to fix the guy's computer, and she wasn't at home when I dropped by. She called my house and left her number, though. I'll give her a call in an hour or so, to see if she wants to go to Miglewood a nice coffee shop and a great place to score weed and/or shrooms if you happen to be into that shit (she isn't, neither am I). They have four bands playing. $5 cover. I'm broke, but I know the owner, and I never show up on time to shows anyway, so I'm pretty sure I can get in for free.. The one thing I am not looking forward to if I start dating her is quitting smoking. I am a man who enjoys his cigarettes. I can give up smoking, though, and find another self-destructive habit that is equally as bad... Or, who knows? I may decide that I want to live through my forties.
Oh, and in closing, there is a difference between a slut and someone who just enjoys sex. Just thought I'd throw that out there...